Anyone who has spent any time in the company of chickens knows that the female chickens are the sluts of the animal kingdom and will have sex with way more cocks males than necessary to fertilize their eggs. But Oxford researcher Rebecca Dean and her team have recently discovered that although the she-chickens may be promiscuous, they aren’t stupid and practice a reliable, if not, bizarre form of selective birth control.
Chickens have already been observed performing “seminal evacuation” which basically means that they will occasionally eject the sperm after having sex. Dean and her team studied this phenomenon and have come to the following conclusion:
Female chickens’ sperm ejection is based on the “desirability” of the rooster it just did the nasty with. In other words, the she-chickens are more likely to not only eject and reject the sperm of “socially subordinate males,” but will do so with “greater intensity.” In other words, if my fellow Offender Anderson and I were to both fuck a chicken, that chicken would gladly accept Anderson’s manly love seed while mine would be shunned like a Big Mac at a vegan retreat. Uh, yeah…
Yup, the chickens can actually shoot that loser sperm right back out in what is essentially a reverse bukkake. Which is pretty incredible because the only other animals I’ve seen capable of doing this are the Thai hookers in the Patpong district of Bangkok who can perform a similar act, but with ping-pong balls. Still, that doesn’t make the chickens’ skill any less impressive.
According to Dean: “These results show that promiscuous females can actively bias sperm utilization to exert a strong and predictable influence on the struggle for fertilization.” Or in lay terms: Buh-bye, you loser cock!