JIMMY
Most people know of Jimmy Tsai in one of his roles as accountant, fantasy basketball commissioner, or purveyor of athletic sportswear. But what people do NOT know is that under the pseudonym Tequila Rush, Jimmy authored the “mockumography” Go! Opium Pandamonium! Go!: From the Opium Pipe to Saturday Morning Children’s Cartoons. It currently ranks #5,339,475 on the Amazon.com sales ranking list. Amongst Jimmy’s latest ventures is a website devoted to Asians and Asian-Ams in sports entitled beyondbadminton.com.
THIS BLOG HAS BEEN UPDATED AS OF 2:50 P.M. PST ON MARCH 18, 2010. THERE WERE SOME TEXT ISSUES THAT ARE NOW FIXED. SORRY FOR THE INCONVENIENCE.
Over this past weekend, I had a revelation on a topic that has been pestering my subconscious ever since I was a child. A revelation of “bake your noodle” proportions. Now, before I dive into both conundrum and subsequent revelation, let me preface this all by mentioning that if you were not a fan of the original 80s Transformers cartoon, you may find this rambling just as necessary or relevant as those goddamn accelerator suits in G.I. JOE: THE RISE OF COBRA (in other words, “not very”). However, if you were one of those inquisitive minds that wondered where the hell Soundwave was able to store all those damn tapes that popped out of his chest ad infinitum, then read on!
First, the conundrum (you may not have consciously thought this to yourself–or maybe you did—but trust me, as soon as I finish asking the question and providing the answer, you will suddenly feel as if a nagging itch has finally been scratched). You ready? Here it goes:
“Why the f*ck is Devastator dumber than the six collective Constructicons that form him?”
