Jesus, my life is so boring, I am genuinely running out of things to write about to preface this weekly column.  I don’t mean that I’m at least content.  It’s just that the misery has become so mundane.

So instead of a long intro, I’m going to give you a YouTube video:

Did that make you happy?  Cause for me, it’s about the only thing that does these days.

Damn it, Jerome – get it together!  This is not our therapist.

Sorry, all!  By the way, have y’all been working on your entry for our Interpretations film contest?  You have until September 15th so get crackin’!

Anyway, as we near the end of August, YOMYOMF dives headfirst into matters of kimchi ice cream; hating strangers; and Big Tits Zombie.  I really could not make this stuff up.

AN OPEN LETTER TO KOREAN PARENTS CELEBRATING THEIR CHILD’S FIRST BIRTHDAY:

“Now I’ve been to a number of dol celebrations recently and while this tradition may be my favorite part of the festivities, there’s one problem with it: It lacks serious drama.”

Make these changes, find that drama, make them Italian, and I think we’ve got a hit show!

ANYONE TRIED KIM CHI ICE CREAM?:

No, but I had jalapeno chocolate gelato in Canada a couple years ago.

It was actually not at all what you’d expect.

this is supposed to be jalepeno chocolate but the person who posted this could be a liar.

It was awful.

IS IT OK TO HATE STRANGERS?:

“I know you’re with me on this.  C’mon now, if you’re halfway honest with yourself, I know there’s some stranger out there who you see all the time, who you hate for absolutely no other reason than they exist in the same universe you do.”

I think you could get along with her.

ESCAPE FROM OR RATHER, WITHIN MONTEREY PARK:

“From looking at the menu and meeting the waitress – a young woman with a deep olive complexion and Chinese features, I realize I’m in a Xinjiang restaurant that serves Uyghur food.”

In spire of photos like those, the only thing I was thinking about reading this article was if that waitress was cute.  But I’m not obsessed with finding out.  It’s not like Elaine put up the address for this pl-

“OMAR’s

1718 New Ave
San Gabriel, CA 91776″

Then again, life is short and some questions need to be answered.

1,001 REASONS I LOVE MOVIES: (#16) RIVER PHOENIX:

I eagerly await the installment regarding Inception.

PHOTO MYSTERY:

“For privacy purposes, I will not post any photos of people, but I imagine that posting this beautiful picture of a snow-covered bridge should be pretty harmless.”

…and then the world ends.

COOL OLD PEOPLE:

“I use to think success was all about money and position. I see a different version of what success is.”

Tony Montana guesses it’s sex.

GO SEE – THE TILLMAN STORY:

“It’s not worth seeing simply because it’s “worthy” or “good for you” in the way that important movies are equivalent to oatmeal for breakfast.”

Now I’m even more excited to see this movie because I LOVE oatmeal!

JEROME & INCEPTION: MEMETIC POTENTIAL.:

If you thought the only thing missing from Inception was a healthy dose of the Internet’s sense of humor, well have I got the article for you!

It’s the one I linked to above.  In case you didn’t get that.

‘BIG TITS ZOMBIE’ OR WHY GOD HAS FORSAKEN ME:

“This faulty DVD was punishment for all my past transgressions. This DVD was my Scarlet Letter “A”—a reminder of my sins and the ultimate price I was now paying for them. I mean what else could it be, right?”

Actually, someone was attempting to extract a secret from you and sending this faulty DVD screener was a means to suss it out of you.  Your writing this blog entry means their mission was a success.

GOODBYE VIOLENCE, HELLO MARS:

“I didn’t have the nerve to ask her on a date or even for her number, but she was still on my mind.  So what did I do about it?  I made up a flyer, of course, one of those flyers with my phone number written on the bottom of it eight times, cut in strips with a scissor so you could pull one off and call me.”

Me personally, I usually end up finding her address and waiting outside her window.  You know – just watching.  If I’m lucky, I can catch her scent when she leaves the house, even up in the tree!

Okay, readers – that’s the last of the weekly recap!  I know you’ve got children to get back to, but in the case that you are an attractive young woman who doesn’t, do you need a little help changing that?

I know someone at an adoption agency and I think they can push you right to the top of the line.  Also, we should date.

PILGRIM OUT.