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Yet Another Reason For Al Qaeda – and now Florida! – To Hate Us

  • February 21, 2012 4:03 am

In the 20th century, 158 hurricanes walloped the United States.  Leading the pack was Florida with 57, Texas came in second with 36, and we have a tie for third place between Louisiana and North Carolina, each boasting 25 landfalls.

So what’s a bored, decadent, hurricane-free state like California to do?

Install photo-booth size Hurricane Simulators, that’s what!

(I wonder if they have Earthquake Simulators in Florida, Texas, Louisiana and North Carolina?)

I stopped in at one of our higher end outdoor malls, Bay Street, to redeem the Banana Republic gift card my mom had gotten me for Christmas, when, on the way back to the parking garage, I passed this little Hurricane booth.  Read more...

An Open Letter To The Church Planning To Burn The Koran

  • August 4, 2010 12:01 am

Dear Dove World Outreach Centre:

So I read the latest news that your pastor Terry Jones is planning to commemorate 9/11 with an “International Burn a Koran Day” on the grounds of your Florida church and you’re calling on other religious groups to join you by burning their own piles of the Koran a.k.a. the Islamic holy book.

Here’s what he said on the subject: “Islam and Sharia law was responsible for 9/11. We see the effects of Islam on Europe. As it has done nothing, Islam is beginning to take over there. Islam is presenting itself as a religion of peace. We want to stop its spread here.”

Now, you’ve been criticized not only by Muslims and other non-Christians, but also sane Christians who see your actions as misguided, hateful and, frankly, a little cuckoo. But you’re not backing down. And why should you? You’re all about standing up for your baby Jesus-inspired convictions and, besides, you’re pumped and ready to literally turn up the heat with your event. There’s no stopping you now so burn, baby, burn! After all, your Facebook page is up:

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Remember To Neuter Your Tiger (Woods)

  • February 27, 2010 9:43 am

Those wacky folks at PETA are at it again. They announced this past week that they were going to unveil the following billboard in Florida to encourage pet owners to spay or neuter their pets:

But after “talking” with Tiger Woods’ lawyers, PETA announced yesterday that they will place the billboard “on hold” for now and go with another campaign. That must have been quite a talk.

it Sucks to be Tiger Woods

  • November 30, 2009 12:03 am

It sucks to be Tiger Woods.

Now I’m sure no one’s heart is bleeding for a 33 year old billionaire who’s married to a Nordic model and is one of the most admired athletes in history.  Just the mere mention of his name to a passing stranger conjures up feelings and flavors of a life as champion – the stuff that dreams are made of.  Tiger Woods has transcended the fairways and the links and into the hearts and minds of people around the world.  He is no longer just a guy who happens to be good at golf and just happens to be 25% Chinese, 25% Thai, 25% African American, 12.5% American Indian and 12.5% Dutch (who knew DNA could mix to that degree).  Tiger Woods has become an adjective, a metaphor for success.  Tiger Woods is no longer human but an ideal, a brand.

TigerWoodsSmile  Read more...