By now, I’m sure many of our readers have heard that UC Berkeley’s College Republicans group is holding a special bake sale tomorrow. As you can see from the group’s Facebook posting below, the items for sale will be priced differently according to who you are as follows: White/Caucasian $2, Asian/Asian American $1.50, Latino/Hispanic $1, Black/African American $.75, Native American $.25 and $.25 OFF FOR ALL WOMEN (caps theirs):
The news of this bake sale has unleashed an avalanche of outrage and even led to an emergency meeting last night of the campus student government, which passed a resolution “condemning discrimination by student groups, satirical or otherwise.”
The College Republicans have defended their action by saying it is indeed meant to be “satirical” and to specifically poke fun at SB 185–a bill that would re-introduce race/ethnicity as criteria in California school admissions.
I know the proper thing to do here as a good Asian American is to condemn the actions of these young Republicans, but I’m not going to do that. Frankly, they have the right to express their beliefs and if they want to hold their little bake sale, more
white power to them!
But I do think they made a huge mistake and one they should’ve recognized as a mistake before coming up with this whole half-baked bake sale idea. They should’ve remembered one simple thing…Republicans don’t have a sense of humor.
And to be able to satirize or poke fun at something, you need to have a sense of humor. And Republicans are missing that. It’s like when you register to become Republican, that part of your brain that houses your sense of humor suddenly goes away; vanquished to the hidden corner of the cosmos where all the socks that mysteriously disappear in your dryer end up. Don’t believe me? Remember when comedian Dennis Miller was on Saturday Night Live and was a liberal? Yeah, he was pretty funny. Then, he converted to Republicanism and…yeah.
But wait, you say. What about folks like George Bush and Sarah Palin? They’re pretty damn funny, aren’t they? Well yes, they are, but they’re unintentionally funny. They’re unintentionally funny in the way your cousin BillyJoBob from Mississippi is unintentionally funny. It’s always—“I heard Cousin BillyJoBob fucked his sister again last night. HA HA, isn’t he hilarious?” And never—“Did you hear that clever satirical song cousin BillyJoBob wrote to the tune of ‘I Will Survive’ ripping into Obama’s new health care bill? HA HA, isn’t he hilarious?”
Same with Republicans. They’re funny ‘cause they’re doing the political equivalent of fucking their own sister, not ‘cause they have a great sense of wit and humor.
So Republicans—do yourselves a favor and stop trying to be funny! I guarantee that you’ll make your point much better minus any effort at any sort of humor. Instead, let the passion of your beliefs and your straight-forwardness carry your message. Those are your strengths. Embrace them.
Take this bake sale tomorrow, for example. I think if you simply demonstrate the sincerity behind your efforts, people will see and understand where you’re coming from. In fact, let me help you with that. I’ve found some images of the various items you’ll be selling at your sale and I think once people see these, they’ll get it and they’ll get you:
Oh, if anyone swings by the bake sale tomorrow, do me a favor and pick me up some white devils food cake. I got a craving. I’m just saying.