Around the Horn: Bucket List Edition

my-bucket-list

Don’t want to bring things down too much, but death’s been on my mind recently–last week, we lost two people who were connected to YOMYOMF in their own ways. One of the workers in the real estate office next to our YOMYOMF office passed away of an unexpected heart attack as did Cira Felina Bolla (from cancer) who was the DP on my fellow Offender Alfredo’s YOMYOMF Network series REALITY REBOOT. I didn’t know either particularly well, but both were young and seemed to be full of life so it was shocking to hear about those losses.

Of course, we all have suffered similar losses and know all too well that death can come unexpectedly but things like this really remind you of that. It makes you aware of your own mortality and that of those around you and, at least for me, makes me think of all the things I’ve always wanted to do, but seem to never get around to i.e. the bucket list.

I don’t really have grand ambitions on my bucket list–i.e. things like climbing Mount Everest–for me, what I want is pretty simple: to be able to comfortably do what I love to do, be around good friends and family and to support them, etc… But the one thing I have always been saying I want to do is take my parents on regular vacations. We used to do family vacations all the time when I was growing up, but I have to say it’s been a long time since we’ve all been together that way. And as my parents are getting on in years, doesn’t make sense to keep putting it off so I think this summer, will make that happen. Perhaps we finally do that Alaskan cruise or the tour of Machu Picchu we’ve been talking about.

What about everyone else? What’s on your bucket list?

Around the Horn: Children

FOMATO_DONT_POOP_ANYMOREMy partner and I have been trying to conceive for a year.  We’re both relatively advanced in age, so it’s possible we may not have children.  We might, but we also might not.

I’m contemplating what it’d be like to miss the experience of raising a child.  Without kids, we’d get more sleep, be less stressed, retain more money to spend on art and adventures (and junk food), and have extra time to indulge in pleasures and art projects/work.  

The Short List: ODE TO A CHRISTMAS TREE

As part of our new YOMYOMF Network series, The Short List, where we present short films we love every Friday at Noon EST, we’ve reached out to the filmmakers with 5 Questions to see what’s up since the production of their short film. It’s a way for them to revisit their film and get an update on their next projects. You can view all The Short List films here.

 This week, we ask 5 questions to director Sarah Kim about her film, ODE TO A CHRISTMAS TREE.
[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wtducJznEhE&feature=share&list=PL271F68EF73F6EA1A[/youtube]

1. How did you come up with the concept for this short?

The Short List: LOST FOR WORDS

As part of our new YOMYOMF Network series, The Short List, where we present short films we love every Friday at Noon EST, we’ve reached out to the filmmakers with 5 Questions to see what’s up since the production of their short film. It’s a way for them to revisit their film and get an update on their next projects. You can view all The Short List films here.

We asked 5 questions to Sean Wainsteim, the director of this week’s short film, Lost For Words.

1. How did you come up with the concept for this short?

Around the Horn: The Winning! Edition

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=04854XqcfCY[/youtube]U-S-A.  Say it with me… U-S-A!  We are the champions my friends.  And we’ll keep on… blah blah – blah blah blah………….done!

I was recently with my family at Disneyland and I went on the ride “Buzz Lightyear Astro Blasters” where you shoot all these aliens and monsters.  At the end you get a score, which leads my 6 ½ year old son to always ask me “Who won?”  I always say “It doesn’t matter, we were a team.”  In these competitive games he sometimes knows he lost and when that happens the world collapses and needs to play again to win.  It’s so difficult to structure him sometimes.

An Open Letter to the Children of America About the Importance of Diversity in the Media

Here at YOMYOMF, we value the feedback from loyal readers like yourselves. That’s why when several of you suggested we try to write blogs that were more educational and blogs that could teach and inspire our youth, I thought—yes, that is a good and noble idea. So I vow to take this suggestion to heart and post more blogs…for the children.

And in that spirit–today, I write about an issue that is not only dear to my heart, but that is also very important in the multicultural society we live in…the lack of diversity in the mainstream media. And particularly in film and television. Furthermore, I’ll discuss this subject in a way that will allow even the youngest and stupidest child to understand. And further furthermore, in order to make sure everything I write is accurate and appropriate, I have asked a representative from a well-respected teachers’ organization to read over this post and make any necessary corrections. So let’s fucking do this! So let us proceed in the proper manner…

DADDY FAN – Hollywood, family – Part 2

“You’re the girl in the relationship, Rog.”

What?  Did I hear that right?  Did a girl friend of mine just emasculate me with a quick flick of her tongue?

I just stood there for about 6 seconds, face frozen with a half-smile, trying to figure out if what she had just said was a kick in the balls or a verbal embrace of understanding.

some days, I look like this. just less Ryan Gosling-ish...

It was the later.  F-me, she was right.  I am the girl in the relationship.  Which means my Sexy-Korean-Wife-Lover-Mama is the man.  Me?  Girl.  Wife?  Man.  How the heck did I lose my manhood so unexpectedly?  It was like the tooth fairy visited me in my sleep, but instead of taking my tooth, she spirited away my penis.  And she didn’t even leave a nickle – just a hole in my spiritual crotch.  It sucks…yet I have nothing to suck.

Chinky or Not Chinky: Is this 9/11 Coloring Book Anti-Muslim?

By now you may have heard that Muslim American activists are outraged by a new children’s coloring book entitled We Shall Never Forget 9/11: The Kids’ Book of Freedom, which they say promotes an anti-Muslim agenda and is inappropriate for children by pointing to examples like this image depicting the assassination of Osama Bin Laden:

Kids Write the Darndest Letters!

I was all set to post a blog describing a recent “misadventure” I had where the police mistakenly thought I was a pimp running a brothel, but I figure I should wait until I’m positive I’m in the clear before doing that. So while I lay low, wait for the heat to die down, google L.A.-based lawyers who do pro bono work for people mistaken for sex industry workers, enjoy these adorably disturbing letters written by kids instead (via our friends at Funny or Die):

An Open Letter to Korean American Parents About Naming Their Child

Dear Korean American parent-to-be:

A couple of weeks ago, I posted the following message on Facebook/Twitter:

Dear Korean soon-to-be parents with the last names of Lee, Kim or Park, do not name your child John or Grace. It’s getting too damn confusing.

And I know I’m not the only one who has this problem. I know many of you reading this have had an experience like the following:

There are multiple John Kims in your address book so you accidentally send the following email to the John Kim who is the pastor of your church instead of the John Kim who is your trusted business partner:

I have disposed of the body. No one will know. :)

Or you get confused by the multiple Grace Lees you know and send the following text to your 55-year-old aunt Grace Lee instead of the super freaky 25-year-old Grace Lee you met at norebang last weekend:

Girl, that thing u can do w/your tongue & the ice cubes is wicked awesome! Can’t wait 2 see what u do 2 me this weekend with the whipped cream, riding crop & midget dressed like Tattoo from Fantasy Island. LOL.

DADDY FAN – Hollywood, family

I’m a baby papa.  Actually, make that babies papa.  There, I outed myself.  I am legally a parent and a husband – a man no longer solo but a caretaker of my out-of-womb seeds and a spicy Oriental lass of the Han-Gook variety.

“Everything changes once you have kids.  So don’t pop holes through your condom with your teeth during…”
-  Planned Parenthood (ok, not really)

If you had asked me 5 years ago whether I’d be married with kids (and a minivan too), I would have laughed really, really hard and said, “Whatever mofo, pass the lychee soju and let us drink like vikings and touch the untanned parts of pretty girls.”

But it is not 5 years ago, it is today. Instead, I am married with kids (two to be precise and perhaps more on the way).  5 years ago, I would have considered my current state of affairs a “worst case scenario,” second only to running out of Shiseido facial moisturizer and blotting paper before a big audition.  Sigh…being an 18 year old, single father of two is truly sobering…

Kids Incorrectly Answer Test Questions in the Most Awesome Way Possible

The good folks at FunnyorDie have compiled the results of some real life tests where the kids not only answered the questions incorrectly, but answered them in the most awesomely incorrect way possible. Now, some may say this is further proof of the failure of our education system. To that, I say, “What the hell are you smoking?!” Seeing these should actually fill you with optimism about our children’s future. Because what other country could produce such insanely creative thinkers than the kids responsible for these. True, these youngsters may not grow up to cure cancer or be President, but I can ensure you that there’s already an unpaid internship waiting for them here at YOMYOMF. God bless America!

Now, check them out: