You are currently browsing all entries tagged with 'Nintendo'

What are some fantasy/fictional worlds that you like?  

  • May 7, 2012 9:50 pm

And what are some intriguing societies that you may not like, but find very interesting?

I love fairy tales.  I don’t actually want to live inside one, though, since they seem a little superficial and there are probably a bazillion mosquitos wandering the woods.

Re: societies, I’m interested in Kowloon Walled City (in Hong Kong, demolished in 1993-94).  According to a 1987 survey, 33,000 people populated 6.5 square acres (.01 square miles).  This translates to a population density of 3,249,000 people per square mile.  WHAT????

Residents living in lower floors of the city received no sunlight.

 Read more...

Finally – a video game with Pokémon and Oda Nobunaga!!

  • January 23, 2012 12:00 am

In hindsight, I suppose this isn’t the most jarring of fits. After all, Pokémon is as much a part of Japanese history as “the initiator of the unification of Japan under the shogunate in the late 16th century” (thank you for being back up again, Wikipedia!).

And though this game could probably be seen as another vindication of the belief that originality is now impossible, I’m more focused on the fact that Pokémon Plus Nobunaga’s Ambition is the latest of the country’s efforts to hide their secret past from the world, a secret past full of tamed majestic creatures.

Certainly now, you must think of me as the token raving lunatic amongst the Offenders and yet I beg you to take another moment to reconsider.

My assertion about the game, I mean, not my being a lunatic because – let’s face facts – I’m a little off.  Read more...

A different kind of muscle memory.

  • December 19, 2011 12:00 am

Riding a bike. Playing an instrument. Cooking food. Do these things enough time and performing them becomes second nature.

Thinking is no longer involved – it becomes pure instinct. In other words: muscle memory.

What I found out this weekend is that my strongest instance of muscle memory has to do with none of those. The one thing I’ll know how to do with eyes closed till the day I die is play Super Mario 64.

Not that Nintendo DS port bullshit. Not that 3DS crap either. I’m talking about some good ol’ OG Nintendo 64 Mario with the awkward-as-fuck looking controller.  Read more...

I Covered My Wall With Pokémon Cards.

  • July 28, 2011 1:08 am

Some of you probably read my blogs and think, “There’s no way this guy is that socially inept or weird or geeky.”  And while my lawyer won’t permit me to show any photographs of the bodies for legal reasons, she is allowing me to post a different bit of proof here instead.

Yes, those are Pokémon cards and yes, I made a wall out of them.

I’d tell you that it was out of pure love for the franchise that I did this, but part of it was that I have OCD and once the idea entered my brain, acting the desire out was the only way to purge it from my system.

How did I have enough cards to carry this out?  Well, truthfully, I had more than enough.  I have more than enough to cover that wall thrice over and then do your house too.

This is because, unsurprisingly, I was pretty obsessed with the Pokémon trading card game.

I spent an embarrassing amount of money on those cards (and other Pokémon merch, of course), more than I’d care to admit even to myself.  I still remember being coaxed into selling them when they were still worth a pretty penny.

Did you know one of those cards – a First Edition Charizard from the Basic Set – used to be worth $120?  Read more...

R.I.P. My Interest in Video Games.

  • June 6, 2011 12:00 am

The first video game I ever played I can no longer remember with absolute certainty.  It was one of the following two: Super Mario Bros. or Duck Hunt.  I was probably four and I was more than likely at some family party, the house of one of my father’s friends.

The only detail my memory has not failed me on is regarding the feeling I had leaving that get-together: the overwhelming, all-consuming desire to get a console of my own.  It took about a year and a system generation later, but I eventually received a Super Nintendo from Santa.

That’s when it began.  Fast forward nearly two decades and now it’s all over.

I always told myself it would never happen, always prided myself on my youthful interior.  But here I am now in my twenties, proving my younger self wrong.  Read more...

WHAT I LEARNED ON YOMYOMF THIS WEEK – MAY 7 – 13, 2011

  • May 14, 2011 12:00 am

What I Learned on YOMYOMF This Week is a capsule of the week’s blogs with sarcastic commentary from Yours Truly (that’s me!).  If you’ve been busy and missed out on a couple of our daily gems, this is a perfect way to catch up.

But seriously – what was more important than reading YOMYOMF?

This week, you’ve got a chance to read about how a nice rack can make your tea better; remote french kissing; and shitting vagrants.

My thoughts?  You should take that chance.

JOB OPENING: VIRGINS WITH BIG BREASTS NEEDED TO PICK TEA IN CHINA:

“If you’re a virgin, possess at least C-Cup sized breasts and you’re looking for work, well, you are in luck. All you need to do is relocate to Henan, China, where the Henan Gushi Xijiuhua Scenic Mountain Development is looking for someone like you to work picking tea leaves.”

There are plenty of virgins with C-Cups to be found everywhere in these parts – this may be the first time they get lucky!

 Read more...

I Think I Have OCD but I’m Not Sure.

  • February 8, 2011 12:00 am

Now while that sounds like it would be a pretty good song, it is also, unfortunately, the story of my life.  Well, there’s also the working title “It Can’t Possibly Get Worse – Oh, Wait – There It Is,” but test audiences found that one way too broad.

I never had myself diagnosed for Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder because I like the idea that – on paper at least – I was a wild card. Maybe I have it, maybe I don’t.  I mean, I couldn’t possibly be the only person who turns door knobs with his arms because he doesn’t want to touch them with his hands.  And don’t tell me you’ve never made the sign of the cross every time you enter and exit the freeway or walk through a doorway or go up or down a pair of steps because that’s bullshit.  It’s as normal as kicking dogs for good luck.

I really didn't expect to find a photo this apropos.

The notion of possibly having this disorder struck me again of late when I realized my hands were becoming increasingly dry in spite of fast improving lotion habits.  I would like to take the high ground here and avoid a joke about masturbation – whether it be regarding lubrication or dryness from friction – but I also realize that by doing so I have already planted the idea in your mind, making it totally possible for me to have my cake and eat it too, so in your face, Classy Police.

 Read more...

Being in a Gym is Weird for Me.

  • January 25, 2011 12:00 am

Because I am vain, I admit to working out part of the time each day. Let’s not beat around the bush: I was the fat kid who talked his way out of physical education by giving the coach tips on how to beat the latest Nintendo 64 Star Wars game.

At some point in my life, I realized that knowing the most effective way to beat Boba Fett was not gonna help me lose weight and I haven’t looked back ever since.  I’ve done most of my working out at home, always fueled by that pudgy specter of my past standing in the corner, out of breath with the stretched Pikachu shirt.

As part of my New Year’s Resolution, I finally stopped being such a hermit and started trying out one of my local gyms.  If you’d like to stop reading now, here’s is a Cliff’s Notes version of what happened:

Exactly like that, but not really, you lazy twat.  For those of you who are sticking with me (and why shouldn’t you?  I mean, it’s not like you’ve got anything better to do), this was like that part of the Hero’s Journey where he goes from the known to the unknown, the known in my case being the creation of ass-indents into furniture and the unknown being any sort of strenuous activity to speak of.  Read more...

What I Learned on YOMYOMF This Week – September 12 – 18, 2010

  • September 18, 2010 6:56 pm

I know, I know: when you read this column, it usually opens up with me bitching or complaining about something.  Well, let me save you the suspense and tell you now that this week’s content will be prefaced by a good ol’ round of complaining.  And I know that ‘bitching’ and ‘complaining’ are synonyms – I’m just being cheeky.

This week, I snuck in a morning show of The Town with my dear ol’ dad.  Seeing as this was, as I’ve said, a morning show. I figured we would run into a near empty theater.  I mean, we’re not talking about Inception.

To my genuine surprise, this first showing of the day was packed.  P-A-C-K-E-D, PACKED!  And with old people!  And just so that we’re on the same page, when I say ‘old people,’ I mean it looked like it was a nursing home field trip.

googled 'happy old people.'

So there we were, my pop and I, watching Don Draper kick some fucking ass when I start hearing a voice in my head.  Except it wasn’t one of the usual six.  No, this was an elderly female voice and she was very aptly warning me and the people around her when the movie was getting suspenseful by saying, “Uh-oh!” and “Watch out!” every time the music started to swell.

She also did a capable job of narrating everything that was going on onscreen.

So awesome.  And that was my friday.  Random note: watched Serenity for the first time and it was bloody fantastic.

This week in September, your favorite bloggers travel to the deep recesses of experience and write about cleaning belly buttons; the consequences of technology; and sex, Sesame Street-style.  Blame Phil for that last one.  I mean, really blame him.  Read more...

More Japanese Freakishness

  • November 24, 2009 6:27 pm

Regular readers of this blog know I often post items about how the Japanese are freaks. I was going to ease off on our Japanese friends for awhile but how can I resist when I see things like this:

YouTube Preview Image