SAF Seeking… Acceptance

I'm baaaaaaaaack!!!!

I’m baaaaaaaaack!!!!

Well, apparently it wasn’t a miscarriage.

I was sick a couple of weeks ago and since work wouldn’t allow me to come into the office (although I had a tower of stuff to do that was time-sensitive and no one else to do it), I decided to go to the doctor and get swabbed for strep throat which was making the rounds in Oakland. Hey, while I’m at the doctor’s, I should just go toddle off to the OB/GYN and make sure all that miscarriage stuff is cleared out of me just in case.

So imagine my surprise after being gagged with a strep swab and then poked by an ultra sound wand and a chuckle of “Well, you’re still pregnant.”
-”No I’m not.”
-”Yes you are.”
-”No I’m not.”
-”Look at the monitor.”

No, a Douchebag Chinese Billionaire Didn’t Die After being Hit by a Champagne Bottle Cork

Screen shot 2014-08-09 at 3.50.48 PM

So you may have seen the story making the internet rounds this past week about Hong Kong-based billionaire Dingxiang Loeng’s apparent death at his 50th birthday party after opening a possibly counterfeit champagne bottle and getting hit in the head by the cork. In fact, you may have been one of the many who passed this story around proclaiming that the douchebag billionaire got what he deserved and that it was karma, etc…

Only problem is once again, turns out the story is complete and utter bullshit.

This alleged news was first reported in the World News Daily which, like the Onion, is a fake news site, but got picked up by legitimate sites like Boing Boing that reported it as a real story.

SAF Seeking… Laughter. Fleeting. Perfection.

guest_offenderANNIKA

Annika is a 28 year old Cambodian Vietnamese Chinese French American who recently returned to school to finish a bachelor’s degree in computer science and linguistics. Her hobbies and interests include swimming, cooking, baking, writing, reading, math, symbolic logic, learning foreign languages, and drinking espresso – and of course, boys.

You funny!!!

You funny!!!

He’s laughing.

“What are you laughing about?” I say.

We were, predictably, in bed after a long, few hours of dinner, wine, talking, smoking, listening to music, hand-holding, cuddling on the couch on the balcony, and getting to know each other through words and gestures.

A cigarette break on the balcony with him sitting on the couch while embracing me from behind, his head resting itself on my lower back, as I leaned over the rail, facing away from him puffing smoke into the warm Hollywood night. He pulls me onto his lap to exchange some words that, at this moment, I don’t remember because I was so lost in the moment. I remember nodding my head and leaning in to kiss him for the first time which, inevitably, led to very sensuous bodily movements and my suggestion that we take this into his bedroom just five feet away which then led into me taking my clothes off and him following suit in my disrobement to reveal one of the best male bodies I had seen all year and then him putting on a condom for… two seconds of sex.

Literally two seconds.

DRUNK HISTORY Retelling of Daniel Inouye and the 442nd

GUARDIANSDRUNK HISTORY, currently on Comedy Central, has a brilliant but simple concept — Drunk comedians retelling a historical event. Most of it is accurate, some of it is not. And man, some of these guys are so drunk, they’ll have to take some puking breaks to get a tad sober to finish their tale. Reenactments are filmed to accompany the drunk retelling and usually, the results are pure hilarity.

It’s cool that DRUNK HISTORY is doing a Hawaii episode, with one of the stories about the late Senator and WWII hero Daniel K. Inouye and his experiences serving in the 442nd regiment, the most celebrated regiment in US military history. Steve Yeun of THE WALKING DEAD, portrays a young Inouye and James Hong plays his dad.

Porn Titles Upworthy Style

We’re all familiar with the Upworthy style inspirational headlines like “This Blind and Deaf Girl Took to the Stage and What Happened Next Will Blow Your Mind.” But have you ever wondered what would happen if you applied these Upworthy style headlines to porn videos? Well, the good folks at Pornhub did with the creation of Fapworthy (if you click on the link, know it’s NSFW). Check out a sampling of some of the headlines for real porn videos below:

double

student

women

blackman

Yup, the Panda Express Orange Chicken Burrito is a Real Thing & I Ate It

Panda Express Innovation Kitchen in Pasadena. Opened July 2014.

Panda Express Innovation Kitchen in Pasadena. Opened July 2014.

I know I’ve dissed Panda Express before, but I’ve also admitted that I do enjoy it every now and then. So when I heard of the recent opening of the Panda Express Innovation Kitchen and that it was just miles from the YOMYOMF offices in Pasadena, California, of course I had to try it (as far as I know, this is the sole location so far). But what clinched it for me was knowing that the menu included an orange chicken burrito.

Yup, you heard that right—a Panda Express orange chicken burrito.

assemblyline

So my fellow Offender Anderson and I headed over there for lunch today. The first thing we both noticed was that this was the cleanest Panda Express we’ve ever been to. There’s even a lounge area where you can sit in comfy chairs and watch TV while you’re eating.

Satoshi Kon – Editing for Space & Time by Tony Zhou

Bay area-based editor Tony Zhou produces some amazing and very informative short videos showcasing the editing prowess and style of master filmmakers around the world. I like his videos because they’re succinct, has strong examples, and his elucidates ideas very well. I personally like his video on Edgar Wright’s visual comedy style and his series on Steven Spielberg’s many famous “oners”.

Zhou knows his stuff. Case-in-point, the video above, highlighting the transcendent editing of the late and great animator Satoshi Kon. His works are some of the most seminal and amazing milestones of Japanese anime, including PERFECT BLUE, MILLENNIUM ACTRESS, TOKYO GODFATHERS and PAPRIKA. Although his output was not abundant, Kon’s work influenced the likes of Darren Aronofsky and Christopher Nolan (PAPRIKA in particular, is a major inspiration of INCEPTION).

YouTube Stars More Popular (and Diverse) with American Teens Than “Mainstream” Counterparts

Hollywood trade publication Variety found the results of their most recent survey “surprising”, but for those of us familiar with the digital world, what they discovered is old news. Variety surveyed American teens ages 13-18 to find out who their most influential celebrities were and YouTube personalities handily beat out their “mainstream” counterparts. Here’s the ranking of the top 20 in order:

youtube-stars-shine-brightest

The top five most influential to this demographic are all homegrown YouTube stars including our YOMYOMF Network partner Ryan Higa at #5. The most popular “mainstream” star, Paul Walker, doesn’t clock in until #6, followed by Jennifer Lawrence at #7.

Not only that, but if you compare the YouTubers vs. the traditional celebrities, you’ll see that the YouTubers represent a much more diverse line-up. The mainstreamers are fairly lily white while the YouTubers include several people of color including two who are Asian American: Higa and Michelle Phan at #17. Yup, two of the most popular celebrities among American teens are Asian American and like the other YouTube talent on this list, they are mostly unknown to the mainstream population hence the “surprising” findings. But, frankly, it’s only surprising to those who don’t have their hands on the pulse of youth culture.

The Invasion of the Pikachus

Last week, I blogged about the upcoming Pikachu event in Yokohama, Japan. Well, for those of you who have been wondering when this glorious event would get going, I give you this:

pa-1

The official Pikachu Tairyou Hassei Chu (“An Outbreak of Pikachus”) Pokémon event doesn’t start until August 9, but the first wave of 50 Pikachus have already descended on the city’s Akarenga Plaza to stake their territory. And holy fuck if this isn’t the most adorable thing:

Star-Lord was co-created by Filipino-Chinese comic book artist Steve Gan

YOMYOMF4

GUARDIANSAs GUARDIANS OF THE GALAXY rakes in $94 million in its opening weekend, garnering the third best opening of 2014 and the best August opening ever, most comic fans are pretty happy with this adaptation of what many critics are calling Marvel’s answer to STAR WARS.

However, in our final YOMYOMF’s Summer Blockbuster Showdown, we all generally enjoyed the film but lamented that the film did not cast any Asian actors in the film, and hey, everyone knows that Asians make the best alien species, because frankly, some white people think we’re aliens already (we were once called “celestials” in the 19th century). But to our surprise, we were informed that WWE wrestler-turned-actor Dave Bautista (Drax the Destroyer) is, in fact, half Filipino! Well, tying into the Filipino connection, the co-creator of Star-Lord aka Peter Quill is none other than Filipino naturalized citizen of Chinese descent, Steve Gan, who co-created the character with writer Steve Englehart. The character first appeared in the January 1976 issue of MARVEL PREVIEW #4. Check out a page from that issue:

YOMYOMF’s Summer Blockbuster Showdown — GUARDIANS OF THE GALAXY!

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GUARDIANSSelect Offenders will be reviewing this summer’s crop of Hollywood tentpole films with a scientifically tested set of criteria that was vetted, nurtured, dissected and regurgitated through the pop-culture gadflies who have nothing better to do than annoy other productive people in the YOMYOMF office. So, we channeled their nitpicks of the incessant reboots, remakes and rehashes that are part and parcel with Hollywood summer movies into this ongoing summer blog series called the SUMMER BLOCKBUSTER SHOWDOWN. You can read previous roundtable reviews, which are all archived here

In this final edition of our summer-long SUMMER BLOCKBUSTER SHOWDOWN, we review the latest contribution to the Marvel Cinematic Universe, GUARDIANS OF THE GALAXY. BTW, this roundtable review is chock full of spoilers. You’ve been warned!