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How to Survive in a TV Writers’ Room

  • January 16, 2012 1:17 pm

COREY

Corey Miller has been interested in the entertainment business since he was a child, much to his mother’s (and often his own) chagrin. After holding an ungodly number of Production Assistant, Production Coordinator and then Writer’s Assistant positions, he got hired as the Assistant to the Show Runner on the television show “CSI.” After impressing his boss (i.e., bugging her until she relented), he got the chance to write a freelance episode. Later hired as a Staff Writer on “CSI: Miami,” he eventually rose the ranks to Supervising Producer. His other writing credits include the indie film “Border To Border” and episodes of the series “The Forgotten” and “NCIS: Los Angeles,” and he sold a spec pilot to The Peter Chernin Company and Fox. He is currently a Writer and Co-Executive Producer on the series “Body of Proof,” which airs Tuesday nights (10/9c) on ABC. Corey is not ashamed to admit that he is an L.A. native. You can follow him on twitter at @toomuchfire. Here, he shares what it’s like inside the writers’ room of a network TV drama.

Everything you need to survive the writers' room.

Pretty much every writer can attest to the fact that the blank page is one of the scariest visions that they face on a regular basis — the harsh, bright-white beacon of their presumed failure, since most assuredly, THIS time the page will remain wordless.

Now picture a conference room bathed in fluorescent light, its walls covered with huge, white dry erase boards, with nary a word on them. Add a group of screenwriters to the mix, and that fear is compounded, with interest. They gaze up at the blank walls and then each other, all thinking the same thing: “You mean, we have to come up with an idea that will sustain a full episode of television? Craft a plot, and character arcs, and have the suspense gradually and realistically build in every act, leading to every commercial break? Oh, and it needs to entertain millions of people, especially in the 18-49 demographic? And we have to justify spending millions of dollars of our employer’s money?”

What I Learned on YOMYOMF This Week – April 16 – 22, 2011

  • April 23, 2011 12:00 am

What I Learned on YOMYOMF This Week is a capsule of the week’s blogs with sarcastic commentary from Yours Truly (that’s me!).  If you’ve been busy and missed out on a couple of our daily gems, this is a perfect way to catch up.

But seriously – what was more important than reading YOMYOMF?

As we approach the close of April, YOMYOMF examines the Japanese tendency to cute-ify everything; the Filipino crucifixion craze; and genital slang.

Didn’t see that one coming, did you?

JAPANESE TSUNAMI MASCOTS:

“Japan has a tradition of using “cute” mascot characters to educate the public about things that are far from cute.  [...]  Now, here are a few examples from recent years of tsunami-related examples of this tradition.”

I don’t know about you, but nothing makes me afraid of something more than when it’s anthropomorphized.

KIDS ON PLANES AND I HATE THEIR PARENTS:

“A mother is HOLY in most cultures, she’s a saint, a woman of virtue, untouchable and needed in this world: she bred and somehow, we –the pitiful childless- have to be kind to her because she IS sacrificing her life to make the life of someone else’s possible. I don’t WANT to give up my seat (I pee a lot and therefore I get up a lot, that’s why I always book an aisle seat), but I’d be an ASSHOLE if I didn’t.”

Wait… what’s wrong with being an asshole?

Oh, right – that’s why no one loves me.

“I Don’t Know” Or How To Break Into The Biz

  • September 6, 2010 11:33 pm

COREY

Corey Miller has been interested in the entertainment business since he was a child, much to his mother’s (and often his own) chagrin. After holding an ungodly number of Production Assistant, Production Coordinator and then Writer’s Assistant positions, he got hired as the Assistant to the Show Runner on the television show “CSI.” After impressing his boss (i.e., bugging her until she relented), he got the chance to write a freelance episode. Later hired as a Staff Writer on “CSI: Miami,” he eventually rose the ranks to Supervising Producer. His other writing credits include the indie film “Border To Border” and episodes of the series “The Forgotten” and “NCIS: Los Angeles,” and recently sold a spec pilot to The Peter Chernin Company and Fox. He is currently a Writer and Co-Executive Producer on the upcoming ABC series “Body Of Proof.” Corey is not ashamed to admit that he is an L.A. native. He is one of the jurors for YOMYOMF’s INTERPRETATIONS Film Initiative.

As of this writing, I have almost been working towards or working in the entertainment business for half of my life. As scary as that is for me to think about, it does make me realize that I actually do know a lot about the strange machinations of the industry that has caused me to prematurely age, want to bite people, and frequently curse the fact that I am incapable of doing anything else.

So it continues to confound both myself and the usually fresh-faced writer/director/producer/actor/fill-in-the-blank industry neophyte when I am asked how to break into that same business and I answer with a very simple statement : “I don’t know.”