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YOMYOMF at Sundance: Snow Day, Joseph Gordon-Levitt and Foodie Heaven

  • January 27, 2012 1:35 am

Yesterday was a fun-filled day here at Sundance. The big event was our friend/colleague Joseph Gordon-Levitt’s Hit Record at the Movies. I attended with my fellow Offenders Justin, Anderson, Elaine and indie film guru John Sloss. Anderson already posted the live video stream of the event (click here). Justin took part when Joseph invited him to help shoot a scene from Mark Twain’s Tom Sawyer featuring Joseph and “indie queen” Parker Posey (who still is hot, BTW) live on stage for an upcoming short video. Will be curious to see how that comes together and, of course, we’ll post the finished video on YOMYOMF when it’s done.

That's Justin with his back to us.

Joseph really made sure there was plenty of audience interaction by doing everything from bringing up people who wanted to sing for a future project and answering interesting tweets (Best line of the night from Joseph during one of the conversations with an audience tweeter: “A hipster is someone who dresses up like an artist, but who doesn’t make shit.”).  Read more...

YOMYOMF at Sundance: hitRECord

  • January 27, 2012 12:19 am

YOMYOMF attended Joseph Gordon-Levitt’s multimedia live event hitRECord tonight at the Sundance Film Festival. Offender Justin was also part of the event, which was hosted by Gordon-Levitt and some help from the “queen of indies,” Parker Posey. Not knowing what hitRECORD was, I was introduced to a very cool project — an open collaborative production company, where people can submit video, writings, songs, drawings, and have them culled together into short films.

Tonight’s hitRECord event at Sundance was held at the Eccles Theatre, and there were literally 1,200 screaming fans. It was full of energy and Levitt was an affable host that would at times, make girls swoon. There was lots of audience participation as well, and using social media and recording was encouraged.  Read more...

Cancer, maybe.

  • October 17, 2011 6:11 am

It’s like Love Actually but a lot more depressing. And with more cancer.

So yeah – maybe I have cancer. Which, on the heels of everything else, shouldn’t be that surprising. You just have to laugh at this sort of thing. Laugh very, very bitterly.

You know what? It’s actually more like 50/50, except that I’m nowhere near as good-looking as Joseph Gordon-Levitt.

But no, seriously – it’s a bummer.  Read more...

How to Survive if You’re a Criminal in Gotham City

  • April 26, 2011 12:01 am

So last week, Warner Bros. officially confirmed that Marion Cotillard and Joseph Gordon-Levitt are on board for director Chris Nolan’s third and final installment in his Batman franchise. However, early speculation that they would be playing villains Talia al Ghul and Alberto Falcone, respectively, have turned out to be false (unless Nolan pulls a switcheroo).

But this latest news made me think of the villains and other criminal element in Gotham City (home of the Dark Knight). Now, unless you’re a sociopath like the Joker who finds pleasure in his confrontations with the Bat, it’s gotta be tough to operate on the other side of the law in a city where you’re always looking over your shoulder in case a psycho in a bat suit shows up to break your legs when all you want to do is steal a few jewels to feed your family. So here are 5 bits of advice that will help you survive if you decide to pursue the criminal life in Gotham City.

1) COMMIT YOUR CRIMES IN THE DAYTIME

By now, any criminal has to have figured out that Batman only comes out at night. He is the Dark Knight after all and, let’s be honest, a dude in a rubber bat suit running around in broad daylight isn’t going to strike terror in anyone except maybe the S&M transvestite hookers working the day shift on Hollywood Blvd who are afraid they now have new competition for their business. Yet, time and time again, the criminals in Gotham City insist on committing their crimes at night and, time and time again, they end up getting their asses kicked by the Bat. That’s like walking into the lion’s cage at the zoo wearing a suit made out of raw meat during the lion’s feeding time. If you’re going to walk into the lion’s cage at all, at least do it when the lion is out for its veterinarian check-up. It’s just common sense, people.

 Read more...

COMMUNITY QUESTION: Is lipbalm an emasculator?

  • March 3, 2011 1:00 am

Today, I’d like to pose a question to you, our beloved community.

Me?  I’ll take out my stick of Burt’s Bees anytime and anywhere and slap some on my lips.  However, the fact remains that I’m very interested in the perception of the world at large regarding this very important matter.

My investigation was catalyzed by a friend of mine who caught during on of my patented Burt Breaks.

Please note that I did not pull the lipbalm out of some manpurse nor did I have it around my neck on a lanyard.  Still, when she witnessed me doing this, she began a relentless series of taunts and teases, all hinging on the apparent femininity of a man freshening up his smackers in public.  Read more...

A Good Ol’ Game of Staring Chicken.

  • February 22, 2011 12:00 am

Those of you who have read enough of my stuff know by now that I’m a little weird.  And if you haven’t, well, I am – so now you’re all caught up.

I have mentioned before that I may or may not have OCD and that this possible disorder manifests itself in many, many ways.  Well, I just remembered one and so I thought, “Hell!  Might as well share!”  So I had to or I wouldn’t be able to use the bathroom.

Don't look at me like that - it was the first one that came up! Well, not really. I just liked the color.

Imagine, if you will, walking, driving, transporting yourself around any of a number of public places.  It is an eventuality that you will run into other people – strangers – before you head back home to eat your dinner alone.

 Read more...

What I Learned on YOMYOMF This Week – January 16 – 22, 2011

  • January 22, 2011 11:09 am

Someone wondered if I was Hispanic this weekend.  I was at this amusement park which will remain unnamed and I struck up a conversation with someone waiting at one of the ride exits.  The conversation had veered away as far as possible from race – chocolate milk – when she asked me in the politest way, “Are you Hispanic?”

I’m not, so, of course, I answered, “I’m not.” and followed that up by asking, “Why do you ask?”

She said simply, “Because you’re brown.”

She had me on that one.

Yeah, so this week, your trusty league of Offenders talks about vagina ambushes; a shaky way of increasing your breast size; and, naturally, dating advice for all you aspiring Lotharios.  Aspiring Lotharias will have to wait till next week – throw me a bone, Beverly?  Read more...

Jerome & Inception: The Dark Nerd Rises

  • January 6, 2011 12:00 am

Midway through the year of Our Lord 2010, I was challenged to write about Christopher Nolan’s Inception once a week for the rest of the year, a total of twenty-three posts over the course of half a year.

This is post twenty-four, the final post.

This… is my story.

What can I say that I haven’t already said?  Perhaps nothing, including that opening question which I might have used in a post a couple of weeks ago.  That isn’t to say that there’s nothing left to discover in this year’s most labyrinthine Hollywood tentpole – no, nothing could be further from the truth.

The fact of the matter that is my opinion is that you can only articulate so many things about a work – of cinema, of music, of art – before you’re left with the one thing you can’t translate for someone else: your personal experience with the work.

Track me down (preferably in a flattering but not creepy way) and engage in a conversation about Inception with me and the truth is you’ll probably hear me spout out a couple of the things I’ve written over the course of these twenty-three posts near-verbatim.  Quips, criticism, praise – there’s only so many ways to state something before you end up treading on your own toes.  Recycling becomes a calculated inevitability.

 Read more...

Jerome & Inception: fan fiction – THE HUMAN VAULT, part eleven.

  • December 30, 2010 3:10 am

I have been challenged to write about Inception once a week until the end of the year.  Not that this really changes anything because I was planning on doing that anyway.

This week, we conclude my adventure into the world of fan fiction.

This is a story in parts.  Here is Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7, Part 8, Part 9, and Part 10.  This is Part 11  It’s called

“The Human Vault.”  Read more...

Jerome & Inception: fan fiction – THE HUMAN VAULT, part ten.

  • December 23, 2010 12:00 am

I have been challenged to write about Inception once a week until the end of the year.  Not that this really changes anything because I was planning on doing that anyway.

This week, we continue my adventure into the world of fan fiction.  It’s probably safe to say we won’t be getting any more Inception stories from Nolan and the Blu-Ray doesn’t come out till later this year.  So in order to get a fix, I’m pretty much gonna have to make my own so hopefully, you need a fix too.

The first is a story in parts.  Here is Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7, Part 8 and Part 9.  This would be Part 10.  It’s called

“The Human Vault.”  Read more...

Jerome & Inception: fan fiction – THE HUMAN VAULT, part nine.

  • December 16, 2010 12:00 am

I have been challenged to write about Inception once a week until the end of the year.  Not that this really changes anything because I was planning on doing that anyway.

This week, we continue my adventure into the world of fan fiction.  It’s probably safe to say we won’t be getting any more Inception stories from Nolan and the Blu-Ray doesn’t come out till later this year.  So in order to get a fix, I’m pretty much gonna have to make my own so hopefully, you need a fix too.

The first is a story in parts.  Here is Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7 and Part 8. This would be Part 9.  It’s called

“The Human Vault.”  Read more...

Jerome & Inception: what did you think i’d be writing about?

  • December 9, 2010 12:00 am

I have been challenged to write about Inception once a week until the end of the year.  Not that this really changes anything because I was planning on doing that anyway.

What happens to a dream deferred?

Hell if I know, but damned if that question doesn’t sound smart.  I can, however, tell you what happens to a dream come true: it appears in my hand with a sexy lenticular slipcover.

Yes, readers – Inception has finally arrived on Blu-Ray.  If we are to remain on speaking terms, you should already own a copy in your home.  If it’s DVD only, we can stay Facebook friends and we have to take it slow.  Read more...