Independence Day isn’t the only major national holiday this week. Today, July 7, is Tell the Truth Day. This means that you must go through the whole day without telling a single lie. That’s right—every word that comes out of your mouth must be 100% true. So in honor of this day, I thought I’d respond to some of the questions submitted by you—our readers—with complete and utter honesty. These are the questions that don’t fit into our normal mailbag format and would usually fall through the cracks so here we go…
1) Can you guys do a feature on Asian Elvis impersonators?
–Amanda
No. Unless the Asian Elvis impersonator decides to offer free sex to Chinese students as compensation for WWII Japanese war crimes, enters the masturbate-a-thon and hot dog eating contests, blows farm animals and invents a life-like Japanese robot for “scientific purposes” (i.e. you can dress it up in a lab coat and fuck it).
2) You’re always writing about Asian guys and their dicks, is it because you have a small dick? I bet it is. I bet you have a little, tiny Asian dick.
–You have a small Asian dick
Is your name really “You have a small Asian dick”? ‘Cause that is so awesome! You know what’d be even more awesome? If your last name was Mann.
