Yes, I was unironically eating my beloved Cool Ranch Doritos while catching up on the news when I heard that Doritos inventor Arch Clark West passed away last week at the age of 97.
Now, I love Doritos. And frankly, I don’t know anyone who doesn’t love them too. Except pedophiles and serial killers and Communists who hate puppies. I’ve been enjoying them for as long as I remember and will most likely be enjoying them until the day I die. But I had never heard of West before.
Considering how much something like Doritos has been a part of my life, I’ve never given any thought to where they came from or the fact that they were even invented by a real, breathing human being.
West launched Doritos in 1966 after a visit to Mexico, where he discovered fried tortilla chips. They quickly became one of the most popular snack items in the world, currently sold in over 20 countries with global sales around $5 billion. And West has continued to be at the forefront of the Doritos revolution—having taste tested (and supposedly hated) the new Late Night All Nighter Cheeseburger flavored Doritos just a few weeks ago.
West’s remains will be laid to rest this Saturday and his friends and family are expected to throw Doritos into the grave with him. In honor of this sad occasion, I too will follow their example and pour a bag of Doritos out on the sidewalk to pay my respects where they will remain until the raccoons eat them up or my neighbors call me to “clean the fucking mess in front of the house.”
But it’s the least I can do to say thank you to a man I never knew, but who touched my life profoundly. Stay cheesy, my friends.