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The 33 Strategies of Sports: The Intelligence Strategy

  • February 29, 2012 12:01 am

The days you get your ass kicked, it’s usually not because of the situation, the person or organization you are facing – it’s because of your lack of preparation and attention. If you’re humiliated in a job interview, it’s because you didn’t know enough about the company’s philosophy. If you’re on a date and suddenly become an asshole, it’s because you’re not paying enough attention to the person sitting opposite you. In either case, you have become trapped in your own narcissism.

The greatest weapon is never more money or manpower, it’s the ability to read the mind of the man or woman you are facing. If you can read minds, you can literally accomplish anything. This is what the government calls “intelligence”. They never send agents out without having “Intel” brief them on their mission – like in a 007 movie.

In sports, when a favored opponent loses to a weaker one, they call it an “upset”. And if you’re into sports, the bigger the upset, the more thrilling the experience (unless you were cheering for the team that lost). Because, there is nothing like a good ass kicking that mirrors real life more accurately. Welcome Back to “The 33 Strategies of Sports”, a concoction of Robert Greene’s “33 Strategies of War” and sports history.

Around the Horn: special fantasy basketball JLin17 vs. Kobe edition

  • February 10, 2012 9:37 pm

I’ve been getting a lot of requests since the Bill Simmons article to share more about what we do in our fantasy league.  Besides intense daily player movements and watching Sal “the machine” chase after us like the Terminator, we usually do a lot of trashing talking on our message board. Today, however, we stopped hatin’ on each other to unify and stand against the one self proclaimed Black Mamba– Kobe Bryant. Sure he’s an easy target, but anyone who gives themselves a nickname should never go unscathed. Plus, is this how a superstar should act?  You judge for yourself. It all started with a little note from Lou in the morning.

LOU: Hello fantasy basketball family,
Thought I’d start off your mornings with this one. Haha

This clip confirms my love/hate relationship with Kobe. Haha

Best day of the year

  • December 22, 2011 3:12 pm

Barring birth of a child or a White House visit, this is my favorite event every year (and no it’s not red carpet premieres or globetrotting around the world scouting locations).  It’s fantasy basketball draft– by far.

Yes, that's a microphone for each team to announce their draft selection.

This year was no different.  While I’d love to continue sharing with you what this world is all about via this blog , I think it is better if it’s done by someone who is the best in the business– Bill Simmons.

Please read his blog here and then come back for the visual tour, courtesy of Offender Jerome.

The 33 Strategies of Sports (Part 2)

  • May 2, 2011 2:19 pm

Last week, I covered “The Polarity Strategy” which teaches us that having an enemy, or a polar opposite, is good for you. One of the joys of watching sports comes from the natural need to root for or against something. Without an enemy, you have no identity. With an enemy, you gain focus and clarity.

Enemies are sometimes your friends or relatives. Michael Jordan always made friends with his enemies. He was seen at dinners with referees. He disarmed vicious opponents like Patrick Ewing and Charles Barkley by becoming really close friends with them. They had no idea this was part of Jordan’s strategy. Jordan even recruited his enemies on his team, like Dennis Rodman and later Byron Russell.

Today, Kobe Bryant uses this exact same technique to neutralize his enemies, recruiting Ron Artest, Matt Barnes and Raja Bell, three of his biggest nemesis (Bell once clotheslined Kobe during a playoff game).

Artest and Barnes are now his teammates with the Los Angeles Lakers. Magic Johnson and Isiah Thomas once famously kissed before tip off (they were boyhood friends in Michigan). Seconds later, Magic delivered a deadly clothesline as Isiah drove to the basket. Magic and Isiah understood the dynamics between friend and foe. Barkley and Ewing did not. They both failed to win championships, unlike Magic and Isiah.

The NBA and NFL: A Greek Tragedy

  • December 23, 2010 12:30 am

The army finally eliminated “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” last week, which means soldiers can be openly gay and serve their country. The whole concept was symbolic of every facet of society, especially the areas that are exposed to the public like entertainment. Oprah recently spoke about not being a lesbian in one of her recent shows, which does nothing to eliminate images in my mind of Oprah eating pussy.

The entertainment industry is caked with homosexuals — I know, I’ve been ass deep in it for years now. But like I said, every area that is exposed to the public must pretend like it isn’t. Politics is another one. Every guy running for office has that bizarre 50′s look and his wife has that dyke-y hair cut and the kids look like they’re going to be five times as fucked up when they grow up. Every chick running for office looks more masculine than the guys they run against. They have to project this illusive family image. Kirby Dick recently made a fascinating documentary, “Outrage” about how Washington D.C. is gayer than San Francisco. And most of them vote against gay rights to protect their image.

But that is what’s cool about the elimination of “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell”. Now, there will be a trickle down effect to the rest of the media. Like sports.

Kung Fu Kobe

  • February 3, 2010 2:53 am

I don’t like Kobe. I think he’s a punk. I don’t care if he’s a great player, a clutch player, whatever. Can’t stand him. Jussayin’. So when I saw these posters on Hypebeast, I had to giggle. He looks absolutely ridiculous. Of course it’s all for his newest signature shoe, the Nike Zoom Kobe V, which is totally dedicated to Bruce Lee (the colorway matches the yellow and black jumpsuit that Bruce Lee wears in The Game of Death, and details like the claw marks are from Enter The Dragon). I’m just going to wait for the Kobe lovers to chime in. But guys, look at these posters. Corny! Kobe is no Bruce Lee. And Bruce Lee never wore Nikes.