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What better way to commemorate this special day than by revisiting an oldie but goodie—a few years ago Detroit police officer Edward Sanchez took home some marijuana that he had confiscated and decided to bake them into some brownies.
Well, the brownies turned out be stronger than Officer Sanchez had anticipated, leading to this classic 911 call where Sanchez told the operator such gems as:
Check out the full audio of the call below and then join me for some Twinkies and pizza.
Turns out my classmates weren’t completely off base when they voted me “Most Likely to Grow up to Become a Career Pimp.”
It was another sunny and beautiful Los Angeles morning on this particular day last week. I was returning from a brisk ten mile eight mile five mile long run when I noticed a police car parked in front of my house. At first, I didn’t think much of it because I am, of course, a completely law abiding citizen, ergo, there was no way the police could be there to see me. I mean I used the word “ergo” in a sentence for Christsakes and people who commit crimes do not use words like “ergo.”
But as my feet carried me closer to my abode, there was no denying the cops were waiting for me. There were two police officers standing outside the house I am currently renting out to a flock herd gaggle of international models (to read about how this happened, click here).
Fans of the Little League World Series know that this year Japan beat Hawaii to end the U.S.’ five-year winning streak. But any way you look at it, with the teams from Japan and Hawaii (and Taiwan who played Japan before the Hawaii game) in contention, that’s a lot of Asian faces. So maybe it was inevitable that a mini-controversy would erupt when Bruce Springsteen’s “Born In The U.S.A.” prominently blared from the speakers between innings during the championship game.
So why is this such a big deal? Well, if you actually listen carefully to the Boss’ lyrics, this is what you’ll hear:
Born down in a dead man’s town,
the first kick I took was when I hit the ground,
you end up like a dog that’s been beat too much,
till you spend half your life just covering up.
I got in a little hometown jam,
so they put a rifle in my hands,
sent me off to a foreign land,
to go and kill the yellow man.
Just because you still feel healthy, your memory isn’t shot to shit and you don’t go to the restroom 20 times each night, doesn’t mean you’re not getting old. Here are 6 signs that might mean you’re already over the hill and should just resign yourself to no longer avoiding things like this.
1) WORDS HAVE DIFFERENT MEANINGS THEN THEY USED TO WHEN YOU WERE YOUNGER
Back in my day, a “droid” referred to gay robots that lived in outer space, not a technologically advanced smartphone (how the fuck can a phone be smart anyway? It’s a machine!). “Face Book” was the title of a porno about a sexy librarian’s erotic adventures, not a social networking site that’s the biggest time-waster since the invention of masturbation. “The situation” referred to a problem you had to deal with, not a reality show-starring douchebag. (The) “Paris Hilton” was someplace that would beckon you to come inside when you were looking to get away for a fun time, not, well…OK, that one’s still the same. But my point still stands–stop confusing us! Quit recycling old words and come up with new ones.
A video from our Japanese friends to help you get through a lazy Sunday. May the force be with you!
My fellow Offender Alfredo reminded me in his last post of how hot Debbie Harry is. And that made me think of the time I saw her live at a small Los Angeles club called Madame Wong’s West which I can pinpoint as the night I entered puberty (more on this later). But I would not have had that experience if it were not for Esther Wong a.k.a. the “Godmother of Punk.”
Born in Shanghai in 1917, Wong immigrated to the United States in 1949. In the 1970s and ‘80s, she owned two restaurants/clubs—Madame Wong’s in L.A.’s Chinatown and Madame Wong’s West in Santa Monica—that became the beacon for some of the greatest punk and rock n’ roll bands of the era.
