So the trailer for the upcoming remake of Red Dawn was released this last week. We’ve been following the long progress of this film from my fellow Offender Roger’s blog about his own Red Dawn casting experience to the announcement from the producers that the Chinese villains would be digitally altered to make them North Korean so as not to offend
the prospect of a boffo Chinese box office take the good Chinese people. So it seems only appropriate that we should take a moment to acknowledge the trailer:
So here’s what we can apparently expect from Red Dawn:
Cute (mostly) white suburban kids fighting and defeating evil Asian hordes bent on taking over America. Check!
Re-interpretations of the original 1984 version’s infamous scenes—the parachuting invading force, dad being executed in front of his sons by the evil Communists, etc… Check!
Sadistic Asian villains doing all sorts of horribly nasty things to white people (i.e. the aforementioned execution of the dad in front of his kids). Check!
A near-broke nation that can barely feed its own people successfully launching a coordinated military attack on one of the world’s biggest superpowers. Check and double check!
I’m sure in the weeks to come, Red Dawn will receive more than its share of outrage from the Asian American community so I don’t have anything new in that regard to add at this time.
But I will say this…if I do watch this film and it isn’t a hilariously over-the-top comedy based on what I saw in the trailer as outlined above, I want my money back. And the mofos who made this movie better pay for my popcorn and soda too. The super-sized versions too, none of this small shit I can finish before the previews even end.