Regular readers of this blog know how much I enjoy writing about the oftentimes strange sexual tastes of our friends in Japan. Some of you may think I’m unfairly picking on the Japanese, others may think I’m too obsessed with them, but come on…how can I resist when I see such awesome stories coming out of that country about things like the penis festival or the virgin sex doll with a pop-able hymen? These are fun topics to write about (and by the way our traffic spikes whenever I blog about these subjects, it’s clear you feel the same way, too).
So I have to say these past few weeks have been disappointing…maybe even a little troubling because they’ve been largely devoid of any substantial news concerning anything related to Japanese perversion. I mean it was just a few, short months ago when within a period of a couple of weeks, I was able to blog about the Japanese porn star offering compensation sex to the Chinese, the Japanese masturbating champ of the world and even the Japanese hot dog eating champ (I admit this one’s a bit of a stretch but it’s kinda, sorta sexual!). I felt like we were in a Golden Age of Japanese perversion and that the stories would keep coming.
But then the well seemed to run dry. The bottom fell out. The bubble burst. And there’s been…nothing. It’s been drier than a BP executive’s mouth during a Senate hearing (see how much it’s upset me, I can’t even make a joke that’s timely and relevant anymore). So what happened to all my Japanese perverts? Where have you all disappeared to suddenly? Are you all summering on Martha’s Vineyard? Are you hibernating? What? I miss you. Please come back. Help me find my bliss again.
This is how desperate I’ve become: Today, I seriously considered blogging about this Japanese dude who calculated pi to 5 trillion digits on his homemade computer. I thought I could spin the story into some strange and interesting tale of Japanese perversion, but I was just fooling myself. In the end, it’s just a story about some egghead who has no life—there’s nothing perverted about that.
I hope this is just a temporary set-back and my Japanese friends will soon be back in all their perverted glory. But in the meantime, in order to satisfy my fix, I share with you some of the high quality products from the fine folks at Japan’s Kanojo Toys (the makers of the Penetration Count Masturbator). Sadly, this will have to do for now:
HIGH SCHOOL GIRL USED PANTIES (UNDERWEAR SIMULATION KIT)
USED PANTIES MAGAZINE THE BEST (WITH REPLICA GIRL’S UNDERWEAR)
BUKKAKE CUM LOTION
SUI LOVE DUCK WATERPROOF VIBRATOR
HELLO KITTY VIBRATOR
RAN AMANO AIR DOLL SET
THUNDER GOD POWER HARD TYPE PENIS WRAP
SALARYMAN VIBE
TAKAKAZU ABE BODY PILLOW COVER
FELA MASTER ORAL TOY WITH TONGUE
LITTLE SISTER HUG PILLOW
wow these range from hilarious to repulsive, how could they do that to hello kitty? and the last one is really, really bad
Caption for first pic: Two old birds, dick on a stick and a cock in the hand is worth as many in the bush as is apparent by the smiles, Octagenarian grandmas will still lick and grab your rooster, marry Asian not Caucasian!
If a used panty kit is your idea of a slow news day in the world of Japanese perversion, you are seriously jaded, young man! Either that or I need to get out more…
[...] WHERE HAVE ALL THE JAPANESE PERVERTS GONE?: [...]
Have you covered the virtual girlfriend theme park in Japan yet?