You’re a Wonder, Wonder Woman

This picture of Lynda Carter aka the one and only true Wonder Woman has been making the rounds on the interwebs:

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Wonder Woman in a Shakey’s Philippines t-shirt? I can’t think of anything else that would’ve brought such joy to my 12-year-old loins heart.

Ok, maybe this comes a very close second:

The Pizza/Fried Chicken Hybrid You Never Knew You Wanted is Here (If You Live in the Philippines)

Meet KFC’s Chizza—which is basically a pizza with a crust made out of fried chicken instead of bread:

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This new creation is only available at KFC locations in the Philippines and the reaction seems to be mostly positive, once again giving credence to my theory that Asia gets the best most interesting fast food. Here’s an ad for the Chizza:

Romantic Valentine’s Haikus for Free

INFATUATIONI’m sure some of our readers are freaking out right now because they have yet to find the perfect Valentine’s gift for their significant others. Well, I’m here to help. Below are some top notch, high quality romantic haikus that I am giving you permission to use as your own for FREE. What better way to express your love than with a beautiful haiku from the heart that you didn’t write but can falsely claim as your own? And the best part is they are FREE ‘cause I’m that kind of guy. And you’re welcome.

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Our love is as deep
As a large deep dish pizza
Chicago style, yo!

Your sweet divine voice
Like a songbird in spring
How ‘bout a blow job?

Around the Horn: Simple Genius

Thanks to Wikimedia Commons for the close up shot. I ate the pizza too quickly to shoot it.

Thanks to Wikimedia Commons for the close up shot. I ate the pizza too quickly to shoot it.

Last month I went to New Haven, CT with my husband who was raving about the pizza. It’s been many years but he had been dreaming of going back specifically to enjoy the white clam pizza from Frank Pepe’s – a local joint that has been much lauded for being the best pizza in America (out of the top 101).  He had built up so much anticipation that I was expecting to be slightly underwhelmed. But I gotta say, the first bite was a spiritual experience for me.  The pizza was perfectly charred, crisp on the bottom with a bit of chew to the dough.  The cheese was brimming with briny puddles of clams that packed an umami punch and miraculously did not make the crust soggy.  Seasoned with touches of fresh garlic and oregano, this pizza was so simple, so pure and satisfying.   The pies are wonderfully rustic and oblong, fitting perfectly on an industrial aluminum cookie sheet the size of 24”  flat screen tv.  And, I ended up eating half of that flat screen tv.

I Want to Go to There: Chinese Pizza Edition

So saw the following pic over at Boing Boing:

It was taken by photojournalist John Lehmann at a Pizza Hut somewhere in China. And what is it exactly? “A hotdog encrusted shrimp tempura pizza with mayonnaise”.

The loud thump you just heard was the sound of me falling off my chair. I’m not saying if we had access to such a food product here in the U.S. that I’d eat this all the time or really even eat it at all (Oh, note to Pizza Hut: damn you for not offering this here!). But knowing that such a glorious invention even exists…well, this truly is a wonderful world.

The Purity Bear Returns to Stop You From Getting Laid (and She’s Black and Sassy)

Yesterday may have been Valentine’s Day to most, but it was also the Day of Purity—the time when virginal teens vow to be true to God and not have sex until marriage. And to make sure youths do not stray from the right path, you may remember this video featuring the purity bear and his strong message of abstinence to show them the way.

Well, the purity bear is back, but this time he it she has apparently morphed into a sassy black female bear.

Check out the video below and heed the bear’s all-important message: when guys tell girls they love them, remember that guys also love pizza and they’ll dump you just like they dump the pizza box after they’re done with it! Preach it, girl bear!

http://youtu.be/WB1G8YF-B4Y

FORGET EVERYTHING YOU KNOW (ABOUT PIZZA) or The Secrets of Soul Man, CPK and the Genesis of Benihana

FADE IN

INT. OFFICE — DAY

Not being white has helped Norith achieve a youthful glow. For now. As he sits at his desk, facing a screenplay on his desktop that stares back like a fucking vampire that wants not just his blood, but his soul, DNA and spinal cord.

The screenwriting business weighs on this man, if you can call him that. But today is no different than any day. He writes like a Chinese boy working a double shift. Typing endlessly. Maybe pointlessly.

Then the typing stops. His eyes wander toward his Safari page, which he clicks. Checking his Yahoo email box. Empty.

Now, he checks his other empty email box. Empty.

There is nothing going in sports in June. Damn.

                               NORITH
     Probably better for the whole fucking country.
     If there’s lockout, people will probably start reading
     again.

Then, he dares to check his Facebook page. From the look of his page, and measly 206 friends, he is not one to post his thoughts or feelings for the public. So why Facebook?

What I Learned on YOMYOMF This Week – June 6-12, 2010

Bonjourno, mes amis! It’s funny there was this guy earlier this week who was so intent on correcting me about my perfect French. Fuck you, guy. If there’s two things in the world my cold heart can love, it’s ignorance. Oh, and irony. Right, that would make two.

Family is a funny thing. It is said they often know best because, well, they do see you the most out of anyone. And you do share the same blood. I don’t mean what Angelina Jolie and her brother used to do either.

now that's what i call brotherly sexual attraction. it works better as 'love.'

Then why did my mother suggest a psychiatrist to me?

Hahaha!

I don’t know why I’m laughing!

In this most definitely sane week at YOMYOMF, we tackle the culinary value of cats; the irresistible influence of Paul Newman; and compensation copulation.

You’re gonna wanna read about the compensation copulation.

She said, “Come on in!”

Six Signs You’re Getting Old

Just because you still feel healthy, your memory isn’t shot to shit and you don’t go to the restroom 20 times each night, doesn’t mean you’re not getting old. Here are 6 signs that might mean you’re already over the hill and should just resign yourself to no longer avoiding things like this

1) WORDS HAVE DIFFERENT MEANINGS THEN THEY USED TO WHEN YOU WERE YOUNGER

Back in my day, a “droid” referred to gay robots that lived in outer space, not a technologically advanced smartphone (how the fuck can a phone be smart anyway? It’s a machine!). “Face Book” was the title of a porno about a sexy librarian’s erotic adventures, not a social networking site that’s the biggest time-waster since the invention of masturbation. “The situation” referred to a problem you had to deal with, not a reality show-starring douchebag. (The) “Paris Hilton” was someplace that would beckon you to come inside when you were looking to get away for a fun time, not, well…OK, that one’s still the same. But my point still stands–stop confusing us! Quit recycling old words and come up with new ones.

Say ‘I Love You’ With A Heart-Shaped Pizza

If you’ve always thought that the perfect Valentine’s Day gift for your special someone would be a pizza in the shape of a heart, Domino’s Pizza in Japan is way ahead of you and will be serving its heart-shaped “Happy Valentine Pizza.”

But this isn’t the first time a pizza chain is offering such romantic fare. If you remember in 2009 (or maybe not since the promotion was a bust), the Papa John’s chain offered customers their own “Heart-Shaped Pizza” for Valentine’s Day. As I said, it didn’t sell too well so I doubt we’ll be seeing it again this year.