You want to know where I got this idea? From my brain. Because my brain was thinking there isn’t nearly enough poetry here on YOMYOMF, let alone haikus. So I’ve decided to write up a set of haikus each week, followed by commentary about each.
Sometimes, there’s a theme. Sometimes, there isn’t. Just like life.
Have you ever noticed how you can cap off pretty much any statement not directly related to the concept of living with “Just like life” and come off that much more classy for it?
It’s amazing. And it doesn’t even necessarily have to make sense.
Just like life.
Dumb, little fly – why
Do you torment me like so
How did you get in?
Right now, there is a fly in my room. Which is peculiar because I shut all my windows and my door has been shut practically all day, leaving me in something of a vacuum seal. So how then did it arrive here, to zim and zoom around my face as I try to write this week’s column?
I’d like to slap you
But I don’t want my hands marked
With your icky, icky blood.
The thing about opening my door to get a flyswatter is that I open myself up to the possibility of the fly getting out into a larger space, making it easier for the fly to elude capture or death. But the the thing about keeping the door closed and killing it with my bare hands is that then I’ll get all that gross inside stuff on my hands.
I hate getting my hands dirty figuratively because I have very, very delicate hands – soft hands. But I do not, as someone once told me, have “lady hands.”
The tupperware helps
It will be your new home, see
New pet in my cage.
That’s why I developed an alternate strategy in these cases, a contingency plan if you will. I’ve got lots of tupperware at my place, so I usually eat my food in my room and am too lazy to put away their containers – often the aforementioned tupperware – immediately. So naturally, I use the things I eat my food in to capture filthy creatures like flies.
Then I keep them in there as pets for a while until I release them after a couple days.
I can’t be the only person that does this, yeah?
I have found that the food I eat in the tupperware cages usually tastes better.