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It’s Not Easy Being Spock

  • April 6, 2012 3:51 am

In high school my nickname was Spock.

In college an acquaintance once said, “Alf doesn’t shit, he deposits two odorless white pellets a month.”

And they were right.

It would take an army of Freudians to sort this one out, but for some reason, I always felt the need to project an image of inhuman perfection: unfailingly polite, perfect grades, aloof, cool, rational.  I did not yell at people, I did not get into fistfights, and when I lusted after girls, I usually pulled back the minute they showed any interest (time to call in the second army of Freudians).

Seven People Asian American Guys Can Pretend To Be In Order To Get Laid By A White Chick

  • November 21, 2009 2:19 pm

William_Hung_FollowI’m back to offer more advice to all my Asian American brothas looking to get laid by some hot white chick but having no luck. The reality is–white people can’t tell us apart anyway so why not use this fact to your advantage? Pretend to be some other more famous Asian dude. Here are some suggestions for brothas you can pass for in order to ensure you don’t spend another Saturday night home alone spanking your monkey king:

THE CHINESE DUDE WHO STEPPED IN FRONT OF THE TANKS AT TIANANMEN