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This is as bad as it looks. I never heard this ’80s one hit blunder but they try to jam pack everything Japanesey to rap rhyme, like “I never have to fight and I’ll tell you why, no one wants to fight a samurai” or “I train in my car, I’m a ninjaa”…. Uh, that last line was kind of reaching. There’s even the Oriental riff for good measure. Either way, watch with adulterated judgement on this Superbowl Sunday. And remember… Kumite!
(Via Frederic Ambrosine)
UPDATE: Looks like the offending ad has been flagged and may be taken down. Fight the power!
When you think of the best ways to promote Chinese tea, what comes to mind? How about Japanese dancing geishas and kimonos? ‘Cause according to this Craigslist job posting, that’s exactly the way to do it:
Performance artist to do geisha girl style dances with two fans to promote Chinese teas at Topanga Earth Day Fair, April 23rd & 24th.
Also need volunteers for “tea room” at the fair. Also want a Tea Ceremony Master. You will be wearing a traditional Japanese kimono.
Also if you have a CA massage license, you can do massages and make money.
Payment in free admission to fair, all meals, and mileage. A great thing for your resume.
In the Western world, men have specific ideas about the exotic and erotic East. Some of these notions are based in reality while others are pure stereotypes, but they all have one thing in common—if you really dig deep and think about it, these Asian things that are supposed to be sexy are anything but sexy. Here are ten examples:
1) EATING SUSHI OFF A NAKED WOMAN’S BODY
What could be hotter than eating sushi off the body of a beautiful naked chick? It’s the perfect union of the two awesomest things in the world: food and sex, right? But when you really consider this, you’ll find it’s actually more disgusting than sexy. The woman has to lie still for hours while the sushi is prepared, displayed and consumed from her naked body. I repeat—hours! Which is plenty of time for everything from sweat to germs to dirt to menstrual blood to all sorts of diseases and all the other yucky stuff the human body naturally excretes or attracts to also make contact with your food. Congratulations, you are now the first person to get a venereal disease from eating California rolls! And since there are no real laws to regulate this practice, you have no way of knowing if the woman you’re eating off of decided to come in to work after catching a bad cold, playing with her ten dirty dogs in the mud and neglecting to shower ‘cause she doesn’t believe in “personal hygiene.”
The East, The West, And Sex: A History Of Erotic Encounters…with a title like that, of course I was going to pick up Richard Bernstein’s latest book. I enjoyed his previous effort (Out Of The Blue: The Story of September 11, 2001, From Jihad To Ground Zero) and the description of his new work sounded fascinating: an exploration of the history of the “erotic” encounters between the Western and Eastern civilizations; operating under the thesis that because sex was never culturally associated with sin in the East (which in his definition includes northern Africa, the Middle East, Asia and the Pacific Islands), the Western (male) explorers who came there suddenly found a whole new sexual world open to them. History, sex and Asian culture: three of my favorite subjects. So far so good, right? Wrong.
I’ve had the book for about three weeks now and have only made it through ¼ of it. Considering I read about three books a week on average, that’s slow and more likely than not, this is it. I’m probably going to stop reading altogether. Why? Because so far, the book feels…creepy. It’s like the literary equivalent of the one white guy who shows up at every Asian event and tries to impress everyone (particularly the women) with his vast “knowledge” of all things Asian.
Yellow Fever:
Sexual obsession felt by a non-asian (Usually white, usually male) towards asians of the opposite gender. Symptoms of yellow fever include stalking, halfhearted attempts to learn Japanese/Mandarin/Cantonese/Korean and whacking off to Sailor Moon video’s.
And I should know.
–From Urbandictionary
The other day, an ex-Asian American girlfriend who currently lives up in San Francisco posted some photos from a Lunar New Year’s celebration she attended. She was dressed in a cheongsam that fit tightly around her still curvaceous and lovely body. The dress also had that slit that runs down the side to show off her long and silky smooth legs. And damn, if I wasn’t turned on! I haven’t thought about this woman in a long time, but the only thing that kept me from jumping on a plane to the Bay Area at that very moment was the fact that she has a husband and a kid now.
But it got me thinking about why these photos got me all hot and bothered. Like I said, she’s not someone I really think much about these days, yet there was something…well, I think I might just have to conclude that it was the whole cheongsam thing that made her look so fine. Which begs the question: Do I have yellow fever? And maybe even more pressing than that: Is it even possible for an Asian guy to have yellow fever?
