Good morning, ladies and gentlemen! I am today’s entertainment!
I was eating at Arby’s this week when I ordered four Roast Beef Sandwiches. Four, okay? That’s how many I ordered. So I get to the window, hand them my card. They charge me. I look at the receipt – yep, it said four there too. Then the guy hands me my bag of delicious and I drive home. When I set my prize down on the kitchen table and open it, guess what was inside?
FIVE FUCKING SANDWICHES!
Yep, I got five sandwiches when I only paid for four. I was pretty happy about that.
It’s about the small victories.
This week on YOMYOMF, we clear up some vaginal myths; explore the world of animal paint jobs; and indulge in some aural nostalgia in the form of songs that remind us of those frigid ice queens who break our hearts and then stomp on them with their pointed stilettos.
That felt good! Shall we?
I can always count on Beverly to enlighten me about women.
For example: I didn’t know vaginas bled! Gee, women are so mysterious! - OUTDOORS WHILE ASIAN: THE MENSTRUAL CUP
I have one thing to say to Sung:
Please avoid toll booths. - MOVIES THAT SHOULD HAVE STARRED ASIANS: THE GODFATHER
I remember seeing Lauren’s Friends episodes when I was a kid. A lot of that show didn’t make sense to me; I didn’t know anything about sex back then.
Some things never change. - MY FIRST (AND NEARLY LAST) DAY ON ‘FRIENDS’ (PART 1)
Gotta love Phil: always showing pictures of women who know their way with balls.
Alfredo has finally done the impossible: make me feel uncomfortable.
And you will be too, when you realize ladders aren’t just for climbing. - ENOUGH WITH THE TATTOOS ALREADY!
Gay men make good wingmen? I need a good Iceman for my Maverick. Except this Iceman would like men.
In other words, it would be exactly like Top Gun. - I NEED A SASSY GAY BEST FRIEND!
You read the title; I’m not even going to say anything: THE HARDER THEY COME
I’ve only got one thing to say to all of you about Twilight:
TEAM JACOB, BITCH! - TEN MORE THINGS I’D RATHER DO THEN WATCH ‘TWILIGHT’
Will Roger include a picture of a man’s crotch in an article this week?
I don’t know: will the sun rise tomorrow? - I GOTS NO CLOTHES
This week, I explore the minority taste in food. In truth, this is just a calculated excuse to post a picture of Maggie:
It’s funny cause it sounds like ‘rough.’ - PET DYE JOBS
If there’s one thing that would’ve made Toy Story 3 better, it definitely would’ve been this:
I celebrate the useless everyday by lying in the backyard and rolling around in the grass until my shirt turns green.
It’s very apropos, really. - IN PRAISE OF THE USELESS
I may not have had a mic, but I have a Caraoke experience.
There’s not much to say about it, except that it nearly ended in a car accident. - CARAOKE!
This article ends in a cliffhanger.
There can be only one!
Okay, that song’s making me all teary-eyed, so I’ll just wish you all a great weekend. Much love, word to your mother, SEACREST OUT.