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Bashful Japanese Schoolgirl Shoots Machine Gun Out of her Ass

  • July 20, 2011 12:01 am

The title about says it all. I think the following scene is from a Japanese project entitled Hajirai Machine Girl—a sort of companion piece featurette to The Machine Girl (which I wrote about here)—by far, the best Japanese schoolgirl with a machine gun for an arm revenge story ever!

In this clip, I believe the titular schoolgirl was killed but somehow came back from the dead to take revenge on those who wronged her but she’s also very bashful and whenever she gets embarrassed a machine gun pops out of her ass and…fuck it, it’s Japanese, that’s all you need to know. So for your Hump Day viewing pleasure:

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The Japanese Aren’t as Weird as We Think? Say It Ain’t So!

  • February 1, 2011 12:01 am

If you spend as much time online as I do, you most likely saw a recent story out of Japan about a 49-year-old man who was arrested for selling hentai don (a dish made with egg-rice) that had a special secret ingredient: stolen girls’ gym shoes and clothes. According to one such news report:

“On top I add finely diced used school swimwear and gym shorts and sold them to familiar customers,” he said in testimony.

The man also confessed to having stolen the eggs for them from a hen-breeding program in the same school.

The dish, devised in the summer of 2010, was ranked on an Internet gourmet website, from which the man was eventually tracked down.

Asked about his motives, the man said: “I looked at the rankings of perverts on a website and wanted to do something to raise people’s eyebrows. I thought it would be good to be caught doing something like a yokozuna.”

He has since been taken for psychiatric examination.

The only problem is this story turned out to be completely fake. It appeared as a joke in a Japanese newspaper that’s the Eastern equivalent of the satirical and very fake The Onion, but many Western outlets picked it up and distributed it as a real piece of news.  Read more...

Thief Caught ‘Fishing’ for Underwear (and yes, he’s Japanese)

  • November 4, 2010 12:01 am

According to this news report, an unidentified 54-year-old man in Kobe, Japan, was arrested after he tried to use his fishing pole to snag a 21-year-old woman’s underwear, which was hanging out to dry on her second floor veranda. There are so many snarky things I can say about this story—I mean the “pole” metaphor alone can fill several posts, but I’ll refrain. Why? ‘Cause I feel sorry for the guy.

I know there’s a lot here that’s pathetic and funny. A guy walks by a house and sees some underwear hanging on the clothesline and steals it—OK, that I can sort of give a pass to. But this guy decided that he wanted the underwear so badly that he went home, grabbed his fishing pole and decided it was a good idea to try to hook some bras and panties like a trout. And it’s not like the perp was some 12-year-old kid, this was a grown 54-year-old man!

But here’s why I kind of feel bad for the dude. Obviously, women’s underwear fetishes aren’t unique to Japan, but the Japanese have probably embraced this lifestyle more completely than anyone else. Who else would have vending machines where you can buy new and used women’s underwear?

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Chinky Or Not Chinky: I Think I Have ‘Yellow Fever’ Edition!

  • March 19, 2010 12:06 am

Yellow Fever:
Sexual obsession felt by a non-asian (Usually white, usually male) towards asians of the opposite gender. Symptoms of yellow fever include stalking, halfhearted attempts to learn Japanese/Mandarin/Cantonese/Korean and whacking off to Sailor Moon video’s.
And I should know.
–From Urbandictionary

The other day, an ex-Asian American girlfriend who currently lives up in San Francisco posted some photos from a Lunar New Year’s celebration she attended. She was dressed in a cheongsam that fit tightly around her still curvaceous and lovely body. The dress also had that slit that runs down the side to show off her long and silky smooth legs. And damn, if I wasn’t turned on! I haven’t thought about this woman in a long time, but the only thing that kept me from jumping on a plane to the Bay Area at that very moment was the fact that she has a husband and a kid now.

But it got me thinking about why these photos got me all hot and bothered. Like I said, she’s not someone I really think much about these days, yet there was something…well, I think I might just have to conclude that it was the whole cheongsam thing that made her look so fine. Which begs the question: Do I have yellow fever? And maybe even more pressing than that: Is it even possible for an Asian guy to have yellow fever?  Read more...