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Add Your Own Caption: Hello Gangsta Edition

  • February 24, 2012 7:55 pm

If you’re not already following us on Facebook, Twitter and Tumblr, you’re missing out on a lot of extras you won’t find here on our blog including updates on various Offender-related projects (like the most recent updates about our upcoming YOMYOMF Network on YouTube) and silly, fun things like “Add Your Own Caption.” This is where we post an image we find online or that our readers forward to us and ask you to write an appropriate caption to accompany that image. And we’ll feature some of the captions here.

And the featured caption for this week comes from reader Masa Matsuura (making his second appearance here):

“Say Hello to my little Kitty......."

So check out our Facebook page for future editions of “Add Your Own Caption”, write your own caption and/or “like” the ones you think are worthy and we may share them here.  Read more...

Why Japan is Awesome #39: Hello Kitty Hooters

  • February 8, 2012 12:01 am

When I think that the Japanese can’t get any more perverse inventive and awesome than they already are, they’ll do something that surprises even me. Who else would have thought to bring the magic of Hello Kitty and the magic of Hooters together in one bouncy package? Not since Reeses brought together chocolate and peanut butter has there been a more bizarre yet totally logical mash-up.

So this Valentine’s Day, if you are in Japan and one of the first 1,000 customers to show up at Hooters and order parfait, you will get a Hello Kitty Hooters pin.

 Read more...

WHAT I LEARNED ON YOMYOMF THIS WEEK – MAY 14 – 20, 2011

  • May 21, 2011 12:00 am

What I Learned on YOMYOMF This Week is a capsule of the week’s blogs with sarcastic commentary from Yours Truly (that’s me!).  If you’ve been busy and missed out on a couple of our daily gems, this is a perfect way to catch up.

But seriously – what was more important than reading YOMYOMF?

This week, fresh from our brain-ovens are the following talk-talk topics: dreams of Sanrio Stores; foiled suicides; and bloody first kisses.  Also: there is more!

I know, I know – it’s fantastic.  Just don’t get carried away now.

SAF SEEKING… EMOTIONAL DELIVERANCE:

“Sometimes, I wish I could just kill all the emotions inside of me with the same smoke bomb that exterminators use to kill mice. I’d simply suffocate all those feelings: disappointment, envy, heartbreak… and if happiness and joy were killed in the process, well ‘tant pis’!!!!”

From my experience, Nyquil usually grants me a couple hours reprieve from my emotions… but you may not want to go down that route.  Unless you love sleep.

SANRIO STORES WERE A DISAPPOINTMENT.:

In which I recall my overwhelming childhood desire to enter a Sanrio Store.

I was pretty much the typical boy’s boy.  Read more...

China’s Hello Kitty Amusement Park & Other ‘Interesting’ Theme Parks

  • May 16, 2011 12:01 am

Japan’s Sanrio Co. announced last week that it will be building a Hello Kitty theme park in China, similar to its Purolands parks in Japan that celebrate all things Hello Kitty and her Sanrio-inspired brood. It’s currently scheduled to open in 2014 so book those tickets now.

I know a lot of our readers are into all things Hello Kitty (like this Hello Kitty self-pleasuring device) and will be anxiously awaiting the opening of this attraction, which will be located south of Shanghai. But if you can’t wait that long and want to find an “interesting” theme park in Asia to visit this summer vacation, you’re in luck! We’ve already written about China’s World Chocolate Wonderland and Japan’s Ocean Dome, but here are four more Asian theme parks I’m sure our freakish perverted adventurous readers will enjoy:

SHIJINGSHAN AMUSEMENT PARK (Beijing, China):

Of course, China has many other theme parks besides the upcoming Hello Kitty one and among the best known is Shijingshan, located in the nation’s capital. The park features magical castles, Snow White and her Dwarfs, a cat with large mouse-like ears and apparently the best lawyers money can buy considering the place hasn’t been closed down for being a Disneyland knock-off as many have accused it of being. ‘Cause Shijingshan characters like “Duck” and “Girl Cat” clearly do not bear any resemblance to copyrighted Disney characters:

Besides, I challenge Disneyland to come up with a better ticket window than this:

 Read more...

Sanrio Stores were a disappointment.

  • May 16, 2011 12:00 am

While I now have a more fluid idea of gender, it hasn’t always been like that.  Growing up, I was exposed with very strict notions of gender roles.

I could never show any interest in Barbies even though I admired their craftsmanship more than the rubber-band innards of G.I. Joes. I was encouraged to play soccer out in the field despite wanting nothing more than to play house (though to be fair, I was pretending to be Magneto in a house).

And, as acceptable as it is in later life, being able to talk more easily with the girls than the boys often got you a one way ticket to weirdo-branding.

My sense of self was always wildly fluctuating back then.  Various compulsion warred inside me in those days – conform or resist?  In most cases, it was a 50/50 situation.

But there was always one desire in my childhood that I had to keep in check: going into a Sanrio store.

Girls were always bringing Sanrio accessories to class, emblazoned with Hello Kitty and Badtz Badtz Maru and Keroppi, and I could do nothing but envy them.  I found the character designs so aesthetically pleasing, though I could never articulate my feelings as pretentiously then as I can now.  Read more...

Cool in a Box

  • November 16, 2010 3:56 am

I’ve seen my kids cycle through Diablos, yo-yo’s, and most recently, Silly Bandz, as crazes of the month.

But through my nostalgic glasses, none of them compares with the glory that is the soft case pencil box, circa 1984.

These little trick boxes were James Bond gadgets for nerds.

Press a button and a hidden tray containing colored plastic paper clips would pop out.  Open a magnetic latch and find a secret stash of pre-sharpened pencils.  Sure, there was the simple hard metal Star Wars box,

 Read more...

Awesome Japanese Toys!

  • March 30, 2010 12:01 am

If you’re a regular reader of my blogs, you know how freakish awesome I think the Japanese are (see examples here and here). Well, let the awesomeness continue. Saw some interesting Japanese toys over at the Huffington Post and thought I’d share some of them with our readers plus other equally interesting toys I dug up elsewhere. Enjoy!

KABA-KICK

‘Cause it’s never too early to teach your kids how to play Russian roulette.

GOD JESUS ROBOT

Since God and Jesus sometimes take a long time to answer your prayers (if and when they even do so at all), the God Jesus Robot is there to do the job when you need a response now. You: “Dear God Jesus Robot, does Jenny like me?” God Jesus Robot: “The scriptures say, NO!”  Read more...

Ear Sex – the ancient art of giving pleasure

  • March 8, 2010 9:24 am

As a kid, I would badger my mom to clean my ears at least 3 times a week.  I would run to the pen cup, pull out the skinny little bamboo shovel with fuzzy cotton ball top, and scream out to my mom, “Mama, can you clean my ear???!!!”  If my mom wasn’t busy outside harvesting silkworms or chopping the head off a duck, she would usually oblige.  So there I would sit, Indian style, with my head kinked 45 degrees to the left or right depending upon which ear canal was being excavated.  I’d usually have my hand sticking out like I was expecting someone to give me money.  But instead of cold hard cash, my hand acted as a depository for the bounty of ear wax my mom would soon be pulling out of the dark recesses of my canal.  It was beyond satisfying to feel the little bamboo spoon probing my ear hole, scratching and scraping the walls and occassionally hearing it encounter a little boulder of hard wax.  Crunch!  And then, to my delight, my mom would present me with a yellowish-green chunk of gold and let it drop into my hand.  After a few minutes, I would have a little stack of wax piled on my palm and a smile on my face running from clean ear to clean ear.  Little did I know that this innocent mother/son ear-probing ritual would become a fervent, lifelong obsession…

a bounty of ear pleasure  Read more...