I kinda hate it when crazy shit goes down in the news and you’re the last person to hear about it. A few days ago, I heard about the story of the girl who was kidnapped 18 years ago and is now found. Her name is Jaycee Dugard (now 29) and I am so thankful that this kidnapping story has a happy ending. BUT what’s seriously fucked up is this guy, Phillip Craig Garrido, fathered two kids with her AND made her live in tents in the backyard. You see, he had gone to jail before where he was convicted of kidnap and rape. 50 years! But when he went on parole after only serving 10 years, he did it again and kidnapped Dugard, 18 years ago. BTW, doesn’t California want to try and save money by letting prisoners out earlier. Might wanna rethink that.
BACK TO THIS GUY, he was a registered sex offender on parole but since he raped a female adult in the past, he technically could still be around female minors. WTF!!! ***If you are someone who lives in Antioch, California, please take this brief moment to reflect why you still live there*** What pisses me off more is that neighbors who knew that a sex offender lived on the block had reported in the past of children in tents in Garrido’s backyard BUT police never thoroughly searched his property. AND his parole officer hardly ever went into his house on visits. DUDE, SERIOUSLY! And his wife, Nancy Garrido, should win “Wife of the Year” award for being so supportive and understanding of his life dreams…#!%!!
So, I must ask for my first ever Around the Horn, what type of punishment does Phillip Garrido deserve? Seriously, with the way everything happened, this guy will probably get a slap on the wrist. BUT if it were you, what would the sentence be?
ME, as a military vet, I’d start out making him work in the fields a little. Instead of water, make him drink dog piss. Some manually labor will weaken the muscles. Not no fake shit like Euna/Laura. Then, when he has a nice tan, ship him off to Guantanamo Bay for a quick tour. Make him cry a little. I hear its lovely in the fall. Next, fly him out to the Middle East and make him pick up and bury dead bodies. That should start giving him permanent nightmares. After that would be the corporate punishment for public viewing. There are a few popular ones like caning or stoning. But the British did it best. HANGED, DRAWN, and QUARTERED…But we wouldn’t kill him. Killing is wrong. Make him think he was dying and use a fake rope. Break his heart and hopes for an easy death. And finally, freeze him in a glass case, but keep him conscience so he can just see and hear. Place him in some cell forever while the MACARENA song plays on repeat. Is that too much? Fuck it.
What do you think this guy’s punishment should be?
Let it out. It feels better. Trust me. Make a fake name if you have to.
Ooh! You have some good ones! Here’s mine.
Have him live out his days locked in a cell with various Rachael Ray shows blaring at full volume 24/7, eating only her recipes for sustenance.
Your plan is awesome, dude. I don’t know if I can come up with something better.
It should be hosted by Joe Rogan.
Don’t forget to put in mouth guards so he doesn’t go bite his tongue off while he hangs or while he buries rotting corpses.
I’d also suggest shooting each of his nuts off. After all, that’s essentially what legal castration involves in California’s penal codes. And don’t bother giving him medical treatment until pus oozes and insects larva hatch. All this footage should be shown to every sex offender in the States.
I think this man doesn’t deserve any punishment. its clear he’s mentally ill. its the parent’s fault for letting her child be by herself at the time of kidnapping. everyone should calm down and not assume there’s only one person at fault.
author anson, you’re the one with problems.
i appreciate your opinion…but I think you should hang out with someone like Garrido and come back to me. You obviously don’t have any kids.
I don’t know if I can top your punishment, but I would include something involving the peehole.
Sometimes I wish I can gather all the sex offenders and burn them in a warehouse but that’s so old school. I think it would be more fitting to surgically cut off their penises and attach them to their chin so we could all identify them instantly.
fence off “Garrido the Perverted”. stapel his penis to a tree stump (all the way to the base of the member…multiple times). unleash 10, giant wild boars into his pen. Watch him decide whether or not to pull his own penis off or be slowly gored to death by wilbur. and of course it must be televised…
Damn, I just read some more about this fucker. He’s one psycho mf. Where can I volunteer for that jury duty?
mmm I would have to think about this one. When there’s mental stuff going on, it complicates the punishment decision.