I loved my XBox 360 and I thought she loved me too. We spent many late-night hours journeying through distant, exotic lands, killing invading aliens, driving 200 mph+ on curvy Italian coastlines, etc. But apparently it was just an act. Much like a high-priced escort, the whole thing was just an elaborate GFE to suck as much lust out of my bank account without me knowing. So many games she so slyly convinced me to buy. At $60 a pop, it’s not an inexpensive leisure. I had been living a life of romantic fiction, only to be rudely awakened two weeks ago when I caught my love displaying the unmistakeable guilt of the Red Ring of Death. My heart is now cracked and the wings of hope have forever been plucked from my soul.
I could have let her go, allowing her to die alone in my closet with the jagged scars of the RROD forever cut into my spirit. But I am not a monster. Though she plunged an ice ax into my heart, I called upon the combined forgiveness powers of Jesus, Allah, Yahweh, Buddha, & William Hung and dialed Microsoft 911.
