Why else would we have sent me this link?

I don’t get it.  Sung and I have known each other for eight years now.   We’re not exactly friends, but we’re more than acquaintances.  At the very least, we’re “fracquaintances.”  At least that’s how I see it.  I thought he saw it that way, too, but now I’m not so sure.  I mean, if I saw him across the street, I wouldn’t just wave, I’d cross the street and say hi, and we’d catch up with some small talk about mutual friends, what we’ve been up to, how life is going.

And if he thinks I’m getting a little chunky, I wish he’d just come out and say it directly.

It’s like this: I’ve never hung out with Sung one on one, but if we find ourselves in a group setting, there’s a little extra connection there, like running into an old friend from high school.   When this situation has arisen – the group situation – we immediately smile and hug.

Guess I thought we had a special connection.  Guess I was wrong.

And getting back to the fat thing, the funny thing is, I think of myself as being on the thin side.  I do have a little extra cushion around the mid-section, but who doesn’t?  You have to go the gym 7 days a week to fight that little bit of evolutionary insulation.   I wouldn’t even call it a spare tire.  It’s more like an extra belt.

When I sit down and hunch over, several folds of skin and fat become visible above my waist.  Obviously Sung thinks that means I’m fat.  I just think when skin folds, it can look like fat.  And so what?   So I have a little fat, big deal.  Some of us aren’t trying to be models.

Frankly, I think I have a healthy body image.

And Sung didn’t even have the courage to send me this “note of concern” alone.  He sent it to six other people from his address book as well.  Now I don’t know the other people: maybe they’re fat, maybe they’re not.  But I can’t help but think Sung surrounded his note to me with the other people so as not to make me feel singled out.

Well, it back fired.

Sung, I wish you’d just tell me directly how you feel.  I will not be taking those raspberry drops, not to spite you, but because I am genuinely comfortable with my body.

Know what?  Maybe you feel fat.  Maybe that’s the issue.  Did you ever think about that?

But why are we bickering like this?  This is silly.  Okay, I’m just going to come out and say it.  If someone asked me, “what is your relationship with Sung?” I’d answer, “We’re kind of friends.”  There.  I said it.  “We do best in a group setting – with a buffer, an outlet pass built-in – but still, there’s some genuine affection and warmth there.”

Don’t know about you – not anymore, anyway – but I’d cross the street to say hi.

If you’d rather not cross the street, fine.  Whatever.  Just e-mail me and let me know.  But e-mail just me – don’t hide behind your other “friends.”

Sincerely, A