And This Happened…

Meng Zhaoguo is allegedly the first Chinese citizen to be abducted by aliens. The incident occurred about two decades ago and not only was Zhaoguo abducted while working as a lumberjack, but he supposedly had sex with an alien and is going to be the father of a half-alien child. The sex lasted for 40 minutes and…oh, screw it, who gives a flying frig? Zhaoguo is probably batshit crazy and I’m reporting this story purely as an excuse to post the headline that accompanied the report, which I am going to flat-out declare as the greatest headline you’re likely to see on this or any other planet:

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And good luck to Mr. Zhaoguo. May you be reunited with your child soon.

Yeah, we miss Han too

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Who cried when the “family” was attending to Han’s funeral in FURIOUS 7? Yeah, me too. It was up there with the very touching tribute to Paul Walker at the end of the film and kudos for director James Wan for overcoming one of the biggest and most daunting challenges in crafting a big summer tentpole where your actor tragically dies midway through filming, and crafting a cohesive and fun ride after the fact, through the Hollywood magic.

And although FAST 7 was a lot of fun and worthy addition to the franchise, Han (and Giselle) were sorely missed. According to Buzzfeed’s chief film critic Allison Wilmore, who is so on point about Han Seoul-Oh and his overall contribution to the dynamic of the FAST series:

TBT: ‘Telegraph’ & Berkeley in the ’90s

A boy, a street vendor’s child on Telegraph Ave.

A boy, a street vendor’s child on Telegraph Ave.

As I was recently doing research into a story set in Berkeley in the 90s, when I went to school, I dug up the very first thing I made, Telegraph, an 80 minute documentary that I shot on the VHS camera my roommate loaned me for a weekend. It was an assignment I shot in lieu of writing a paper to my Documentary Film class at Berkeley during my junior year…. which must have been 1990.

The film was modeled after Walter Ruttman’s Berlin: Symphony of a Great City that I saw in that class. Instead of Berlin, I decided to do a similar exercise on the life of a day on the famed Berkeley street, Telegraph Ave. I was able to capture and interview many street and homeless personalities whom I’d bump into on Telegraph Ave. every day en route to school.

To Live and Eat in Los Angeles

The flavorful amuse bouche at Tangine, Beverly Hills.

The flavorful amuse bouche at Tangine, Beverly Hills.

I’ve been to many cities in the world from Hong Kong to Tokyo to Paris to Berlin to New York, but none have international cuisines more diverse, more authentic, and more affordable than Los Angeles. I’m conjecturing that it’s all due to this metropolis’ amazing diversity in population and affordability of space. Even an incredibly specialized ethnic cuisine can afford to open up a little shop that local residents will champion. From haut cuisine in Beverly Hills to a mom-and-pop shop in Koreatown, LA has nothing short of good eats.

My aunt took me out for her birthday at Beverly Hills’ Tagine, a Moroccan haut cuisine restaurant. “It used to be impossible to get hummus in the 80s,” reminisced my aunt over the six course tasting menu with wine pairings, “And now it’s everywhere with all different flavors.”

Agents of SHIELD — “Afterlife” — Season 2, Episode 16 — Review & Recap

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(Spoilers ahead…)

As Robert Gonzalez makes his move, Coulson must do whatever it takes to protect the future of S.H.I.E.L.D. Meanwhile Skye’s journey to control her powers take a surprising turn when she meets the enigmatic Inhuman named Lincoln….

This was the transition episode where everyone was in their own “Afterlife” or way station, as the players assess their moves and prepare for their plan of attack. Basically, all the SHIELD stuff and Coulson and Hunter waiting out the attack outside Bruce Banner’s Hulk-secured cabin were the best parts with witty dialogue, alliances questioned and lots of cooking and steaming of plots.

This Week in Internet Sexiness: Two Pandas Have Sex for Longer Than Two Pandas Have Ever Had Sex

Horny Pandas Set Record With Marathon Sex Session

Pandas are not known for their sexual prowess. On average, their lovemaking lasts from 30 seconds to five minutes, which isn’t that long and completely incomprehensible to me since I can’t relate to that at all. And that’s when they’re in the mood or able to perform, which isn’t a given with pandas as they are notoriously, well, bad at doing the nasty. Zookeepers have even had to produce panda porn to get them horny. Again, something I can’t relate to on any level.

"I'm only watching this for the story."

“I’m only watching this for the story.”

So when two pandas at the Sichuan Giant Panda Research Center named Lu Lu and Zhen Zhen went at it for a full seven minutes and 45 seconds, they became the rock stars of the panda world. Lu Lu even earned the nickname “Enduring Brother” when the video of their sex marathon went viral in China.

Around the Horn: Nostalgia Food

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Even though I did not grow up in Hong Kong, I went there often as a child as my father’s side of the family is from there. One of my favorite places to eat was the Chinese diner or “Cha Chaan Teng” – essentially a “tea canteen” that served Cantonese street-food classics (bbq, noodles, etc) along with western food done Chinese style to Hong Kongers. My favorite meal that I would share with my grandmother would be soy sauce roasted quail (with a dark caramelized, crispy Peking duck-like skin and itty, bitty drumsticks that I’d gnaw on like Sylvester the cat), borscht soup (more sweet than sour), and chestnut paste layer cake – these were probably the most refined items on the menu which suited her Shanghainese tastes.

If I was craving comfort food, I’d dig into their baked rice or noodle dishes which essentially was a protein on top of starch drowned with a rich sauce and baked in the oven to perfection. So that means either ketchup fried rice or spaghetti noodles with baked pork chop in tomato sauce or, “portuguese chicken” which is basically a coconut curry chicken baked in rice. And to wash it all down, I’d slurp down either a HK milk tea (basically strong black tea with sweetened cream), ovaltine (the malty British iteration), or a red bean icee (tall glass with red beans, crushed ice and sweetened milk). I have a big sweet tooth so the intense combination of sweet and savory and more sweet put me in my happy place. Also the fusion of east and west, kid food (noodles plus ketchup, ovaltine) and grown up food (Cantonese classics and baked rice) all mixed up – is both a reflection of my identity and palate so there’s a certain gastronomic synchronicity that makes me feel just at home.

Look, It’s our Friend Josh Fu Doing the Opposite of Killing It on This Game Show

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Our friend Josh Fu is one half of Fu Music and placed in the top two during the first season of our competition show Internet Icon. Here he is on the game show Password not doing quite as well as he did on our show. In fact, this is a pretty epic fail but also the best 3 ½ minutes you’ll spend on the internet today:

But lest you think from his performance above that Josh is not awesome, check out this video he and his brother Jacob shot and edited in six hours during our Internet Icon competition and tell me it’s not badass:

Why the Producers of This 1980s C. Thomas Howell Movie Should Sue Mindy Kaling’s Brother

You might have heard that Vijay Chokal-Ingam, the older brother of actor/producer/writer Mindy Kaling, recently admitted that he had pretended to be African American so he would have a better chance of being accepted to prestigious medical schools and plans to write a book about it now.

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In his own words: “I knew that admission standards for certain minorities under affirmative action were, let’s say… less stringent?”

So he shaved his head, trimmed his eyelashes, started using his middle name (Jojo) and…instant beneficiary of affirmative action!

Although he interviewed at eleven prestigious medical schools as a black man including Harvard and Columbia, he only got into one: St. Louis University Medical School. And there he spent two years living in “blackface”.

Should I Or Should I Not Visit My Neighbor, An Acquaintance, Who Was Moved Into A Convalescent Home About Six Months Ago, And Who I Visited Once, But That Was A While Ago?

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This was the question posed to me by my mom the other day on the phone.  Lately (and by “lately” I mean the last ten years or so), she has had many such questions for me.  “What gift should I get my niece who loves the movie ‘The Titanic?’” “I visited two dentists’ offices, and while one doctor comes more highly recommended, he wore sandals.  Is that normal?  Who would you pick?” or “We need to buy a car, and I don’t know whether we should go to a dealer or a private party.”

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These are questions my mom never would’ve asked me when I was a middle schooler, even a teen.

According to Chinese Textbooks, Everyone in the World Should be Gay

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There are apparently sex education textbooks in Chinese high schools that state that “masturbation will lead to mental disorders and homosexuality.”

So if this is true, every single person on Earth should turn gay. In fact, if those high school students reading those textbooks are anything like I was at their age, they should be turning gay at least 3 or 4 times a day.

SXSW 2015 Coverage from The Daily Buzz including highlights from K-Pop Showcase

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The SXSW Conferences ended almost 10 days ago, and the press coverage is still trickling through. We already reported about the strong Asian American film representation at the SXSW Film Festival, including the world premieres of KTOWN COWBOYS and TWINSTERS among others, the real spotlight at SXSW is the massive music conference, which continues to overshadow both the film and interactive conferences, with over 2,000 bands from around the world congregating in Austin, officially and unofficially, to get noticed with the numerous fans and music reps who are there to see the next wave of potential superstars.