You are currently browsing all entries tagged with '2012'

Around the Horn: Apocalypse Edition

  • May 14, 2012 2:27 pm

SPOILER ALERT: “2012″

Since I love apocalypse topics,and the end is nearly upon us according to the Mayans, I have two questions.  First question: What is your favorite post-apocalyptic movie?

One of my favorite short stories is “A Boy and His Dog” by Harlon Ellison.  When I heard there was a movie based on it with a young Don Johnson, I thought it would have to be crap.  It turned out to be a bizarre movie, but good in a cult classic kind of way.   And I don’t know why, but every time I go to Japan and I hear a disembodied voice or music over the speaker system in a dark place, I think of this movie.

YouTube Preview Image
(By the way, this is a fan-made trailer that looks so much better than the real trailer.)

Second question: Would you rather be like John Cusack in the movie 2012 fighting tooth and nail to get on the last Chinese-cruise-ship-Noah’s-Ark, or would you rather have a front row seat like Woody Harrelson and go when everyone else does?  On the one hand, chances are the post-apocalyptic world would be pretty bleak and chaotic, with every man/woman fighting for him/herself, but on the other hand, there’s your natural gut instinct to want to survive.  Read more...

DADDY FAN – X Rated Family (car) Fun

  • May 2, 2012 2:03 pm

Well, I finally did it.  I got myself a sports car.  After several decades of pining, lusting, and suffering, I finally mustered up the mojo to satisfy my man itch.

Sort of.

OK, I actually didn’t get a sports car.  I put a deposit on one.

I want this. The CAR, not the photoshopped waif.

And come to think of it, the thing’s not even really a sports car either.  It’s more of an SUV meets minivan meets something fast (and furious 6).

What the heck is wrong with me?  After spending my entire post-puberty life torturing my soul with the mantra, “one day I will get myself a sports car…one day…”, when I finally decide to pull the trigger, I don’t even opt for a sports car.  It’s like going to a strip club for your first time and getting a lap dance from the janitor.  Read more...

Add Your Own Caption: Once More with Feeling Edition

  • December 31, 2011 12:02 am

If you’re not already following us on Facebook, Twitter and our new Tumblr, you’re missing out on a lot of extras you won’t find here on our blog including updates on various Offender-related projects (like the most recent updates about our upcoming YOMYOMF Network on YouTube) and silly, fun things like “Add Your Own Caption.” This is where we post an image we find online or that our readers forward to us and ask you to write an appropriate caption to accompany that image. And we’ll feature some of the captions here.

And the “best” caption for this final week of 2011 comes from reader Aaron Shizuo Aoki:

“Socket to me!"

So check out our Facebook page for future editions of “Add Your Own Caption”, write your own caption and/or “like” the ones you think are worthy and we may share them here.  Read more...

Happy New Year or the Perils of Time Travel

  • December 30, 2011 12:01 am

This is the time when we look back at the past year and think about what we’ve done, where we’ve been, what we’ve learned and how far we’ve come (or maybe not come). I generally eschew these sort of end-of-the-year reflections, but these thoughts have been on my mind because the book I find myself reading as 2011 draws to a close is Evan Mandery’s latest novel Q.

Q is the story of an unnamed male protagonist, a writer/teacher, who is about to marry Quentina Elizabeth Deveril (the titular Q) a.k.a. the love of his life. But just before the wedding, our hero is visited by an old man who claims to be the future version of himself. The old man has indeed traveled back from the future and implores our hero not to marry Q because doing so will lead to dire and tragic consequences later in his life. Once our hero is convinced that his future self is really who he says he is and is serious, he heeds his advice and breaks off his engagement with Q.  Read more...

5 Reasons Why Asians are Best Suited to Survive the Apocalypse

  • August 15, 2011 12:02 am

The Rise of the Planet of the Apes continues to kick ass at the box office for a second week in a row; proving further that the apocalypse/end of humanity is still a topic we just can’t get enough of. Whether it’s zombies (Walking Dead, I Am Legend, 28 Days Later), aliens (Fallen Skies, Battle: Los Angeles) or Mother Nature herself (2012, The Day After Tomorrow), it’s the end of the world as we know it and we apparently feel fine.

But one group that doesn’t feel so fine is Asians. Because, at least according to Hollywood, very few of us seem to be among the survivors of whatever destructive event strikes our planet. Which is bullshit because if you look at the Asian stereotypes we’re all familiar with, we should not only be well represented amongst the survivors, but, hell, if we shouldn’t be thriving. Here’s why:

1) ASIANS EAT ANYTHING

Before you can face the dangers of an apocalyptic hellhole filled with mutated monster freaks, global warming run amok or intelligent apes that sound like Roddy McDowall, you gotta get some food in your belly or you won’t get very far. But in a world where supermarkets, McDonalds and Farmer’s Markets will cease to exist, your culinary options will be severely limited. Unless…you’re Asian.  Read more...

Aflockalypse and Slinky Ships

  • January 12, 2011 12:33 am

By now, you’ve probably heard about the “Aflockalypse”.  It started with thousands of blackbirds falling from the sky and 100,000 drum fish washing up in Arkansas around New Year’s Day.  This quickly became a global phenomenon with reports of 2 million dead fish in Chesapeake Bay, 150 tons of red tilapia in Vietnam, 40,000 crabs in Britain, 1,000 turtle doves in Italy, 100 tons of sardines and catfish in Brazil and the list goes on.  There’s even a google map which is keeping track of all the recent mass animal deaths.

Experts say this is nothing unusual.  Turns out this is pretty common. The causes are usually attributed to disease or cold weather, or in the case of Arkansas, fireworks trauma.

To feed the fuel for conspiracy theorists, however, I find it odd that most of the reports and pictures show mass deaths of only one particular species.  If it’s really cold weather, as most of the recent deaths have been attributed to, how come not all the sea life in a particular region are dying?  Most of the reports and pictures show just one type of crab or just one type of fish or one type of bird.  Why is that?  And fireworks go off all across the U.S. every New Year’s and July 4th, so shouldn’t we all know about the falling bird phenomenon by now?  Shouldn’t we be used to seeing all kinds of birds falling en masse around those times across the country?  How come only now it makes the news?   Read more...

How Hollywood Can Solve the Pacific Garbage Patch Problem

  • March 13, 2010 6:23 pm

By now, everybody must have heard of the gigantic Pacific Garbage Patch—millions of square miles of crap, which consists mostly of tiny pieces of plastic debris, floating in a toxic oceanic vortex. And now, I find out that there’s another garbage patch forming in a gyre in the Atlantic Ocean as well. Apparently, there are 5 gyres in our ocean systems and soon we’ll be over-run with islands of debris that break down into nasty chemicals like bisphenal A, PCBs and derivatives of polystyrene, which are all making its way into our food supply. AAAAAAGGGHHHHH!!!

So I have been thinking of ways to solve this problem, otherwise I won’t be able to get my sushi fix without thinking I’m playing Russian roulette, and I have come to realize that the great creative minds of Hollywood have already come up with some solutions to our woes:  Read more...

Roland Emmerich is a Chinese Spy?

  • November 23, 2009 2:22 am

No, the venerable movie schlockmeister, who’s recent FX-laden disaster flick, 2012, is raking up the box office moolah across the globe, is not in collusion with the Chinese government. Well, I don’t think so anyway. Whatever the case,  2012 has ignited patriotism among Chinese moviegoers. Why? Because in the movie, all roads point to China because of geography, finances, labor and good ole Chinese tenacity. Apparently, when the Apocalypse comes, China will save the world….

Hollywood blogger Anne Thompson wrote about her foreign exchange student daughter’s viewing experience, who saw the film in Kunming, China. Thompson’s daughter reports:  Read more...