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What better way to commemorate this special day than by revisiting an oldie but goodie—a few years ago Detroit police officer Edward Sanchez took home some marijuana that he had confiscated and decided to bake them into some brownies.
Well, the brownies turned out be stronger than Officer Sanchez had anticipated, leading to this classic 911 call where Sanchez told the operator such gems as:
Check out the full audio of the call below and then join me for some Twinkies and pizza.
Girl was hot in her day!
I’m sitting in a hotel in San Antonio, TX. I’ve been flying for 6 hours (thanks Work for always getting me the worst flights so that you keep your costs down!) and I’m trying to unwind by eating my $14.00 airport Waldorf salad while watching some kind of episode of Teen Mom 2 on MTV. (I don’t own a television in real life, so when I get a chance to boob tube it, I find it quite foreign and exhilarating.) And what’s that scrolling across the bottom? Whitney Houston…R and B superstar… is found DEAD?!?!?!
You’ve got to be flippin’ kidding!
Why do I feel so sad?
Following on the heels of the death of Kim Jong-Il came news that rock star Jon Bon Jovi had passed away as well. But it turns out the latter story wasn’t true at all with the New Jersey rocker alive and well. However, it seems that the people of North Korea didn’t get the latest update and their love for the “departed” Bon Jovi may rival that of their love for their dearly departed leader if this video (courtesy of reader Elson) is any indication:
Specific details about the circumstances around Kim Jong-Il’s death are still sketchy at best. However, in another YOMYOMF exclusive, we have learned from a source who was at the North Korean dictator’s deathbed that Dear Leader did have some last words to share with the world. And for the first time anywhere, here they are:
1) I knew I shouldn’t have hired Conrad Murray as my personal physician.
2) Anyone else find it funny I’m dying at age 69? 69?!!! Hilarious! You can’t make this shit up.
3) I feel bad for all the chubby Asian American comedians who will now be out of work.
4) You must not reveal to the world that our entire nuclear program is actually modeled after Mr. Burns’ power plant from The Simpsons.
Yes, I was unironically eating my beloved Cool Ranch Doritos while catching up on the news when I heard that Doritos inventor Arch Clark West passed away last week at the age of 97.
Now, I love Doritos. And frankly, I don’t know anyone who doesn’t love them too. Except pedophiles and serial killers and Communists who hate puppies. I’ve been enjoying them for as long as I remember and will most likely be enjoying them until the day I die. But I had never heard of West before.
Considering how much something like Doritos has been a part of my life, I’ve never given any thought to where they came from or the fact that they were even invented by a real, breathing human being.
Usually if I get a phone call at 7 AM, it means something is amiss. No one who knows me would call me that early because they know I probably went to bed just a couple of hours earlier and will be getting up a couple of hours later and that’s my prime sleeping time. So I knew I couldn’t ignore this call.
“Are you awake?” my friend Irene asks in a frantic voice. Well, I guess I am now.
“You have to come over right away,” she continues without waiting for a response. “I think my grandmother called me last night.” That statement wouldn’t be strange except for one fact: Irene’s grandmother had passed away a week-and-a-half ago. “Actually meet me at Alcove for breakfast. I don’t feel comfortable being in my apartment right now.”
So I meet up with Irene and she tells me what happened over a breakfast burrito and coffee. She had gone to bed at midnight as she usually does. At some point in the night, her cell phone rang. She opened her eyes for a second, decided that she was too tired to answer and went back to sleep. When Irene woke up the next morning, she checked her cell and the late night caller hadn’t left a message, but…the call had originated from her deceased grandmother’s home phone.
“Her phone was disconnected a week ago,” she said. “This is freaking me out.”
The United States Postal Service recently announced that a popular program that takes place every holiday season where volunteers in the small town of North Pole, Alaska respond to letters that children write to Santa Claus will be discontinued. The decision is not due to the ailing economy but rather because of an incident last year in Maryland when a postal worker recognized an Operation Santa volunteer as a registered sex offender.
So unless the Post Office decides to reverse their decision, many parents will be forced into an awkward position this holiday season where they will have to explain to their children why their letters to Santa have been returned—unopened, unread and with a big fat stamp that says “RETURN TO SENDER. NO SUCH PERSON” on the envelope.
