While fellow offender Phil’s working on his Judgment Day booty call list , I am also thinking about how to spend my last moments of existence before the apocalypse descends. It’s pretty clear that despite being a good girl most of my life, I’ve been a theocratic slut keeping company with Atheists, Buddhists, Hindus, Muslims, and all variety of hardcore non-believers who like me, won’t be getting past the velvet rope to heaven. So naturally, these last few hours would be best devoted to doing the thing that has made my life worth living and that’s eating. If I could have my version of the last supper, I’d have a mile long table with family, friends and some celebrity guests including masters of ceremonies Tina Fey, John Stewart, and Anthony Bourdain to keep the atmosphere upbeat. Jonathan Gold will help curate the menu and tell us what we’re eating. We’d have a massive multicourse meal and eat until the ground breaks wide open and consumes us. All you yomyomf offenders, readers, and heathens are invited. As I only have a few hours, logistically I’ll have to pull this off in LA but lucky for me, LA has lots of good ‘last meal’ choices. Lots of gut-busting soulful stuff that will keep us happily filled up as we wait for the hellfire to engulf us. Any suggestions welcome.
