1. Your butt becomes uncomfortable in wooden chairs after about half an hour, distracting you from your stiff lower back.
2. Hangovers last three days, not one.
3. Your children need to shave.
4. You can’t read freeway signs until you’re directly under them, and you’d rather miss your exit than buy reading glasses.
5. Drinking coffee after 12 noon keeps you up at night. And when you do order a cup before noon, it’s “half caf/half decaf.”
6. Everybody – EVERYBODY – from the cute barista at Starbuck’s who wasn’t checking you out to the receptionist at your urologist’s office, calls you “sir.”
7. You have a urologist.
8. You pay your parking tickets the same day you receive them, and you’re not that angry about it.
9. You discuss mortgage rates at dinner parties, and actually have an opinion about them: fixed is better than adjustable, no question about it.
10. Good sex and good sleep are equally important to you.