SAF Seeking… A backbone


Annika is a 28 year old Cambodian Vietnamese Chinese French American who recently returned to school to finish a bachelor’s degree in computer science and linguistics. Her hobbies and interests include swimming, cooking, baking, writing, reading, math, symbolic logic, learning foreign languages, and drinking espresso – and of course, boys.


“Have you ever sent anything back at a restaurant?” queried my therapist.

I’ve been in therapy since the summer of 2013.

I flung myself into the arms of psychodynamic-oriented psychotherapy at the age of 27 in the midst of my divorce. I had never before been in therapy, but when I stumbled upon a never-before-seen box of memories my then-soon-to-be-ex-husband had saved from the four years of our marriage that was almost no more, I found myself sitting on the floor of our closet – as I was packing my belongings – crying hysterically and cradling the white box in my arms for the better part of an hour.


The Politeness Period.

Let’s begin with a hypothetical situation:

A friend of a friend is killed by an explosion at a grilled cheese factory.  How much time must pass before you can make a cheesy joke while still being polite?

Also, the cheesy joke is about dying from explosions at a grilled cheese factory.

Yes, I know – I’ve read that one adage adage from that one comedian about you shouldn’t worry about offending anyone when you’re making a joke.  In fact s/he said that it’s probably inevitable that you will.

This still doesn’t change the fact that I’m a gentleman and I’d like to be moderately considerate before I joke about a close friend’s demise.