Men with Bigger Bellies Have Better Sex Because Science

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So I want the ladies reading this to know that if I choose to eschew six-pack abs, I’m doing it all for you. According to a new scientific study, men with bigger bellies last longer in bed than those with the more traditionally thinner, washboard abs.

In fact, guys with guts are able to perform the nasty for an average of 7.3 minutes while those without guts only averaged 2 minutes. It seems that men with more belly fat produce more of the hormone estradiol which helps to inhibit orgasms because…science. Thus, leading to longer lovemaking.

So ladies, when you’re looking for a sex partner who will truly satisfy you, remember to just say no to this:

Happy Korean American Day!

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Yup, today January 13 is Korean American Day—the day to celebrate all things related to my peeps.

So order up that AYCE galbi and kimchi and soju, fire up those final episodes of the John Cho-starring Selfie on Hulu and make love to your significant other while fantasizing that they’re actually him:

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Or her:

So Building a Snowman Just Became Unacceptable if You’re a Muslim?

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At least according to Saudi cleric Mohamed Saleh Al Minijed who just issued a fatwa (religious edict) banning the building of snowmen and apparently snow camels.

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Why? Because when you build a snowman, you are trying to “replicate human beings with eyes, a nose and a head” and that is clearly a no-no. Ok, that’s certainly an original reason, but he does make one exception if you must build a snowman: make it headless.

“Hey kids, come out and see this cool snowman I built. Without a head!” Not traumatic at all.

Around the Horn: Show Me Your Weapons!

Both the recent terror attacks on Sony and Charlie Hebdo have made me contemplate and treasure all the more the idea of freedom of speech.  Most of us here are creative people and I remember how Justin told me that the original idea of YOMYOMF was that anything could be said about any topic, no matter how irreverent.  We would, after all, be called “Offenders”.   I, for one, would not want to live in a world where we could not have the freedom of expression we have today.

In my opinion, there is no real religion, Islamic or otherwise that would condone its followers to target unarmed, defenseless people.  These and other terrorists are simply thugs hiding not only under their black masks, but under the masks of religion to commit violent acts.  By shouting “Allahu Akbar” as their excuse, their desecration of Islam is far worse than any cartoonist’s.

So in lieu of our normal Around the Horn question, I would like to express solidarity with Charlie Hebdo and Parisians, and say “screw you” to terrorists around the world.  Offenders, please take a photo of your weapon of choice.

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Chinky or Not Chinky: Margaret Cho on the Golden Globes

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So when comedian Margaret Cho made an appearance during tonight’s Golden Globes ceremony as a North Korean film journalist/Army General, it was bound to elicit some negative response. And sure enough, social media did not disappoint with reactions like these:

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Check out this iPhone case that will make you look like a nunchaku wielding badass!

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I guess this product has been around for awhile, but it’s getting quite a lot of traction online in the last 24 hours. The Next Web featured the demo video for the iPhone Trick Cover, which is Made in Japan. They reviewer raved about it so much that he wished he didn’t already have a case for his iPhone 6.

So what’s the big deal? It’s essentially a case that has a flip cover, but what’s “cool” is that you can wield your iPhone like a butterfly knife or switchblade or nunchaku. I mean, I guess that’s cool. What do you guys think?

Today’s Blog has Been Tak3n!

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I just want to apologize to my loyal reader readers and let you know in advance that I will not be posting a blog today because of Tak3n opening in theaters nationwide/check local listings for showtimes and, well, frankly, I’ll just be too damn busy watching and studying and discussing the film with just myself or possibly others.

And if you have to ask “why”, all I can do is assume that you are dead inside and incapable of truly feeling human emotion. Because Liam Neeson displaying his particular set of skills in the way that only Liam Neeson can in the greatest action film franchise known to humankind is a thing of wonder and if you don’t get that, I feel sorry for you. Let’s be honest—any day that a Tak3n film is released should be a national holiday. You know I speak the truth so ‘nuff said.

Why the Adult Diaper Industry is About to Make Bank in the Philippines

ORIGINALIf you’re currently living in the Philippines (a heavily Catholic country), then you are most likely not only aware of the Pope’s visit next week, but have already made plans to see his Holiness. However, if this is the case, you should plan on wearing adult diapers.

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Why?

Because apparently, with the close to 6 million expected to attend his final mass on Jan. 18 in Manila, authorities are saying there will not be enough toilets to handle such a big crowd. So what better option than to wear the diapers which, according to the Metropolitan Manila Development Authority, can absorb up to “four rounds of urination.”

Oh-kay…uh, that’s certainly an original solution to the problem.

‘The Empress of China’ TV series returns, but it’s less filling

We wrote last week about the big budget TV series ‘The Empress of China’ was taken off the air in China because of censorship violations, mainly because of too much cleavage. The studio had a month to figure things out and re-edit the show to allow it to go back on the air. Here’s a quick reminder of that cleavage:

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Yeah, what’s the big deal, right?

Anyhoo, looks like the studio came up with a solution and the show is back on the air. Shanghaiist actually has some screenshots, which you can see below:

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And here’s the some before and after photos to illustrate the “changes:”

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Yep, they just zoomed in.