This past week, we offenders are trying out a new “flava of the week”. If you click on the icon to the right, you’ll see all the post so far. So appropriately this week’s flava is Thanksgiving. My family isn’t quite the type to celebrate holidays, let alone birthdays. So instead of sharing how our chinese family doesn’t eat turkey or yams or whatever white people eat, I’d like to instead share with you the very first time I tried pumpkin pie.

The year was 1998 and I was stationed in Great Lakes, IL (about 30 minutes north of Chicago). It’s also known as Great Mistakes. Everything in the navy has acronyms or nicknames of regret. Not sure why. Anyways, I was in “A” school studying my rate as an ET (Electronics Technician) in the navy. Most people say its comparable to studying EE in college except while you just study books in school, we actually get our hands dirty, or in my case electrocuted.

It was an intensive course spanning over a year so and there was no doubt that I’d be spending one of the winter holidays on base. Well, usually people pick either Thanksgiving or Christmas to go home. So I chose Christmas. And let me tell you, winter time in Chicago is BAD! Not bad meaning good but bad meaning BAD! So anytime you can leave Chicago was GREAT!

I spent my thanksgiving at the base McDonald’s. It was across the street from the base club and was always the central hang out spot. I’d figure being there, I might run into an old friend from bootcamp or just someone who also stayed for Thanksgiving. I remember as I sat there eating my chicken nuggets a group of evangelistic people came up to me and offered to take me to have a real Thanksgiving dinner. Of course I declined but they showed me their military ids and ensured me it wasn’t some sort of trick. A totally free Thanksgiving dinner. How could I past up something free? So, I said, why not. I’m already in the navy. What can be worst?

We arrived to this church like building and in there had a grand meal prepared. Turkey, stuffing, cranberries, the works.  I couldn’t say I’m a pro at eating turkey other than for sandwiches but this turkey was the BOMB. And when dessert came around, I said what’s this. Everyone in the room became quiet and looked up like there was an announcement being made. The man said, you don’t know what this is. I replied, no, what is it. He said, its pumpkin pie. You have to try this. and DAMN that pumpkin pie was the shit! Whoever thought you could put a pumpkin in a pie. Go figure! I was overjoyed at how my night was turning out. Here I was hours ago in a McDonalds to now in some strange place eating a traditional thanksgiving meal.

But then came the real reason to their evangelizing. They invited me to worship with them in the other room and I felt guilty if I didn’t. I hadn’t been to church in awhile since I enlisted so I thought maybe it would be ok. Suddenly music started and people were singing happily. And then five men came out from the back in dark cloaks and a loud voice came over the speakers. Funny thing was, whoever was talking wasn’t in the room. I asked, who is that talking? A guy replied, its our savior. He’s currently in jail but calls us every night to lead us. I was FREAKED outta my mind. Where the fuck was I? The cloaked men began walking around the room blasting the crowd and people were dropping like flies to the ground either in over sadness or joy. I thought to myself, why are these men in hooded cloaks? Why are they worshipping to some guy over the speakers? Why are they taking people back into another room? Why are there five cloaked men coming to surround me?

The only thing I could think of at that moment was to yell out “Thanks for the pumpkin pie”. And everyone stopped and looked at me just confused. I said it again, “Thanks for the pumpkin pie” and I jetted out of the building not even knowing where I was. I ran for a few blocks looking for a main street. There was no main street. Luckily I spotted something yellow, a cab. Every sailor is always given a yellow “Arrive Alive” card to give to any taxi cab company and you get one free ride back to base. And boy did it come in handy that Thanksgiving. Never again will I spend Thanksgiving at McDonald’s. And thats how I will always remember the first time I ever tried pumpkin pie.