In high school my nickname was Spock.
In college an acquaintance once said, “Alf doesn’t shit, he deposits two odorless white pellets a month.”
And they were right.
It would take an army of Freudians to sort this one out, but for some reason, I always felt the need to project an image of inhuman perfection: unfailingly polite, perfect grades, aloof, cool, rational. I did not yell at people, I did not get into fistfights, and when I lusted after girls, I usually pulled back the minute they showed any interest (time to call in the second army of Freudians).
