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Harv’s Metro Car Wash in Sacramento received a visit last week from two intimidating, dark-suited IRS agents demanding payment of delinquent back taxes. “They were deadly serious, very aggressive, very condescending,” Aaron Zeff, Harv’s owner, told the Sacramento Bee.
The amount that Zeff owed Uncle Sam…4 cents.
This one is for my fellow Offender Roger a.k.a. YOMYOMF’s Twilight-er.
1. Attach 1,000 leeches to my naked body and watch as they slowly and painfully suck all the blood out of my system.
2. Smash a window and slowly and painfully eat all the broken shards of glass.
3. Walk into a bar full of Neo-Nazi skinhead bikers and shout out, “Damn, I’ve never seen so many dirty, inbred white people!”
4. Walk into a bar full of militant, man-hating lesbians and shout out, “Damn, I smell rotting pie!”
5. Listen to Celine Dion’s “My Heart Will Go On” on a continuous loop for twenty-four hours and every time I try to turn it off, a chimpanzee dressed as a ‘70s-era pimp beats me with his pimp stick.
