Ahh, my ears are bleeding!

I was yelled at while at work. The reason for my yelling?

I don’t speak Spanish.

Yes, I was one of those unfortunate people who took French in high school and continued with it in college. I tried in vain to take Spanish while taking French for a while, but trying to learn two languages that are similar and yet so different had me mixing my words and lowering my test scores so I stopped. Figure I’d read more Moliere anyway.

I was naive. I loved learning a new language and the cultural idioms that comes with it (“Mon oeil!”) but when you’re 14 and asked to choose between French and Spanish for your language requirement, I chose French because less people knew it and I could use it as a secret language on the bus between my friends and me. Besides, Spanish was so prevalent in California, I figured I’d pick up a class in it eventually or learn from watching my friends screaming back at their parents.

Well, 10 years later, I’m still pretty bad at Spanish. I know how to point to things and say the word for it (“basura“, “telefono”, “papel”) or say quick phrases (“go straight“, “Wait a minute”, “thank you” “please”) but that’s it.

However, I now see that my choice sucked.

You see, I was working an event in San Antonio, TX, which is an area where French would do very little good for me. However, I was setting up a new location for a school and had a chance to meet the parents of some of the students. As in some cases with English-as-a-second-language families, I ended up talking to the little child. The little child -who spoke English- would turn to her mother and dutifully translate as best as she could. I understand this isn’t an ideal situation -I’ve been that very same child growing up and writing the letters to Pacific Gas and Electric for my parents- but in case her mom wanted a Spanish speaker, I gave her a company card and explained that my two colleagues ‘Emilia’ and ‘Maria’ spoke Spanish and would be in the office between these hours and are great at answering any questions she might have.

So here to help you! :)

But when she did call the office, it was to explode and yell at the office for not sending a Spanish-speaker. What an irresponsible company! I was apparently the worse person to send, despite the fact that the two people who could speak Spanish had different assignments that weekend and guess who is sent…. yup, that yucky non-Spanish speaker.

And in turn, for the first time, I was offended. I was offended because despite not being able to speak Spanish, did I not try to treat her with the same human respect I show for all my students’ parents? Did I not try to help her find someone who could help translate? Is my company at fault because their entire workforce isn’t bilingual?

I accept I am at fault for not learning Spanish -darn you naivety!- and learning Spanish has now jumped a few priorities up my to-do list (right above learning how to use PowerPoint and Twitter…I’m already seriously playing catch up). But why is she so angry? Why can’t I be angry that she didn’t meet me half way? I speak perfectly bad Spanglish! She probably speaks bad Spanglish too! We could drink a couple of margaritas using Cabo Wabo tequila and eat tacos with American grass-fed beef! We both could watch Adam Sandler’s Spanglish and both agree that Paz Vega does look like Penelope Cruz! Isn’t there a middle ground? It’s like watching The Artist, which of us has to change to make the world work for both of us?