You are currently browsing all entries tagged with 'semen'

The Perfect Holiday Gift for Those who Love Cooking with Semen

  • November 28, 2011 4:51 pm

I’ve often extolled the virtues of semen when it comes to its health benefits, but even I have to admit this is a bit too much:

Yup, it’s the Natural Harvest Cookbook, which is allegedly filled with 61-pages of semen-based recipes like this:


And this:

 Read more...

FLOUNDERING FILM FLUNKEE fixates over the hot extra!

  • October 27, 2011 1:19 am

You’re watching some random movie in your Netflix queue when you discover that one of the main actors/actresses is super bangin’. Most people just get aroused and let it be.

 

I’m not most people. As a film fanatic and professional pervert, I promptly head to my computer to look the movie up on IMDb.

There, I can find the character name, then the person who played them before proceeding to Google their name for any naked pictures of them. Then, well, I go to my happy place. It has lot of rainbows — OF SEMEN. I should probably get that checked.  Read more...

What I Learned on YOMYOMF This Week – August 15 – 21, 2010

  • August 22, 2010 10:04 am

You know what is fantastic?  Korean BBQ.  I can’t write about it for the rest of the year, but it’s pretty awesome.  That’s where my family and I ate this week, in case you were wondering.  It’s, like, 14 bucks for lunch.  All we ordered was beef brisket and our hands stuffed all our faces full of dead animal in sesame sauce and that one brown sauce that I think is soy sauce but probably isn’t – it was wonderful!

You know what isn’t wonderful?  Running afterwards without showering first.  I mean, everyone who’s ever been to these joints knows how deeply that smell sinks into your skin.  What was just earlier such a welcome scent becomes totally objectionable.

Well, the way I saw it, if I was smelly already, I might as well run and sweat and get smellier before taking a right shower.  So I ran my fist-sized heart out and found out the hard way that running in that stove of a garage, I was pretty much like a smoked piece of meat getting baked.  Instead of smelling like just sweat, I started to smell even more like Korean BBQ.

Long story short: don’t run when you smell like Korean BBQ.

Well, I guess there’s a lot of things you shouldn’t do when you smell like Korean BBQ.

Maybe I should write about that.

Oh yeah, so don’t forget, dearest readers: you now have until the 15th of September to enter into our Interpretations short film contest.  So get off your tushes and get filming!  But first, sit your tush back down again and read my new interview with Dan Lin, producer and executive producer of such films as Sherlock Holmes and Terminator Salvation.

Done?  Okay, keep sitting and read the rest of this article.

This week in August, our ragtag team probes matters of dick sucking, chick flick sex, and herpes.  Bet you never want to see those three things together.  Again.  Read more...

When Did I Become “The Semen In The Water” Go-To Guy?

  • August 20, 2010 12:01 am

Earlier this week, the story broke about this 31-year-old Asian dude named Michael Kevin Lallana of Orange County, CA, who was accused of ejaculating his semen into a female co-worker’s water bottle—not once, but (at least) twice. The woman got sick after drinking the water, sent it to a lab to get it tested and the semen was discovered which they matched to Lallana’s DNA.

OK, the story is a little disgusting and this Lallana guy obviously has issues, but otherwise, I didn’t really pay much attention to this news. But then a curious thing began to happen. I started getting emails from friends that went something like this:

Yo, I bet you’re already writing a blog about that Asian guy who put his semen into his co-worker’s water bottle. Damn, that is some wild shit! I can’t wait to see what you have to say about it. I bet it’ll be crazier than the actual story itself. Peace!

People I know occasionally send me links and ideas for potential blog topics so I ignored the first couple of emails that I received like the one above. But then they kept coming—all day and en masse. And that’s when the reality hit me…I think I’ve become the Asian American go-to blogger for any and all things related to “perverted” Asian sex. An Asian dude shoots his load into a woman’s water bottle and, of course, I’m expected to blog about it.

So how did this happen?  Read more...

Things I Learned From Japanese Porn Stars In 2009

  • December 28, 2009 1:33 am

We’ve written our fair share about the Japanese and their freakishness sex (see examples here and here) so I thought I’d keep in the spirit of this tradition by sharing a few things I learned this past year from a couple of new Japanese porn star friends:  Read more...

Why It Would Suck To Be Superman

  • December 6, 2009 11:45 pm

yomyomf_weeksuperman1

The recent news that Warner Brothers is putting any future Superman movies on hold has fanboys (and girls) speculating on what might have led to the franchise’s journey into limbo. A popular theory is that it’s too hard to come up with a viable Superman story in this day and age because the guy is too perfect and we demand imperfection from our heroes. Supes has every imaginable power from the ability to fly to incredible strength and it’s hard to relate to a character who is so…well, super. But I think that’s actually what’s so appealing about the character. He’s our collective fantasy of what we all would like to be. Who wouldn’t want to be able to do all the things the Man of Steel can do? There’s no apparent downside. Well, I’m going on the record to state that I would never want to be Superman for one simple reason: you could never have sex. Ever!  Read more...