You are currently browsing all entries tagged with 'Asian women'

Sexiest HIV Awareness Ad Ever

  • March 3, 2012 11:11 pm

YouTube Preview ImageThis goes out to all the KTV (Chinese moniker for karaoke) and hostess bar girls out there! Using protection will “allow you to move forward without losing steam” and also “walk down the street, carefree.” Hmm… kind of like Mary Tyler Moore? This Malaysian Chinese ad is pure genius, especially the part where the ham sap los are rapping about who is faster than a Ferrari This is a pretty progressive awareness campaign, filled with randy fun, doesn’t take itself seriously, but at the same time, drives the point across.

Hmm, I wonder if there’s an Asian Rush Limbaughwho’s enraged right now and using the slut word a lot on the air.

Why ‘American Horror Story’ Would be More Believable with an Asian American Family

  • October 6, 2011 10:40 pm

American Horror Story, the new TV series from Glee creator Ryan Murphy, premiered on FX last night. The premise of the show revolves around a family moving into a haunted house. Now, I love a great ghost story as much as the next guy, but I didn’t watch the show and I don’t think I’m going to.

Why? Murphy’s very talented and the cast includes such heavy-hitters as Jessica Lange so I’m sure it’s a quality program, but I have a big issue with the premise. It’s an issue that I’ve blogged about before and that other astute non-white people like the young and then funny Eddie Murphy have pointed out: why don’t white people who live in houses haunted by evil supernatural forces just move out?

With a TV series like American Horror Story, this issue is even more pronounced. It’s one thing to suspend disbelief and accept that a white family isn’t moving out of a haunted house in a 2-hour movie, but a successful TV show could run for years and years. Which means if the series is a hit, we could spend the next ten years wondering: why the fuck doesn’t that white family get out of the house already?

I’m sure the writers will come up with some clever ways to keep that family in that house, but I’m sorry—I’m not going to buy it. If that house is that haunted and that evil, no one will be stupid enough to stay there that long.  Read more...

More Proof that Asian Women Hate Asian Men and Love Non-Asian Men

  • September 15, 2011 2:19 pm

We get some interesting pingbacks on some of our YOMYOMF blogs and recently I received a pingback on a blog I wrote last year about Non-Asian Women Who Love Asian Men. A site called Date Korean Women included a link to my aforementioned blog on a recent post they wrote entitled “Want to Date an Asian Women? 5 Reasons Why Asian Women Like Non-Asian Men.”

Not sure why they would link to that particular blog when their post is basically a diss on Asian guys and my blog examines the other side of the coin, but I thought I’d go ahead and post their 5 reasons (typos/grammatical errors and all) here ‘cause it’s pretty damn entertaining (though there’s honestly nothing you probably haven’t heard a gazillion times before):

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5 Things Asians Should Avoid According to the Movies

  • July 18, 2011 12:01 am

I know that when many of our readers think of Asians in film, they usually think of negative stereotypes and a general lack of representation. But the movies have also taught us valuable lessons about how to best live our lives. And one way they’ve done this is by showing us what we should steer clear of. So here, according to the movies, are five of the things all Asians should avoid:

1) BEFRIENDING WHITE PEOPLE

Fu Manchu puts his trust in his British colleagues and what happens? They betray him during the Boxer Rebellion leading to the death of his family, which, in turn, leads him to vow to destroy the white race. Ken Watanabe decides to take pity on poor Tom Cruise and schools him in the ways of the Samurai and what happens? Watanabe ends up dead on the battlefield while Cruise gets to bang his hot sister and live happily ever after. Even my fellow Offender Sung taught young Lucas Black how to drift and received thanks in the form of a fiery automobile death robbing him of the chance to appear in the subsequent and lucrative Fast sequels.

The lesson here is don’t befriend and do nice things for white people ‘cause it will lead to death and destruction. So…wait…what? I’m being told that Sung does appear in the subsequent and lucrative Fast sequels. Really? But…but…he’s dead! Yo Justin, what up?

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YOMYOMF Cares: Helping Ugly White Guys With Yellow Fever Bag an Asian Chick

  • June 6, 2011 12:14 am

The other day I was enjoying lunch under the golden arches of a fine dining establishment when I overheard the white dude at the next table talking about how he was attracted to Asian women. As I’ve blogged before, I can’t blame white guys for having the yellow fever ‘cause Asian women are smokin’ hot and there’s nothing else that compares to them in the world. But unfortunately for this particular guy, he was butt ugly and that was going to be a problem.

Now, we’ve all seen ugly white men with good-looking Asian chicks before, but this guy didn’t seem like he had a penny to his name so the “sugar daddy” option was definitely out. Furthermore, he wasn’t just ugly, he was sub-ugly—the type of person who, when he looks in the mirror, hears his reflection say, “Damn, you one ugly motherfucka!” No way he was going to bag a fine Asian sista on his own. And I felt bad that he’d never get close enough to an Asian woman to inhale her delicious Strawberry Pop Tart-ed loveliness. Well, unless someone invents scratch n’ sniff porn (Note to self: invent scratch n’ sniff porn).

So since we care about all our readers at YOMYOMF, we’re going to do our part to help by launching a dating website specifically for all you ugly white guys suffering from a bad case of yellow fever.

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Erotic Encounters Between East And West? Frankly, My Lotus Blossom, I Don’t Give A Damn!

  • June 4, 2010 12:12 am

The East, The West, And Sex: A History Of Erotic Encounters…with a title like that, of course I was going to pick up Richard Bernstein’s latest book. I enjoyed his previous effort (Out Of The Blue: The Story of September 11, 2001, From Jihad To Ground Zero) and the description of his new work sounded fascinating: an exploration of the history of the “erotic” encounters between the Western and Eastern civilizations; operating under the thesis that because sex was never culturally associated with sin in the East (which in his definition includes northern Africa, the Middle East, Asia and the Pacific Islands), the Western (male) explorers who came there suddenly found a whole new sexual world open to them. History, sex and Asian culture: three of my favorite subjects. So far so good, right? Wrong.

I’ve had the book for about three weeks now and have only made it through ¼ of it. Considering I read about three books a week on average, that’s slow and more likely than not, this is it. I’m probably going to stop reading altogether. Why? Because so far, the book feels…creepy. It’s like the literary equivalent of the one white guy who shows up at every Asian event and tries to impress everyone (particularly the women) with his vast “knowledge” of all things Asian.  Read more...

BREAKING NEWS: Asian American Doctors Discover Cure For ‘Yellow Fever’

  • April 1, 2010 1:44 am

Three Asian American doctors announced today that they have invented a drug that will cure yellow fever–not the acute viral disease caused by mosquitoes, but the condition in which non-Asians (usually, but not limited to, white men) sexually fetishize Asians (usually, but not limited to, hot Asian women). The drug will come in the form of a blue pill (blue being the opposite of yellow on the color spectrum). The three doctors—Dr. John Ching, Dr. John Chong and Dr. Jon Chang–made the announcement at a press conference today in their hometown of Rowland Heights, California.

“Yellow fever is a serious condition that affects everyone in our society,” Ching said. “Whether you’re white, black, Asian or miscellaneous/other, there’s a strong likelihood that you or someone you know has been negatively touched by yellow fever.”

The three doctors were so committed to this pursuit that they gave up their research in other fields to focus all their attention on finding a cure for yellow fever. Ching was previously involved in cancer research, Chong in Alzheimer’s research and Chang in HIV/AIDS research. “I was about six months away from finding a cure for AIDS before I left that field,” Chang said. “Some may say I made a mistake, but I knew so many people whose lives have been devastated by yellow fever. I had to do something.”  Read more...

Five Movies Asian Chicks Should Not Take White Guys To See

  • March 11, 2010 3:16 pm

I recently blogged about the films my Asian American brothas should never watch with a white woman they want to mack. Well, I’m all about the equal opportunity and I know there are some Asian American sistas reading this who also have a craving for the white meat. So if that’s you, here are five flicks you should never watch with your white dude if you want to keep him from bolting out your door.

RINGU (1998)

The one that started it all–this is the original Japanese horror film about a girl who seeks vengeance from beyond the grave via a cursed videotape. This is a chick who gets conked in the head and thrown down a deep well–after which the well is tightly sealed. Yet, she still manages to somehow climb out of your TV to fuck you up good. There are people who already think Asian chicks especially Koreans are crazy (not me of course), so do you really want your white man to worry that you’re going to track him down and fuck him up good if he does anything to slight or upset you? Do you want him to think this will happen to him (and yes, that is Hiroyuki Sanada from Lost):  Read more...

A Happy Valentine’s To My Golden Asian Sistas

  • February 13, 2010 2:38 am

The folks behind Atlanta’s MARTA train line came under fire this week for calling their new route to Doraville, with its large Asian American population, the “yellow” line. Bowing to community pressure, it was announced yesterday that the name would be changed to the more acceptable “gold” line.

I was in college during the politically-correct ‘90s when the mantra of “Yellow Power” was commonplace so I don’t necessarily associate “yellow” with its historically negative connotations. But I’ve been arguing for years that we should be referring to ourselves as gold, not yellow. Gold–one of the most valuable things on the planet and the perfect term to describe us. We’re pure gold, baby!

And with that in mind, want to wish a Happy Valentine’s to all our readers but especially to my beautiful golden Asian sistas—whom I consider the most amazing women on earth (with all due apologies to everyone else). And I can’t think of a better way to celebrate our golden ladies than by dedicating Stevie Wonder’s “Golden Lady” to everyone reading this. 

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Chinky Or Not Chinky: Are Asian American Women Slutty?

  • January 8, 2010 12:53 am

Saw this recent post entitled “Are Asian Women Easy For Non-Asian Men?” over at MaSir Jones’ blog. It references a study that came out last year that was conducted by Professor Hyeouk Chris Hahm at Boston University on Asian American women and sexually transmitted diseases (STDs). Hahm was alarmed to find how high the rates of STDs were among Asian American women.

Here’s what she discovered:  Read more...

How To Draw Asian Women?

  • November 19, 2009 1:08 am

Again, with another priceless post. This comes via Disgrasian, with a Youtube clip of “cartoonist and artist extraordinaire” Billy Connolly (sadly not the Scottish comedian who replaced Howard Hesseman in the final season of Head of the Class) giving us a quick lesson on “How to Draw Asian Women.” Okay kids, let’s learn!YouTube Preview Image

What, no LV bag? I dunno, in the end, the drawing looks more like Donatella Versace.

What do you think?

Movies That Should Have Starred Asians: The Apartment

  • September 28, 2009 5:47 pm

Apartment_lemmon_maclaine_smallI often get asked what my favorite movie is. It’s a hard question to answer because, quite frankly, I feel like I have thousands of “favorites” and to choose just one seems like a disservice to all the other great works out there. But if I have to choose, the one movie I’ll select more often than not is Billy Wilder’s 1960 classic The Apartment. It won a slew of Academy Awards including Best Picture and, for once, the movie that deserved to win was the one honored. It’s influenced almost every (quality) romantic comedy that’s come since from Manhattan to When Harry Met Sally (check out the ending of The Apartment, then watch the ending of those two films and you’ll see what I mean). Everything about it works—in my opinion, The Apartment may be the most perfect film ever made. But it’s also a picture that would have had an added emotional resonance had the two lead characters been Asian American.  Read more...