A new study released by the Chinese Medical Association this week found that 26% of Chinese guys suffer from erectile dysfunction. That means that 1 in every 4 men in China has problems getting it up. Compare that to the 18% of men in the U.S. who suffer from the same condition and one has a better idea of the extent of this problem.

And there’s more: The situation is worse for Chinese men over 40—40% of them suffer from erectile dysfunction. And because of the stigma attached to this issue and the lack of public awareness, 83% of these sufferers never seek help for their problem. This comes on the heels of a 2009 survey where China was ranked 11th out of 13 countries in overall satisfaction with their sex lives. 

So what’s the deal with these Chinese dudes? According to the study, only 7.2 % of the cases are due to physical problems. That means the majority of these men could get it up if they wanted to, but can’t because of some psychological hang-up.

Is it the stress and pressure of living in the most ambitious nation in the world? Performing sexually could be an issue when you’re so focused on taking over the world. But whatever the reason, I know this must be disheartening news for Chinese men who have traditionally taken great pride in their masculinity and virility.

So let me give some advice to all the impotent important Chinese guys reading this so they can explain away their problem, reclaim their masculinity and save face. They should take a page from us Westerners and do what we do whenever our men are faced with some potentially embarrassing problem with no obvious solution: blame women.

How could Samson, the strongest man in the world, be defeated? Because his woman betrayed him and made him chop off his hair a.k.a. the source of his strength, that’s how! And what was the cause of the most destructive war in Ancient Greece? Just some chick named Helen whose crime was being too damn hot and too damn slutty! You don’t even have to single out a specific woman. If there’s a problem, just blame a group of random chicks, accuse them of witchcraft and burn them at the stake. And if you think this sort of shit doesn’t still happen today: “I’m sorry, your honor, I didn’t mean to sexually assault her, but I had no choice ‘cause she was dressed in a tight tank top and a really short skirt.”

And here’s the easy part about this strategy: Like us in the West, the Chinese already have a history of blaming all their problems on women so this isn’t even a new thing. Here are a few examples: The Shang Dynasty collapsed because of the Imperial Concubine Da, King Fucha lost himself and his kingdom through the beautiful Xishi, Minister Dong Zhu fell to charms of Diaochan and the Cultural Revolution was all the fault of that slutty B-actress–Madame Mao.

So Chinese dudes: Just carry over that tradition and blame the Chinese women for all your current sexual inadequacies. Seriously, what have your women done for you anyway? Do I even need to remind you that by the year 2020, 24 million of you most likely won’t be getting any at all from your women anyway? And remember that Chinese guy last December who killed his wife because he said she was teasing him about his inability to perform in the bedroom? Instead of taking personal responsibility for his own actions, he blamed his wife and saved face. See! This strategy works.

So why are so many Chinese men impotent?

Repeat after me: It’s all our women’s fault.