yet another worm in a sexy Apple…

This post is a follow up to my previous post, “Why I Love A Rotten Apple”.

Apple sucks yet I love all Apple products.  As I’ve written in my previous post, my relationship with Apple is a love/hate one of the ultimate disfunction.  Since a child, all and any computers I have purchased have been of the Apple/Mac variety.  The only exception to this rule was when I was 21, just out of college, and super poor.  Unable to afford the hefty premium for an Apple computer, I was forced to go to Circuit City and purchase a Packard Bell.  It was ugly and hard to use…but it was cheap.  Beyond this one infidelity, I have always been faithful to Apple and Apple has always been loyal to sucking as much money out of my bank accounts as possible.  It’s like being in love with a super hot vampire – you get sex and the vampire sucks you to death (slowly and virtually unnoticed).  Nothing worse then getting sucked to death, I assure you of that.

Which brings me to my most recent purchase of yet another Apple product:  my new, white, iPhone 3GS…

iphone-sucks

I purchased the original iPhone about 2 years ago.  I got it the day that it came out.  Remember when? Thousands of people sleeping in line for weeks at Mac stores across the country just to be the first to get their wanton hands upon the new, sleek, sexy, mini phone/computer.  Well, it’s been almost 800 days since my first iPhone and I hooked up.  And in that time, 2 sexier, “better” versions have hit the streets…the 3G and the 3GS.  Now, I wouldn’t have considered purchasing a new iPhone because my original worked fine.  But Apple did a really sneaky thing.  Over the course of the past 2 years, the company has been issuing newer operating software updates for the iPhone to make it run better, stronger, faster.  However, with every new upgrade, my iPhone got slower and slower (and btw…you sort of have to upgrade…no choice).  I found out that the microprocessor that came with my generation 1 iPhone could not handle the sheer amount of data with each necessary OS upgrade.  So, every time I wanted to access my phone book, texts, pictures, etc., I would click the icon and then have to wait 8 seconds for the program to load.  Sucks.  But, with the new iPhone 3GS and it’s new, faster processor, there would be virtually no wait time at all.  Those sneaky Apple people. So so sneaky they are, with their glasses and their degrees from MIT, CIT, IIT.  This was no accident.  They knew the old iPhone would move like molasses during a winter morning every time there was an upgrade.  They knew it alright.  They knew that when I had to wait 8 seconds or more to check my IM that there would be the birth of a subconscious need – the need for speed.  Basically, Apple would create a desire from within that only a purchase of a new iPhone 3GS could cure.  And mind you, when one upgrades to the new iPhone, your original calling plan will go up by about $15.  Same plan, more money.  Why?  Don’t get me started…

As much as I would like to say that I was able to withstand the temptations of modern consumerism and need/want manipulation, I quickly caved into my desires like any good Apple addict should.  And so I went, 2 days ago, to the AT&T store to purchase my new iPhone 3GS.  All was going well throughout this upgrade purchase until I saw the tax.  The iPhone 3GS with 16 gigs of memory costs $199.  With a sales tax just shy of 10% in California, I anticipated a total cost of about $219, right?  Wrong.  Tax was almost $60!  My total bill came out to about $260!  How can that be?  When I told the AT&T specialist that he calculated my bill wrong, he quickly explained to me how he calculated it right.  BTW, those Apple/AT&T people are very smart and well trained in the art of rhetoric, debate, and persuasion…so beware.  The $199 for the iPhone 3GS 16 gig is a subsidized price.  The actual price of the iPhone is $599.  But, since I was upgrade eligible, as long as I signed an additional 2 year contract with AT&T, they would allow me to purchase that iPhone for $199.  BUT, the tax on that iPhone would be based on the actual retail price of $599.  Hence the almost $60 in tax.  Ugh.  With a quick eye roll, I whipped out my credit card and made the purchase.  Further proving my continued, life-long, disfunctional relationship with Apple – “I love Apple.  I buy Apple.  Apple sticks it’s fist of innovation into my butt.  I smile.”  Yet another financial blood funnel plunged into my wallet courtesy of the fine geniuses over in Cupertino.

What’s your unhealthy relationship?  What’s that thing you keep going back to that thanks you with a swift kick in the nuts (and if a lady, substitute “nuts” with “boobs”)?

steve_jobs

"i give you iPhone 3GS, you give me blood or money. i suck either..."

p.s.  did i tell you that I love Apple products?

15 thoughts on “yet another worm in a sexy Apple…

  1. I have many but I have a feeling it’s going to be the Saab I’m driving. I love this freakin’ car even though the Coolant light keeps popping up for no reason and the windows open but takes about a minute to close.

  2. It would have to be stuff I’ve blogged about already–Round Table Pizza, Thrifty Ice Cream, basically a lot of food stuff that’s not the healthiest. Sometimes I’m amazed I’m not a blimp.

  3. You know, I think the tax on the retail price is only a CA thing. I got my iPhone in NY (upstate NY) and the taxes appear to have been reflected on what I paid for the iPhone. I was a slow mover to new technology, so I lucked out with the 3GS.

  4. I’m loyal to Apple products myself, but the last thing I want is email in my pocket so still don’t have an iPhone yet… but my real love/hate relationship begins and ends with my art collection. I’m always on the hunt for cool pieces to buy, but I have no more wall space in my tiny ass apartment. I guess it’s time to move…

  5. wow, Nic, if running out of wall space is the extent of your “kick in the balls”, you are rad.

    i always thought a love affair with art could result in a very empty wallet.

  6. Racing. I’m not a fast person but I still do it. It’s addictive. Then I start salivating over everyone else’s gear: new bikes w/carbon frames, new shoes with special bounce, new Garmins, new Polar heart-rate monitors, new $300 polarized sunglasses, helmets that don’t look like mushroom caps… but in the end after all that money to enter the race, to buy gear, the time to train and the money to get to the race; all I get is a lousy cotton Men’s XL t-shirt that says something like “St. Patty’s Day Dash- Seattle!” drawn by a color-blind 7th grader.

  7. Sweets. I love sweets, but I pay dearly for it. To consume it, to repair the dental damage, and to work off all the damning evidence. It’s so bad I now understand what Flavor Flav means when he says, “I got a Cadillac in ma mouth.”

  8. work. i really like my job but it’s making me freaking blind. tons of computering.

  9. Project cars. I have so many I can’t find space to park them all… But total what I’ve paid for all of them and it adds up to a new Camry. Maybe even a Corolla. Every time I see one that needs to be rescued like a pound puppy I can’t resist.

    Justin – your coolant sensor is probably malfunctioning. Why a car would even need such a doodad when we’ve gotten by for decades by simply peeking under the hood is beyond me, but I digress… It’s probably located in the coolant reservoir and should be pretty easy to replace. Your window regulators (like drawer rails) probably need a little WD-40 too.

  10. yeah, i still have the original iphone too and it is pretty dang sluggish. the at&t guy told me that his friend sold hers (with a cracked screen!) for $700 since pple use it for parts. so you can think about doing that.. i’m a sucker for apple products too. i really want the 3gs for video…

  11. Ms. Joan,

    please let us know who to contact so that we can sell our old iPhones for $700!

    inquiring minds want to know…

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