After recent tragedies in Moscow, Guest Offender Bobby (Justin’s assistant) and I got together for lunch and recalled our fond memories of the Fast & Furious European Red Carpet Premieres.

Anson:
Last year, a movie called Fast and Furious made its world premiere in Los Angeles and I had the privilege of being one of Offender Justin’s assistants during the production. It was my first taste of seeing how a big budget studio movie was being created. From witnessing classic cars being chopped up to stunt men flying off buildings to eating craft service willy wonka style, I quickly realized I was probably the luckiest man alive. Just the chance to meet people who worked in the industry and experiencing the circus tour schedule was an opportunity of a lifetime. But when the world premiere came, I felt a pinch in the arm and woke up from the dream ride. Little did I know, I was leaving on a jet plane for a trip of a lifetime.
Bobby:
One funny thing about working in film production is how you always find yourself in the oddest situations and places that you’d never think you’d get into. Sometimes I’ll just be focused on work, work, work….then I stop and look around (usually happens when I’m on set and sleep deprived at 3AM) and think…”Wow… How the hell did I end up in such a random place and situation?!?” Like standing in a 5 degree desert in Ridgecrest at 4:30am, or sitting in Howard Hughes’s rotting old office (where he used to pee in jars), or randomly driving Megan Fox two hours out to set. But one of the most exhilirating and surreal places that Offenders Anson, Justin, a couple other friends and I ended up in (courtesy of Fast and Furious)….was a little place called….MOSCOW.

ARRIVAL

Anson:
Bobby and I had our eyes glued out the jet window as we were touching down into Moscow. I’m quite the seasoned backpacker but never would I thought mother Russia would be a stamp in my passport. I’ve always had this theory that since Russia is technically in Asia, would it be normal to call everyone Asian? Driving to the hotel with my eyes wide open, everything felt intimidating. Buildings, cars, Justin’s bodyguard, everything. I kind of was in awe when we drove by the Kremlin. It was lit up like christmas time in the rich neighborhood. I seriously had my mouth open the whole time.

Bobby:
I knew Moscow would have a different mood…it was SERIOUS. I tried taking a picture at the Moscow airport and thought I was going to get tackled. The process of getting into the country was a little painstaking and intense than the other countries, but before we knew it…we were driving into the heart of Russia…the home of the Kremlin. We met our amazing coordinator, Masha, as well as Justin’s towering Russian bodyguard Alex (Alex had a mustache as thick as his accent). When we reached our hotel (right across the street from Red Square), we were notified that “vodka tasting” would begin within the hour…

VODKA TASTING

Anson:
When I got into my room, I did my ritual belly dive onto the bed. But then I found the pot of gold, a complimentary bottle of vodka. I quickly called up Justin’s room and his bottle was in the shape of an uzi. WHHAAT!!! I wasn’t sure what vodka tasting entailed but I quickly was taught how to party Moscow style. When taking shots of vodka, its usually chased by Corona. When asked by Russian girls to drink, you drink. When thinking you can out drink a Russian girl, make sure you don’t eat too many appetizers. When Justin’s bodyguard says “drink another one”, I drank another one. But damn was it a great night! Man I wish I had a Hot Tub Time Machine.

Bobby:
I imagine that our Russian comrades thought that once we landed in Moscow and went to the vodka tasting event that they set up, the alcohol and jet lag would knock us out and we’d get a good night’s rest. Boy, did that backfire! There were only 2 TYPES of Vodka to try…but we tried the crap out of them! I don’t think I can justly describe the rest of the night, but it consisted of moments such as Justin screaming that he had over 110 shots of Vodka, people doing jumping jacks outside a Moscow club with armed guards watching them in confusion, and the most insane nightclub I had ever been to. It was like Cirque du Soleil mixed with a fancy LA club with a dash of an exotic strip club. In other words, the stuff dreams are made of.

KREMLIN

Bobby:
The next morning we woke up early and journeyed to a place I never NEVER thought I’d find myself in…the Kremlin: the former headquarters of the Soviet Union. Back in the Rocky IV / Red Dawn days, this never would have been possible. I felt very honored to say the least. Highlights of the tour included historical art, weapons, buildings and artifacts from Russia’s long history (including the world’s biggest bell and world’s biggest cannon). Side Note: I also confirmed that “Katherine the Great” and “Peter the Great” were pretty good leaders…while “Ivan the Terrible” was crap.


Anson:
The next morning at the Kremlin was a bit spotty. It was a struggle waking up after the all you can vodka. Luckily my intensive military training taught me how to function while royally hungover. I truly wish my experiences at such an epic site was better remembered but I was hurting bad. Two highlights (besides Paul Walker making puke sounds at me) that stood out were: 1. Resting in a chair in one of the chamber rooms and the tour guide lady saying, “Please don’t sit in the historical priceless chairs” AND 2. Yacking at the beginning and the end of the tour. Certain people can say they’ve been to the Kremlin but can anyone really say they’ve yacked there too? …Twice?

HAPPY NIGHT

Anson:
The next night trying to find a place to grab a beer in Moscow was more challenging than we thought. We all agreed a chill night was in order. Masha, our handler and new friend, assured us we would find a perfect spot. The first bar we immediately were shoo’d away from the doorman. C’mon Asian Russian brother, hook us up. Maybe there was a dress code. The next place Masha strongly assured us its the best spot for Sunday nights. And when we pulled up and saw the overflow of people outside the bar, our search was over. But it turned into a Blue Oyster moment. Masha saved our asses and explained to us Sunday’s in Moscow is “happy night.”

Bobby:
Watching Masha run out of the bars and warning us, “Not this one! Not this one!” was classic. Yeah, this pretty much captures it, hah:

RED CARPET

Anson:
Man oh man. The red carpet premiere was breathtaking. Seeing so many fans of Fast and Furious was such an enriching feeling. And Justin talking to press, taking billions of pictures, signing autographs was beyond surreal. It was like Entourage except for reals. But with that, the crowd can get a bit out of control. This is where Alex, Justin’s bodyguard, true ninja skills revealed itself. This gentle giant knew how to handle the crowd and be absolutely invisible. How does a 6′ 3″ man hide himself? As we ate with Alex at the airport going home, he opened up to us about his family and some of the “stuff” he did in the past. I also told him about my “stuff”. I then presented him with my theory of Russians being Asians and called him my Asian brother. Finally after days of stern looks, he gave this big smile and we enjoyed each others company. It closed the most amazing trip perfectly. Thank you so much to Justin, the producers, the cast and crew, and Universal.


Bobby:
The Moscow Premiere of Fast and Furious was the last red carpet premiere that Justin, Anson and I went to on our European adventure and it was a perfect way to end the trip. The turnout was absolutely mind-blowing, the pre-screening Q&A was awesome, and the crowd went nuts. After the red-carpet, we had a final Fast & Furious dinner at an amazing Russian restaurant. By that point, we all felt like family and it was great to have one last meal with everyone before we all split ways.

As we left Mother Russia, it really sunk in what a crazy and surreal experience the entire trip was. The premiere tour was a culmination of the two years of working on “Fast and Furious,” and while theoretically “part of the job”, it was one of the most amazing life experiences I’ve ever had and the biggest “job perk” I could think of. It turned into a priceless adventure and I can’t thank Justin, Universal, the producers, and the Fast and Furious cast enough for allowing such an amazing trip.

Our prayers go out to our friends and the people of Moscow to keep them safe from danger.