I’ve been binging on milk lately (organic FTW). This is the truth and I’m probably the most surprised about all this since I couldn’t stand drinking the stuff as a kid.

Somehow, I’ve been able to burn through three half-gallon containers within the space of a week, which is all well and good but I’m lazy and I hate having to go to Sam’s Club so frequently to get more.
This weekend, one of my many responsibilities was to procure more of the white fluid, so I headed off to the nearest S to the C filled with dread.
If you’re reading with no idea why I’d be so apprehensive, then you’ve obviously never been to a Sam’s Club:

People buy lots of shit at Sam’s Club, moreso than in other stores. I mean, where else do they have carts like the one above?
Something about those stores activates some base hoarding instinct in people of all races and ages, and by the time I’ve gotten my one item for purchase, I’ve got a snake of a line filled with full carts waiting for me. Read more...