You are currently browsing all entries tagged with 'Yellow Fever'

Dance Dance Evolution

  • December 4, 2011 10:17 pm

Is this what’s really happening on the dance floor, kids? And according to this diagram, there’s some yellow fever going on, especially in 1990 and 2011.

Happy Monday, everyone!

(Via Neaato)

YOMYOMF Cares: Helping Ugly White Guys With Yellow Fever Bag an Asian Chick

  • June 6, 2011 12:14 am

The other day I was enjoying lunch under the golden arches of a fine dining establishment when I overheard the white dude at the next table talking about how he was attracted to Asian women. As I’ve blogged before, I can’t blame white guys for having the yellow fever ‘cause Asian women are smokin’ hot and there’s nothing else that compares to them in the world. But unfortunately for this particular guy, he was butt ugly and that was going to be a problem.

Now, we’ve all seen ugly white men with good-looking Asian chicks before, but this guy didn’t seem like he had a penny to his name so the “sugar daddy” option was definitely out. Furthermore, he wasn’t just ugly, he was sub-ugly—the type of person who, when he looks in the mirror, hears his reflection say, “Damn, you one ugly motherfucka!” No way he was going to bag a fine Asian sista on his own. And I felt bad that he’d never get close enough to an Asian woman to inhale her delicious Strawberry Pop Tart-ed loveliness. Well, unless someone invents scratch n’ sniff porn (Note to self: invent scratch n’ sniff porn).

So since we care about all our readers at YOMYOMF, we’re going to do our part to help by launching a dating website specifically for all you ugly white guys suffering from a bad case of yellow fever.

 Read more...

How To Tell If That Non-Asian Person You’re Flirting With Is Racist

  • December 9, 2010 12:02 am

It’s the holiday season and I’m sure many of our Asian American readers are busy attending various parties and social functions. Perhaps you meet and start talking to a seemingly nice non-Asian dude or chick at one of these events, but how can you really be sure if that person sees you as a real human being and not as some Asian stereotype?

It’s hard to tell because these days, racism is subtler. But even if they aren’t dressed in a white robe and hood or ask if you will ruv them long time, there are still ways to know if that person you’re flirting with is racist by paying attention to what they say and reading between the lines. And I am here to help you do this because the holiday season is about giving and I’m all about the giving. Following is a list of things such a potentially racist person might say to you, followed by what they really mean when they say it.

Let’s start with advice for my fellow Asian brothas. Here are some things that non-Asian chick might say and what she really means when she says them:  Read more...

Where East Weds West

  • September 27, 2010 3:50 pm

Check out this New York Times story on Udon Thani, a poor farming village in Thailand where marriages between Western men and Thai women is so exclusive, it’s become an industry.

The husbands are predominately white men who are retirees and their wives are half their age. A couple of interesting observations:

- The hippie dude, who reeks of SPTM syndrome, who at the 3:12 mark, compares “Thai women to American women 50 years ago.”

- The first couple’s son, who looks like the Indonesian smoking baby.  Read more...

Ten Pick-Up Lines You Should NOT Use On Asian Guys

  • June 7, 2010 12:11 am

In my last post, I promised to give helpful advice to our non-Asian readers who want to date Asian guys. Since I am a man of my word, let’s start with 10 pick-up lines you probably shouldn’t say to an Asian guy:

1. If I have sex with you, can you help me with my Calculus homework?

2. Baby, I have the yellow fever and I think you got the cure! By that I mean I just got back from Africa and I’m showing some of the symptoms of yellow fever and you look like a doctor so I thought you might be able to help me.

3. The kung pao chicken you delivered last night had too much MSG in it.

 Read more...

Stuff You Find from 1990

  • May 14, 2010 5:02 pm

Update II: Here’s another site that has the same article. Just scroll down midway to read it.

Update: Here’s the original article that was published in 1990. Interesting reading, for sure. Found it on a message board called AZNLover.com. Yeesh.

Chi-hui Yang, the outgoing festival director of the SFIAAFF (and also, the awesomest guy on Earth and it is so sad to see him leave after 12 years for newer adventures), recently found this after cleaning up his office, an old SF Examiner from 1990 with the cover story: Asian Women, Caucasian Men — The New Demographics of Love.

 Read more...

Five Things Asian Americans Can Get Away With That White People Can’t

  • April 26, 2010 12:15 am

Being Asian in America means you have to occasionally (or depending on where you live, not so occasionally) deal with some pretty racist shit. But there are also things Asian Americans can do with more ease and success than our white counterparts. Here are five of them:

AVOID BEING THE VICTIM OF CYBERSTALKING

I’m sure this has happened to many of our readers: you’re at a party and some creepy and/or crazy guy or girl bugs you all night and won’t take no for an answer. Even though you don’t give out your phone number, email address, Facebook info, etc…, you just know Mr. or Ms. Creepers is going to go home, google you and try to track you down. Well, if you’re white, you’re shit out of luck because your name is probably so distinctive that all it takes is a basic search and bingo—you’re found! But as for most Asians…well, do you know how many John Lees there are? John Chungs? John Kims? John Wongs?

Creepers can spend hours, days, even weeks scouring the internet and still not find the right you or Yoo or Yu. Of course, there are exceptions because some Asian cultures, like the Thai, do have more distinct last names, but even then there are advantages: do you really think Creepers is going to remember your name is John Chakrabongsesongkhlasanti, let alone know how to properly spell it to conduct a google search?

 Read more...

BREAKING NEWS: Asian American Doctors Discover Cure For ‘Yellow Fever’

  • April 1, 2010 1:44 am

Three Asian American doctors announced today that they have invented a drug that will cure yellow fever–not the acute viral disease caused by mosquitoes, but the condition in which non-Asians (usually, but not limited to, white men) sexually fetishize Asians (usually, but not limited to, hot Asian women). The drug will come in the form of a blue pill (blue being the opposite of yellow on the color spectrum). The three doctors—Dr. John Ching, Dr. John Chong and Dr. Jon Chang–made the announcement at a press conference today in their hometown of Rowland Heights, California.

“Yellow fever is a serious condition that affects everyone in our society,” Ching said. “Whether you’re white, black, Asian or miscellaneous/other, there’s a strong likelihood that you or someone you know has been negatively touched by yellow fever.”

The three doctors were so committed to this pursuit that they gave up their research in other fields to focus all their attention on finding a cure for yellow fever. Ching was previously involved in cancer research, Chong in Alzheimer’s research and Chang in HIV/AIDS research. “I was about six months away from finding a cure for AIDS before I left that field,” Chang said. “Some may say I made a mistake, but I knew so many people whose lives have been devastated by yellow fever. I had to do something.”  Read more...

Chinky Or Not Chinky: I Think I Have ‘Yellow Fever’ Edition!

  • March 19, 2010 12:06 am

Yellow Fever:
Sexual obsession felt by a non-asian (Usually white, usually male) towards asians of the opposite gender. Symptoms of yellow fever include stalking, halfhearted attempts to learn Japanese/Mandarin/Cantonese/Korean and whacking off to Sailor Moon video’s.
And I should know.
–From Urbandictionary

The other day, an ex-Asian American girlfriend who currently lives up in San Francisco posted some photos from a Lunar New Year’s celebration she attended. She was dressed in a cheongsam that fit tightly around her still curvaceous and lovely body. The dress also had that slit that runs down the side to show off her long and silky smooth legs. And damn, if I wasn’t turned on! I haven’t thought about this woman in a long time, but the only thing that kept me from jumping on a plane to the Bay Area at that very moment was the fact that she has a husband and a kid now.

But it got me thinking about why these photos got me all hot and bothered. Like I said, she’s not someone I really think much about these days, yet there was something…well, I think I might just have to conclude that it was the whole cheongsam thing that made her look so fine. Which begs the question: Do I have yellow fever? And maybe even more pressing than that: Is it even possible for an Asian guy to have yellow fever?  Read more...

An Open Letter To My Beautiful Asian Sistas Dating White Guys

  • November 27, 2009 12:05 am

 

Illustration by Peter W.

Illustration by Peter W.

To My Beautiful Asian Sistas Who Are Dating White Guys:

No need to worry or get upset. This letter isn’t going to be what you think it might be considering it’s coming from an Asian American male perspective and this is a touchy subject. Let me start off by saying I have no issue with you dating white men. In fact, if you’ve kept up with my posts you’ll know that I have no problems with white dudes who have yellow fever either because, let’s face it—Asian chicks are the hottest women on the planet!  Read more...

In Defense Of “Yellow Fever”

  • August 11, 2009 12:40 am

soonyiThis just in: hell has frozen over, donkeys have learned to fly and monkeys are now shooting out of my ass. In this blog entry, I am going to defend the white man. Not only am I going to defend my mortal enemy, but I am going to do so on a controversial topic: white male-Asian female relationships. But first some background:

The latest issue of Marie Claire includes an article entitled “The New Trophy Wives: Asian Women.” The premise of the piece written by Ying Chu, whom I’m assuming is an Asian woman or a Chinese basketball player, is that many older, powerful Caucasian men like media mogul Rupert Murdoch, CBS head Les Moonves and producer Brian Grazer are turning to younger Asian women as their latest “trophy wives.” Here’s an excerpt:  Read more...