You are currently browsing all entries tagged with 'Asian men'

15 Things Non-Asian Women Should Never Say to an Asian Guy while Having Sex with Him

  • December 18, 2011 11:03 pm

Everyone with half a brain knows that Asian guys are the most virile, masculine and sexually-desirable men on the planet. Yet, for some reason, there still exists this stereotype of Asian males as wimpy, emasculated and asexual. And worse still, there are Asian guys who’ve bought into this stereotype and feel insecure when it comes to the opposite sex, especially non-Asian women.

So with that in mind, if you’re a non-Asian chick and you hook up with a brotha at that holiday party or in the fitting room of your local Forever 21, here are 15 things you probably shouldn’t say while the two of you are gettin’ it on:

1) Kim Jong-Il used to make that same squinty-eyed face when I’d go down on him too. *Sigh* I miss him.

2) Just a heads up—I’m really mad at my racist father and to get back at him I told him we’re having sex so he should be bursting into the room any second now with a shotgun.

3) Why yes, that is a “Property of the Aryan Nation” tattoo on my vagina.

4) If I swallow, will you do my trigonometry homework for me?

5) My bad! I thought being violated by octopus tentacles during sex was normal in your culture.  Read more...

Han vs. Han

  • November 8, 2011 6:20 pm

I’m the last person to judge another actor.  I know most work their ass off and the payoff is little to nothing.  It’s really a marathoner’s journey.  You wanna meet someone with thick skin.  Talk to an actor that’s been going at it for a while.  My attitude towards taking roles is… “All the power to you, do what you got to do to stay around.” To make it all work out so there is a balance between making a living and living your dream takes part magic, part unrelenting effort, part magic, and part magic.

So with that said, let me get to the point.  Over the past few months I’ve read and heard much discontent from Asians and non-Asians over the new network comedy 2 BROKE GIRLS. Here’s a recent Hollywood Reporter article that accuses the show of being racist. I try to ignore soapbox criticism yip yap, soapbox complaining about racist this and that.  It’s so easy to complain and judge from afar.  You try living the life of a struggling actor.  Come to think of it, struggling, before any job title sucks balls.  Read more...

Psychology Today’s Ugly Black Women, Asian Guys & Jungle Fever Time!

  • May 16, 2011 6:27 pm

Yesterday, Psychology Today posted a blog on its site entitled “Why are Black Women Less Physically Attractive Than Other Women?” Written by evolutionary psychologist Satoshi Kanazawa and based on his research, he came to the “objective” conclusion that “black women are significantly less physically attractive than women of other races.” Not surprisingly (unless you spend your days burning crosses in a white hood or work as editors of Psychology Today), the piece was met with immediate outrage and was taken down less than a day later (though you can read it in its entirety here).

Now, I want all the beautiful Black ladies reading this (and I know there are a lot of you) to know that I too am outraged by this article; especially as an Asian American male because we share many similarities when it comes to this issue of “physical attractiveness,” which I’ll expand on in a moment. But first, a quick overview of Kanazawa’s study.

Kanazawa throws around a lot of fancy-sounding terms like “factor analysis” to describe how he got his results. I don’t know what any of that means but it sounds all scientific and official so I’m sure it’s bullshit, but I’ll let others more knowledgeable than me attack him on that. All I know is that through whatever methods, he has reached the conclusion that Black women are “significantly” less attractive than everyone else in existence. But he takes it further and points out that Black women are also delusional and think of themselves as all that when they’re not:

“It is very interesting to note that, even though black women are objectively less physically attractive than other women, black women…subjectively consider themselves to be far more physically attractive than others.”  Read more...

Looking To Snag An Asian Dude? Well, Girl, Then Get Yo Ass To Vietnam!

  • October 29, 2010 12:01 am

Regular readers of this blog know that we often get emails from non-Asian women who dig Asian guys asking for advice on how to snag some of that tasty yellow man meat for themselves. I’ve tried to help these ladies when I can (see past examples here and here), but according to this latest report, the answer to their yellow-fevered prayers may be to get their fine booties over to Vietnam.

It seems the country is about to experience a serious gender imbalance. For every 100 females that are born in Vietnam, 110.6 males are born (compared to the norm of 105). Other Asian nations are also experiencing similar imbalances, but it’s happened over a longer period of time and those rates are starting to even out.

According to Vietnam’s Deputy Prime Minister Nguyen Thien Nhan, this situation may grow so severe that 3 million men will find it difficult to find wives by 2030. While this may sound like a problem for Vietnam, it is a golden opportunity to all of you looking to hook yourself an Asian man.  Read more...

Ten Pick-Up Lines You Should NOT Use On Asian Guys

  • June 7, 2010 12:11 am

In my last post, I promised to give helpful advice to our non-Asian readers who want to date Asian guys. Since I am a man of my word, let’s start with 10 pick-up lines you probably shouldn’t say to an Asian guy:

1. If I have sex with you, can you help me with my Calculus homework?

2. Baby, I have the yellow fever and I think you got the cure! By that I mean I just got back from Africa and I’m showing some of the symptoms of yellow fever and you look like a doctor so I thought you might be able to help me.

3. The kung pao chicken you delivered last night had too much MSG in it.

 Read more...

Mailbag: (Non-Asian) Women Who Love Asian Men

  • June 6, 2010 11:28 am

A few weeks ago, we received the following email from a reader named Alessandra:

I’ve heard a lot of Asian guys complain that “non-Asian girls aren’t into them”, and they often blame emasculating stereotypes for this phenomenon. However, I’m a non Asian girl (white/Dominican) and I feel that when I flirt with Asian guys, they are unresponsive. I’m pretty and have a good sense of humor, so I’m puzzled as to why this is happening. This doesn’t happen to me when I flirt with boys of other races. In fact, I’ve heard this from other non Asian females as well. Philip has given much advice to Asian guys on how to get non Asian girls, but I think non Asian girls need a manual on getting Asian guys. Seriously, the most harmonious of unions can be created between Asian guys and non Asian girls…we just need a lot of help getting there.

This is a topic that I’ve certainly written about more than once on this blog, but Alessandra’s right in that my advice has tended to be directed more at helping the brothas (see examples here and here). I’ve told Alessandra that I’ll try my best to address this issue in the future so to start me off on this endeavor, I asked our non-Asian female readers, via our Twitter and Facebook pages, who have a thing for Asian men to share their thoughts. But before we get to a few of those responses below, here’s some context on this subject:  Read more...

BREAKING NEWS: Asian American Doctors Discover Cure For ‘Yellow Fever’

  • April 1, 2010 1:44 am

Three Asian American doctors announced today that they have invented a drug that will cure yellow fever–not the acute viral disease caused by mosquitoes, but the condition in which non-Asians (usually, but not limited to, white men) sexually fetishize Asians (usually, but not limited to, hot Asian women). The drug will come in the form of a blue pill (blue being the opposite of yellow on the color spectrum). The three doctors—Dr. John Ching, Dr. John Chong and Dr. Jon Chang–made the announcement at a press conference today in their hometown of Rowland Heights, California.

“Yellow fever is a serious condition that affects everyone in our society,” Ching said. “Whether you’re white, black, Asian or miscellaneous/other, there’s a strong likelihood that you or someone you know has been negatively touched by yellow fever.”

The three doctors were so committed to this pursuit that they gave up their research in other fields to focus all their attention on finding a cure for yellow fever. Ching was previously involved in cancer research, Chong in Alzheimer’s research and Chang in HIV/AIDS research. “I was about six months away from finding a cure for AIDS before I left that field,” Chang said. “Some may say I made a mistake, but I knew so many people whose lives have been devastated by yellow fever. I had to do something.”  Read more...

Five Movies Asian Guys Should Not Take White Chicks To See

  • March 1, 2010 12:02 am

As regular readers of my blogs know, I’m all about trying to help my Asian American brothas score with the ladies of the Caucasian persuasion (see here and here for past examples). Perhaps there’s a hot white chick who has already caught your eye and you’re thinking of inviting her over to your bachelor pad for a romantic evening including a DVD you can watch together to get her in the right mood. My fellow Offender Roger has previously blogged about some films that might be appropriate for this occasion, but following is my list of the five movies you must never watch with your white chick if you want to score with her.

MULAN (1998)

Disney’s animated version of the Chinese folk tale about a maiden who becomes one of China’s greatest warrior-heroes is an acclaimed film featuring positive Asian characters that’s sure to tug at your white woman’s heart strings. So then why should you avoid it? Because the plot is about a Chinese woman who successfully pretends to be a man so she can fight in battle. Asian men are emasculated enough as it is in our culture, you don’t want to give your white chick any more fuel to add to that fire. When she’s wondering what’s inside your pants, you don’t want her first thought to be…a vagina.  Read more...

Chinky Or Not Chinky: Are Asian American Women Slutty?

  • January 8, 2010 12:53 am

Saw this recent post entitled “Are Asian Women Easy For Non-Asian Men?” over at MaSir Jones’ blog. It references a study that came out last year that was conducted by Professor Hyeouk Chris Hahm at Boston University on Asian American women and sexually transmitted diseases (STDs). Hahm was alarmed to find how high the rates of STDs were among Asian American women.

Here’s what she discovered:  Read more...

Movies That Should Have Starred Asians: The Apartment

  • September 28, 2009 5:47 pm

Apartment_lemmon_maclaine_smallI often get asked what my favorite movie is. It’s a hard question to answer because, quite frankly, I feel like I have thousands of “favorites” and to choose just one seems like a disservice to all the other great works out there. But if I have to choose, the one movie I’ll select more often than not is Billy Wilder’s 1960 classic The Apartment. It won a slew of Academy Awards including Best Picture and, for once, the movie that deserved to win was the one honored. It’s influenced almost every (quality) romantic comedy that’s come since from Manhattan to When Harry Met Sally (check out the ending of The Apartment, then watch the ending of those two films and you’ll see what I mean). Everything about it works—in my opinion, The Apartment may be the most perfect film ever made. But it’s also a picture that would have had an added emotional resonance had the two lead characters been Asian American.  Read more...

Top Ten Pick-Up Lines Asian American Guys Can Use On White Women

  • September 10, 2009 12:11 pm

pickup_lines_im_asian_do_you_have_asian_in_you_sticker-p217409815600136118qjcl_400I’m sure some of my Asian American brothas reading this have their eyes set on some fine white chick, but may be too shy or emasculated by the racist white man to make a move. Well, fuck that! Do a fellow brotha proud, get out there and go for the gusto! To help you out, I’m passing on my top ten pick-up lines to use on white women. Employ these properly and I guarantee she’ll be letting you shove your Mao Tse Tongue down her throat and you’ll get more succulent and tender white meat than Colonel Sanders.

10. Do you want to go back to my place and play “Jon and Kate plus eight minutes of pure sexual nirvana?”  Read more...

God’s Lonely Men

  • August 6, 2009 12:58 am

taxidriverWhen I heard that a man had walked into a gym outside Pittsburgh on Tuesday and opened fire killing three women and himself, my first thought was—“God, I hope the shooter isn’t Asian.” In this case, the killer turned out to be a 48-year-old Caucasian man named George Sodini. An online blog plus notes found at his home suggested Sodini specifically targeted women for constantly “rejecting” him. Read a pdf excerpt from his online diary here.

Was it wrong for me to assume that the killer may have been an Asian male? After all, there are valid reasons for thinking this—many of our recent high profile shooters have been Asian like in the case of the Virginia Tech massacre by Korean student Seung-Hui Cho.  Read more...