The Best Christmas Gift I Ever Got

Nope.

Nope.

And nope.

The best Christmas gift I ever got – my kids’  artwork excepted – any parent will tell you that’s an instant slam dunk…

…was a nylon shoulder bag my wife Linda bought me five years ago.

It’s just a practical ho hum object: a black bag with the “Shure” logo on it, but that simple bag revealed so much thoughtfulness that I was completely bowled over by it.

Before that bag, I used to lug my paperwork and records (not paper records – I’m talking about those 12 inch circular vinyl platters from which music magically emerges) to the bars I co-own in paper or plastic bags from the grocery store, and, invariably, they would tear and fall apart after a week or two.

1 mouth, 12 hairless peaches…

$5.99

That’s how much a 12-pack of large nectarines cost at Trader Joes.  How could I resist?  They were so red, so firm, so hard yet soft to the touch.  The thought of wrapping my hands around something so bulbous and heavenly made my heart flutter.  And, they were so big, they required at least two hands to properly handle with respect.

So, with visions of eating one plump, hairless peach everyday, I purchased the lot and scurried home.  I felt like I won the lottery.  50 cents a peach!  Such value for fine, quality fruit can only be found in the 1970′s (or the streets of Bangkok).  For the next 12 days, I would get to sink my teeth into the wet and meaty flesh of prunus persica sans the fuzz.  Sometimes fuzz is overrated, hence my love for the bald and smooth variety.  To temper my excitement and discipline my hunger, I would wait 24 hours before beginning my indulgence.  Plus, my prize was just a tad too hard for me to comfortably wrap my lips around without risking a chipped tooth.  So I waited…