Why Gee-jus Why?
Many of my close friends are having beautiful babies these days. A side of me can’t wait to join them in the adventures of parenthood. The other side is scared shitless at the thought of dealing with a mini Sung. I was a true nightmare as a child. I almost burnt the house down, literally. My parents dealt with my terror as best they could. Mom had to get creative. A mere spanking lost its effectiveness as I grew and learned to defend myself from her offensive attacks. She is what one would call a “master” at punishment. It’s the strength and creative spirit of her mind that eventually broke me. Her best attack was when she caught my friends and I watching Long Dong Silver on my dads Beta Max VCR. A friend found it in the garbage. We were the only family on the block with a beta max. It was all planned out. My parents were out on a grocery store run. My sister was instructed to keep watch outside or her life would be lost by a pile driver. We were all laying on our stomachs yelling nonsense at the T.V, when we realized my parents were standing behind us. My friends scattered. I so wished to join them. Anywhere but here. Pops stashed away the tape and just nodded his head as mom started to talk to Gee-jus. I was instructed to hold the footstool over my head as she circled around me with a butcher knife. “Why Gee-jus why?” She cried. Hysterical she put the knife to her throat and asked me if I wanted her to die. ”You want me to die? You die! I die! Everybody die!” I didn’t want to die. Seriously folks, why Gee-jus why?
Dude…. same shit went down with my mom. similar strategy too…. i think it’s asian immigrant moms or something. instead, she would threaten to run in front of a car. or crash into one if we were in the car. hahaha..heh..heh…err.
I’ve blocked out most of my childhood trauma with immigrant parents out of my mind. But somehow I still have an image of my mother stalking me down the hall like a warden – if wardens had perms and wore Chinatown pajamas. She’s screaming ‘Nubi!’ (in Shanghainese, that literally translates into cow’s c**t aka tough, stubborn b**h) and trying to whack me with her slipper. It was all very Mommie Dearest meets Kung Fu Hustle. And while I hardly think that slipper actually broke skin, I can’t look at a pack of Dearfoams again without getting the shakes.
Damn, I just my TV privileges or at worse had to stand in the corner with my arms stretched out. The most “Asian-y” they got was to give me long lectures about how my fucking up reflected badly on them and it brought shame to them. Yup, got that a lot. Good times…
Being blasted with nonstop classical music.
I got something way worse- the stare.
you’re all wussies. that ain’t nothin’…
i haven’t spoken to my parents in over 10 years for good reason. If you’re still having holiday dinners together, than you had a brilliant childhood so stop complaining.
isn’t that considered punishment? having dinner with your parents on holidays?
My dad gave me two choices…feather duster or back scratcher. Once I was clever enough to steal both of them and “accidentally” threw it over the backyard fence. Twenty minutes later, my humble neighbor returned them to our house. Have you ever been dust and itch free?
i was never lucky enough to be punished or beaten. i was a latchkey kid.
at least you all had a choice…
you all love your parents so don’t deny it.
you’re right, roger. i did have a choice: between my mother actually cutting me (verbal threats and the swinging of arms with knives is strictly amateur hour) OR living on the streets. i chose to live on the streets.
Here’s my lengthy reply:
http://patienceyee.blogspot.com/2009/08/why-are-asian-kids-so-good-at-math.html
Do you remember the paddleball toy? Well when I would break one (the rubberband would come undone from the staple) My parents would use the paddle on me when I was bad, which was all the time. I was an only child so everything that happened, of course, was my fault cause I didn’t have anyone to blame it on. My parents would always give me the “this hurts me more than it hurts you” speech and the whole time I wondered if thats true…Why aren’t you crying?
OK, this is old but reading this for the second time and reading the comments left here, all I can say is that it is comforting to know that Asian kids had it just as bad as Black kids growing up, in terms of punishment. Well the methods are a bit different, the threatening ones self thing in particular but otherwise very similar. No way a Black mom is threatening to hurt herself! Oh, no, she’s threatening you! My mom favored the belt. Ah, yes, the belt. Good times, good times. She also favored the shoe. Or whatever was light enough and in range to throw if you were not within grabbing distance. lolz. Funny, me and my sibs joke about it now with my mom.
Sung, your mom was indeed creative. This made me LOL. Hard.