I Like Big Hamster Butts and I Cannot Lie…

WAH_WAH

If you like big butts and hamsters, this facebook page is for you. Yes, you can enjoy the many lovely pics of various hamster ass or upload your own.

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It’s all to mark the publication of a new Japanese book entitled Hamuketsu (aka “Hamster Butts”). So yes, there is also a book devoted to hamster ass.

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Hip Hop Awards China in Shenzhen

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Before my trip, I started asking my friends on WeChat, the most important social networking and communications app in China, if they knew about the hip hop dance scene in China. Filmmaker Fan Popo hooked me up with a friend who then introduced me to Come Lee who said he was organizing the Hip Hop Awards China in Shenzhen. I had never been to Shenzhen before so I thought it would be an excellent opportunity to check out both the city and the hip hop scene there.

[I got to present an award to the ultra-talented Han Yu]

Custom Coffee

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“If you have a minute, I have some in my car.”

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That’s what my favorite bank teller (yes, I have a favorite bank teller), Eyasu “Josh” Felleke, told me, after we started chatting about coffee.  He had read a post I wrote about a latte I enjoyed at particular coffee shop in Berkeley.

“I know the Elmwood Café,” he said one day as he was waiting for my deposit receipt to pop up, “it’s one of my favorite places.”

“How can you not love it – they still have an old soda fountain like it was 1955.”

“I know, right?”

“Still can’t decide whether I like the taste – or the smell – of coffee better.”

Reason #886 Why White People Don’t Need to Worry about Affirmative Action: Teen who Sued Parents gets $56k Scholarship

WAH_WAHYou may remember 18-year-old Rachel Canning. Last month, she sued her parents to make them pay her for “child support and college tuition”. A judge denied her claim for immediate assistance, she moved back in with her folks and dropped the lawsuit. And that should have been the end of another story of a teen with entitlement issues bitch slapped back to reality by karma.

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But, alas, karma obviously works in fucked-up mysterious ways because Canning has announced that she has received a $56,000 scholarship to attend Western New England University. That amount will most likely cover all her expenses for her first year.

So what lesson should we take away from this story?

I Will Never Know Whether She Stole The $500 Or Not

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I got in just before closing on a Friday afternoon.  It was 5:53 and I was running behind.  The security guard had already unlocked the entry door gate and was just waiting seven more minutes until he could shut and lock it.

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I was the only customer in the bank.  I had deposits to make for both bars and didn’t want to keep anybody from their weekend plans, least of all me.

I Want to Go to There: The Kit Kat Pizza

Last week, I wrote about my first taste of the red hot chili pepper Kit Kat which is only available in Japan and yes, it was as wonderful as its name makes it out to be (and I mean that unironically).

Now, comes the news that Japanese pizza and café chains will be serving…a Kit Kat Pizza!

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What the what?!!!

Around the Horn: Bucket List Edition

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Don’t want to bring things down too much, but death’s been on my mind recently–last week, we lost two people who were connected to YOMYOMF in their own ways. One of the workers in the real estate office next to our YOMYOMF office passed away of an unexpected heart attack as did Cira Felina Bolla (from cancer) who was the DP on my fellow Offender Alfredo’s YOMYOMF Network series REALITY REBOOT. I didn’t know either particularly well, but both were young and seemed to be full of life so it was shocking to hear about those losses.

Of course, we all have suffered similar losses and know all too well that death can come unexpectedly but things like this really remind you of that. It makes you aware of your own mortality and that of those around you and, at least for me, makes me think of all the things I’ve always wanted to do, but seem to never get around to i.e. the bucket list.

I don’t really have grand ambitions on my bucket list–i.e. things like climbing Mount Everest–for me, what I want is pretty simple: to be able to comfortably do what I love to do, be around good friends and family and to support them, etc… But the one thing I have always been saying I want to do is take my parents on regular vacations. We used to do family vacations all the time when I was growing up, but I have to say it’s been a long time since we’ve all been together that way. And as my parents are getting on in years, doesn’t make sense to keep putting it off so I think this summer, will make that happen. Perhaps we finally do that Alaskan cruise or the tour of Machu Picchu we’ve been talking about.

What about everyone else? What’s on your bucket list?

SAF Seeking… The shouldas of home remodeling

Why can't my room look more put together than my actual state of mind?!?! Argh!!!

Why can’t my room look more put together than my actual state of mind?!?! Argh!!!

Ah! This is why we pay professionals!!!!

I am armed -armed I tell you!- with $3000!!! Yes I am! $3000 hard-fought American dollars to remodel my new condo! Woooo hooooo!!

That’s enough right? To redo the counters, replace the flooring, fix the electrical, AND buy a storage bed from IKEA yes?

Yup. Yes I am.

Yup. Yes I am.

SAF Seeking… Freedom from the Friend Zone

guest_offendersANNIKA

Annika is a 28 year old Cambodian Vietnamese Chinese French American who recently returned to school to finish a bachelor’s degree in computer science and linguistics. Her hobbies and interests include swimming, cooking, baking, writing, reading, math, symbolic logic, learning foreign languages, and drinking espresso – and of course, boys.

keep-calm-and-you-will-get-out-of-the-friend-zone-4 Hello CB, 

I thought, that we could maybe be friends, but after the argument between Annika and me on Wednesday with apparently total breakup, it probably won’t happen. You are good friends with Annika, and I believe that she would not find it well, if there is still contact. Thus, best regards and be well. 
Andreas

The email was written in German and this is my rough translation. It was my most recent ex’s third and apparently final attempt to cockblock / instigate / get CB to ask questions about our situation. Of the two dozen or so dates I’ve been on since the break up, CB was the only one I ever really, truly liked — and he is the most aloof (psychoanalysts, get your pens ready).

The Serendipitous Spectator

I was given the infamous hand by casting director Poping Auyeung on the street of Hong Kong

I was given the infamous hand by casting director Poping Auyeung on the street of Hong Kong

A month ago, I made plans to come to the Hong Kong Filmart where I was offered some incentives from the American Consulate. I was then put on a seminar to pitch some investors from Guangzhou. And who knew I would be going to Guangzhou on Monday to scout out the city where theoretically my ancestors were from?

So far, the market has been an amazing opportunity to meet with old filmmaking colleagues and make new contacts. I was talking to many industry folks who seemed to rank the Hong Kong Filmart as the essential market to attend for Asia, over Pusan and Beijing. I will be in Beijing for the BJIFF Filmart and will find out how it is.

Do I Really Need to Write About This? (Stephen Colbert Edition)

HYSTERIA

Yes, I am aware of the controversy that flared around a tweet sent out by the Colbert Report yesterday. Here’s the “offending” tweet in question if you don’t know what I’m referring to:

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The tweet was taken from a piece that Stephen Colbert aired on his late night show Wednesday night poking fun at Washington Redskins owner Dan Snyder on the controversy over his team’s name. Of course, some folks were outraged by the tweet in question and that was enough to let fly accusations of racism and a call for Colbert’s show to be cancelled, which led to a backlash against those who were outraged with more racist and sexist tweets and…yes, I’m bored of it already.

Oh, did I also mention our favorite “I can be Asian when it suits my purposes” pundit Michelle Malkin even got in the act, in support against Colbert:

‘Breaking Bad’ Chinese Bootleg Flavah

Sometimes things get “lost in translation” with our Asian brethren and this Chinese bootleg edition of Breaking Bad season 5 is a good example of this:

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Didn’t realize the show was as wacky and hilarious as this packaging makes it out to be (“Danger Funny!” indeed) or that it starred a Malcolm in the Middle-era Bryan Cranston and his sitcom wife, Jane Kaczmarek.

And if you’re not sure what Breaking Bad was about, let the blurb on the box fill you in: