As I’m sure everyone’s heard by now, the new reality show set in Koreatown (a.k.a. the Asian American Jersey Shore) began filming last weekend. Not surprisingly, a photogenic, hard-partying cast has been selected including a former meth addict and a dude who’s supposedly a gay porn star or a bisexual adult model or whatever. (I’m just disappointed there doesn’t appear to be a white guy with yellow fever since the original casting call made it open to non-Asians who dug Asian shit.)

But bringing you the type of exclusives that only YOMYOMF can, here are 10 things overheard during the filming of the K-Town reality show:

1. I’m sorry but I won’t sleep with someone until at least the fourth date. By the way, did I mention that each shot of Crown you buy me counts as a date?

2. Hey guys, when we do karaoke at the norebang, can you stick to songs written before 1910? ‘Cause we don’t have the budget to clear the rights for anything more contemporary.

3. If I lick up all the soju that accidentally spilled on your crotch, do you think people will think I’m a slut?

4. I see from your vomit that you had jajangmyeon for lunch.

5. What’s it like doing gay porn? Well, it’s the same as doing straight porn except instead of banging chicks, you’re banging guys.

6. I want to represent Koreans in a positive way. That’s why I got my eyes and boobs done before we started shooting.

7. I read on the internet that our show was a train wreck. Man, I must’ve been really wasted ‘cause I don’t even remember getting on a train.

8. I’m only doing this show as a stepping stone to my real career aspiration…becoming Nicolas Cage’s next Korean wife.

9. I bet if Mel Gibson had watched our show, he would’ve also insulted Asians during his rant.

10. We’re the Asian Jersey Shore?! Shit, I thought we were the Asian Ghost Hunters International.

 

Hwighting!