KURLYKOLLY
A native New Yorker, Colleen, aka Kurlykolly is a loyal reader of YOMYOMF. She is also a fan of future Oscar winner, Sung Kang. Last year, she attended the LA Asian Pacific Film Festival with YOMYOMF, which was the highlight of her entire life (Colleen was one of the winners of our twitter contest). She currently resides in South Korea teaching English to little kiddies. When she is not working for “the Man”, she spends most of her time obsessing about all things Korean. Oh yeah, she is not Yellow, she is Black.
I am writing this guest blog while drinking a bottle of soju in Daegu, Korea. (I’ve just discovered it tastes great with mango juice.) A few years ago, I became obsessed with all things Korean. I’m in love with Korean food, dramas, and music. I cannot speak Korean well so I decided that I would immerse myself in the language completely and move to the “motherland.” This way I can understand So Ji Sub clearly when he confesses his love for me. One week of vacation in Seoul just wouldn’t do, so last January, I made a New Year’s resolution: move to South Korea.
After months of interviews and rejection letters (see the letter below), I left for South Korea in October to become an ESL teacher. Naturally my family was supportive. My father: “Which part of Korea? I can’t bail you out of jail in North Korea.” My mother: “You’re going to end up in a prison camp!” My sister: “God, you really want an Asian man that bad?” Yes.
Phil is not a Chink. Phil is a Gook. Phil is 100% Gook. There is no mistaking his angular facial features and his angry-looking, somewhat-slanty eyes. He can only be from the land of the Han. He even looks mean when he smiles. He’s definitely a Gook. He speaks (though rather terribly) Han Gook. He drives a car made by the Han Gook. He makes love only to the likings of the Han Gook gentlewoman (on every other Wednesday of the months beginning with the letter “J” that just happens to fall on a prime number date. all other days are reserved for porn stars or white women or the combination of both). After a 10 mile run, he quenches his thirst with soju and washes his sweat off with Hite. He is a very 
1. When they sit down for a meal at a restaurant, they will pray loud enough so that everyone in the establishment can hear. Even if they are eating alone.
