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How to Survive Lunar New Year if You’re an Asian American Criminal

  • January 22, 2012 8:58 pm

Dear Asian American Criminal:

Let me start off by saying that I don’t condone your criminal lifestyle—the murdering, the thieving, the embezzling, the assaulting and all the other illegal, awful things you do. But I know you are loyal readers of this blog because…well, just look at the shit we write about. And as loyal readers, I feel an obligation to return that loyalty to you and I can’t think of a better occasion to do that than on this Lunar New Year holiday. So let me just give you this one piece of valuable advice if you plan on committing your heinous crimes on this day of all days:

Don’t do it in Chinatown!

It doesn’t matter if you commit your crimes in Chinatown on the other 364 days of the year, this is the one day you must avoid it because I guarantee that you will get caught. Why? Because if Hollywood movies and TV shows have taught us anything, it’s that white cops are always busting Asian criminals in Chinatown while the new year’s celebrations are taking place.  Read more...

Tea with Uncle Joe

  • August 31, 2011 1:26 pm

Strolling through San Francisco Chinatown was like walking down memory lane. Since graduating from Berkeley, I’ve always left a bit of my heart (dimsum) in San Francisco Chinatown where I had numerous meals with my uncles, aunts and cousins and late night snacks with dates and lovers.

Growing up as a new immigrant from Hong Kong, my parents had taught us to distinguish ourselves from the Chinatown Chinese who were unfashionable and unhip. But that has never deterred me from falling in love with every Chinatown that I have visited.

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Original Offenders: Eddie Fung

  • November 11, 2010 12:10 am

A few years ago, Judy Yung, who was my Asian American studies professor back in college, was in Los Angeles to give a talk at the Chinese American Museum. I had been Judy’s teaching assistant for her Asian American Experience class and she had been my faculty advisor when I had taught my own course in Asian American literature at UC Santa Cruz and we’ve kept in touch since I graduated. It was at that event when she introduced me to her “new” husband, Eddie Fung.

Eddie training to be a soldier at Camp Bowie, Texas.

Although Eddie was in his 80s when I met him, there was nothing frail or elderly about him. Judy introduced him to the audience during her talk and I remember he jumped up and moved around and spoke with the energy of a man a third his age about the new book he and Judy had collaborated on that told the story of his life entitled The Adventures of Eddie Fung: Chinatown Kid, Texas Cowboy, Prisoner of War. And among his many amazing accomplishments, he had the distinction of being the only Chinese American soldier (and one of only two Asian Americans) captured by the Japanese during World War II where he was put to work building the Burma-Siam Railroad made famous in the 1957 film The Bridge on the River Kwai.  Read more...

Original Offenders: Christine Sterling

  • August 31, 2010 12:01 am

Los Angeles’ Chinatown is still one of the most vibrant ethnic communities in the country and holds the title as the first Chinese enclave in the United States “owned” by Chinese Americans. But the Chinatown that we know today may not have existed if it hadn’t been for a woman named Christine Sterling.

Sterling (1881-1963) was a Los Angeles socialite (a.k.a. wealthy white woman with time on her hands) who had a passion for local history. She once remarked: “Los Angeles will be forever marked a transient, Orphan city if she allows her roots to rot in a soil of impoverished neglect.”  Read more...

If I had all the money in the world, I’d remake ROMANTIC CLASSICS with JIN and SUN from LOST

  • May 10, 2010 2:40 pm

SPOILER ALERT: If you haven’t seen last week’s episode of Lost and don’t want to know what happened, skip the text.

When the television series Lost premiered six years ago, there was a fair amount of criticism from some in the Asian American community about the way Jin and Sun, the Korean couple played by Daniel Dae Kim and Yunjin Kim, were portrayed. Jin seemed to be little more than the stereotypical domineering Korean male while Sun was meek and submissive. I remember Daniel telling me at the time that he hoped people would give the show and the characters a chance to evolve. The audience did and the characters did change—eventually becoming the romantic heart of the show and providing something all too rare in Hollywood: a real love story between an Asian man and an Asian woman.

So when Jin and Sun met their deaths last week, there was shock, outrage and grief—an outpouring of genuine emotion for what may have arguably been one of the series’ most moving moments. As we countdown this month to Lost’s final episode, Offender David and I pay tribute to one of the great small screen romances by imagining Jin/Daniel and Sun/Yunjin as the leads in six of cinema’s most memorable romantic films.
–Philip

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An Open Letter To TV Writers On How To Write Your ‘Chinatown’ Episode

  • November 24, 2009 11:23 am

law and orderDear TV Writer:

My fellow Offender Roger recently wrote about how almost every television series has their “Chinatown” episode. Roger may have called you to task for doing this, but hey, I’ve written for TV before, and I know how difficult it is. You have to put out a new episode week after week and it’s hard work and sometimes you have to rely on familiar stand-bys to get you through a grueling schedule. Familiar stand-bys such as the “flashback” episode (mostly comprised of clips from past shows allowing you to take a little bit of a break), the “very special” episode (where the lead character has a bout with alcoholism, spousal abuse, ghost whispering or some other “hard-hitting” social issue) and the “Chinatown” episode. Believe me, I sympathize. In fact, let me do more than that. Let me make your job easier. If you’re about to write your “Chinatown” episode, make sure to include the following and you can’t go wrong.  Read more...