In defense of Oneal Ron Morris, the transgendered Florida woman charged with practicing medicine without a license for injecting a concoction of cement, mineral oil and flat tire sealant into another woman’s butt – she did it to herself first.
And the results speak for themselves.
Given the staggering budonkadonk Morris is sporting, the real question is not, why would she inject toxic junk into other people’s trunks, but why wouldn’t she?
And she did it for only $700. Seven hundred bucks. You can’t buy a new washer/dryer for $700, let alone a new backside. Yes, it’s true, to keep costs down, you may have to turn to some creative protocols like performing the surgery in your own home, and using a garden hose to pump the esteem-boosting ooze into someone’s ass, but still, for seven hundred bucks? What do you spend on lattes in a month?
It took authorities a year to catch up with Morris, mostly because her victim was too embarrassed to tell doctors how she received the injuries that led to severe abdominal pain, infected sores, flu-like symptoms, multiple surgeries and the services of a 24-hour home health aide.
Cement, mineral oil and flat tire sealant.
I get the mineral oil and flat tire sealant part – one blows up the butt like a balloon, the other gives it some mass, some pliant heft, to play with, but the cement? That’s where I think Morris may have taken a wrong turn. It just doesn’t sound right, does it? Seems to me cement would make your cheeks droop and be very uncomfortable when you need to sit down.
And the sound – ka thunk – every time you take a seat? Very embarrassing. Why not mineral oil, flat tire sealant, and…. I dunno…
The stuff they make yoga matts out of?
But like Morris, I’m no doctor.
When the victim complained of excruciating pain during the procedure, Morris assured her, “Oh don’t worry, you’ll be fine. We just keep injecting you with the stuff and it all works itself out.”
C’mon, Morris, speak plainly! I don’t like all the technical talk! Just tell it to me straight! And by the way, can we assume she meant the royal “we” when describing who did the injecting? Or did she have a fake nurse at her side? Guess we will have to wait for the investigation into the “stuff” to see how everything “works itself out.”
The victim was referred to Morris by a friend – another point in Morris’ favor – word of mouth referrals usually come from satisfied customers. In any event, the law caught up with Morris when a Florida police officer spotted her black Mercedes parked in front of a house they suspected she was staying in. The article didn’t specify the year and model of the Mercedes, but I think it’s safe to say it took quite a few $700 butt injections to pay for that piece of German engineering. Again, another point in Morris’ favor – repeat and growing business.
And the greatest testimonial of all? Once again, I believe this booty speaks volumes. Lots of volumes. Like an entire library got jammed in there….