This Week in Internet Awesomeness: Pre-Natal “Tootsie Roll”

YOWZAAbout to give birth to her second child at Brigham and Women’s Hospital in Boston, Yuki Nushizawa decided it was time to break out the “Tootsie Roll” for the nurses in attendance. Supposedly, this helped ease the labor pains, but that could be an excuse to cover the real reason: the uncontrollable need to get down. Check out the video below, Nushizawa and her husband are hoping to get to 1 million views ‘cause baby needs some diapers:

And just in case anyone was curious, the actual birthing process appears to have gone well:

Defeat Your Enemies in This Game and Watch Your Boobs Get Bigger


D3 Publisher is a Japanese video game company that’s not exactly known for its high-brow intentions. And here’s exhibit #1 to support this point: Their upcoming game is titled Omega Labyrinth and as you can see from the logo below, it’s all about the boobs.


Specifically, this is a game where defeating your enemies means your character will get the one thing she most desires…bigger breasts. Like so:

Cancer: The Battle, The Journey (update #4)

Six weeks after being diagnosed with Stage 4 pancreatic cancer, Gabrielle Burton, with characteristic candor, gets down to brass tacks: HAIR.


Update #4, 7-28-14

Vanity, vanity, all is vanity
Hair today gone tomorrow

Hair #1: “With this particular chemo mix, your hair may thin but you won’t go bald,” my oncologist said at my first chemo session.

“Well, I know I won’t be able to dye my hair because hair dye is poison, I said.
He gestured to the iv dripping into my port. “That is poison we are putting into you. You can dye your hair.”



The Ding Dong Ice Cream Sandwich Regret


It’s been awhile since I’ve been to Carl’s Jr. and today I had a Famous Star craving. So after sitting on my ass and surfing the net all morning working out at the gym all morning, I thought I’d treat myself and walked into the nearby Carl’s Jr. But lo and behold, a surprise was awaiting me. Not just any surprise but this:


Holy shitballs, it’s a Ding Dong ice cream sandwich! I didn’t even know such a thing existed, let alone available at Carl’s Jr. for a limited time only. I don’t think I’ve had a Ding Dong since I was a kid but have many fond memories of them and the thought of an ice cream sandwich with Ding Dongs as the receptacle for the ice cream—pure heavenly genius. And they’re only $1.49! That’s what they call a bargain.

“Warriors – and those other 20+ gangs – Come Out To Play” (1-10)


On one sweltering night in The Bronx, a charismatic young man named Cyrus, leader of the city’s most powerful street gang, “The Gramercy Riffs,” calls a summit of all the city’s gangs to propose a truce so they can create an alliance to take control of the whole city. During the summit, however, Cyrus is murdered by an anarchistic member of a minor gang, “The Rogues,” who in turn frame another minor gang, “The Warriors,” for Cyrus’ murder.


The Warriors must then make it back to the safety of their home turf in Coney Island before the rest of the city’s gangs catch up with them and take them out for killing Cyrus.


Above: Cyrus’ #2. You might want to rethink killing Cyrus.

Yup. “The Warriors.”


How has this movie not been remade?!? With all the crappy reboots out there, where is the gritty “Training Day”-esque update of “The Warriors?” Fifty bucks says it has to have been bouncing around in Development Hell for at least the last two decades.

This Japanese Restaurant Owned by a Porn Star is Serving Shit-Flavored Curry


The Curry Shop Shimuzu, a real restaurant in Tokyo, is serving shit-flavored curry. And to make the experience even more…uh, “realistic,” the shit-flavored curry is being served in a little Japanese toilet:


Now, being a sane person, you may be asking yourself, “but why would any restaurant serve a shit-flavored dish?”

And the correct answer would be: because they can. It seems the goal of the Curry Shop Shimuzu is to be the “first” at something—well, anything, really—so why not be the first to serve shit-flavored food? Yup, makes complete sense to me.

Once again being a sane person, your next question might be, “but how do they know what shit really tastes like?”

Around the Horn: Where’s James Bond?


I recently saw the trailer for the next James Bond installment SPECTRE and felt a sense of sadness because I could no longer recognize James Bond as James Bond. The franchise has noticeably been moving in a moody, forboding direction – more of an action-noir than escapist romp. But now he feels less like James Bond and more like the lovechild of Jason Bourne and Chris Nolan’s iteration of Bruce Wayne/Batman…Where’s the international playboy? The indulgence in the lifestyle? Bond savoring a martini that’s shaken, not stirred. Hot women coo-ing “Oh…James” after a nightcap? Are those escapist elements a staple of a bygone era that no longer has relevance today? Has the 2008 financial meltdown sobered us all up including Bond? And we just can’t let our spies have fun while saving the world without thinking about our wasted tax dollars?

I do miss the old James Bond films and I think the best ones have the title song that captures the decade. The cheeky 60s GOLDFINGER, the psychedelic 70s LIVE AND LET DIE. And even the trashy 80s VIEW TO A KILL. Though that film is not the best from the period (I prefer the campy MOONRAKER) I give them pop culture cred for using Duran Duran for the title song and Grace Jones for a hench-woman cameo.

Which is your favorite Bond film? Do you think the playfulness and indulgence of that character is no longer relevant?

YOMYOMF Rewatch: The Yakuza (1974)


FILM: The Yakuza (1974)
DIRECTOR: Sydney Pollack
PLOT LOGLINE: An ex-American GI returns to Japan to help his friend whose daughter has been kidnapped by the Yakuza. In order to rescue the girl, he must seek out the brother of his ex-lover who himself was the head of a Yakuza clan.

The idea for this movie came from co-writer Leonard Schrader who had lived in Japan and become fascinated with the Yakuza. Schrader originally planned to write a non-fiction book on the subject, but his brother Paul convinced him that they should collaborate on a screenplay instead. Their script sold for $325,000, which at the time, was the highest amount that any studio had paid for a screenplay. Famed writer Robert Towne (Chinatown) came on board to do some re-writes and Paul Schrader, himself, went on to write or co-write such classics as Taxi Driver and Raging Bull.

These are Pretty Blatant Brand Knock-offs

The good folks at Bored Panda have compiled pics of some pretty blatant (and funny, I might add) brand rip-offs/knock-offs/clear violations of copyright. And not surprisingly, most of them (but not all) are from Asia. Here’s a sampling:




Confronting my Own Mortality or Carpa Diem-ing that Big Ass Deep Dish Pizza


I went in for my annual physical the other day and like for many others after hitting the other side of 40, a bit of fear creeps in. It’s normal to think more about your mortality as you get older and I’m no different. But what I realized is that what I fear in this regard might be different than what others fear.

For most folks, the big fear is probably along the lines of–“what if I find out I have a fatal disease and have only a limited time to live?” But for me, while learning that I’ll die soon wouldn’t be a good thing, it’s not something that worries me too much either. I think I’ve had a pretty interesting life so I could come to accept that. No, what truly frightens me is something else. The absolute worst news I could hear from my doctor would be something more to the effect of:

“I’m sorry, but you can no longer eat things like hot dogs or pizza or Korean bbq or steaks or deep-fried Twinkies or anything else that makes life worth living.”

Cancer: The Battle, The Journey (update #3)

One month after being diagnosed with Stage 4 pancreatic cancer, my friend Gabrielle Burton talks about chemo, a crowded house, and, as she puts it, “doing nothing fully.” update3.4

UPDATE #3 July 10, 2014

My dear friends and family, Things are going well. I have my 3rd chemo today, and we’re still evolving the domestic routine. Yesterday Ani, Jennifer’s husband, and our oldest grandchild Roger, 12, arrived from India, so the whole gang’s in town now, 20 in all–a few sleeping here, more sleeping at Ursula’s, stuff at Charity’s. Baggage and stuff is our biggest problem, but the rentals didn’t pan out, too far away to be convenient or TOO EXPENSIVE (Roger and I could make a killing renting out our cottage, but then we’d just want another place here at the beach.)



I Want to Go to There: Ramen-Flavored Ice Cream

The Cup O’Noodles Museum in Yokohama, Japan is celebrating a milestone of 4 million visitors by offering ramen-flavored soft serve ice cream.


Let me repeat lest you think you read that incorrectly: there is ramen-flavored ice cream! And not just one, but two different flavors: soy sauce and curry!


Yes, Marilyn Monroe GIF, we do indeed live in a wonderful world.